Broken (Part 1)
by T64t
Summary: This starts after the story "Be there on choosing day" (read it first): "I tried to threaten them to reveal everything I know, but if I'm dead, that means it didn't work. Please help me and give the file to his mother. I hope they'll succeed where I failed." rated T/light M PART 2 PUBLISHED NOV 27th
1. Chapter 1 : Breaking

**_Author's note._**

_**DISCLAIMER : I do not own any rights on Divergent series or any of its characters.**_**_ This is a full fiction story on my own._**

**_This story follows my first attempts of a sequel to Allegiant (Title is : Be there on choosing day) if you want to have a go._**

**_If you start from here, just know that Tris has been saved by Matthew and has been living in Indianapolis with her baby girl (born as she was in hospital) for 3 years before coming back to four. She has been seriously wounded and her hip had to be replaced with prosthesis. They now live happily together in a big apartment in Chicago with Natalie, 4 and a half._**

**_I hope you'll forgive my style as I usually write in French and read the books in French too. Feel free to give me comments on any big mistake about that._**

**_Please review a lot…I love it_**

**_Monday March 21st (2 months after Broken Chap. 20)_**

**1 Tris : Breaking**

I'm getting worried, Matthew's late, it's 8 PM already. He usually takes care not to do this, because he knows I'm easily getting paranoid if anyone I care of, seems to be in danger. He took so many risks to save me, that I always fear the government finds out and make him pay.

There are just a few people who really know who I am: Caleb, our close friends Christina Zeke and Shauna, Cara, Amar and George, and of course his mother. I'm Grace for everyone else. Evelyn still doesn't like me that much. I think she'd better have me dead for good, because she would have had her son all for herself.

Now, she has to count with me and Natalie. And no one can ever beat Natalie in Tobias's heart. I'm afraid she won on me too. He melts like ice cream any time she looks at him with her deep blue eyes. I shall keep an eye on her, she gets anything from her father, beyond reasonable. I don't want her to be spoiled, we were Abnegation born. I can't blame him though. He missed so much of her life already, he wants to make the most of it now.

The bell rings. Matthew at last! I let him in. My smile evaporates when I see his stern face and swollen red eyes. He looks terrified and keeps looking all round as to check no one's watching us. "Get in." I say.

"Is Natalie sleeping?" He asks. "Yes."I say, "Matthew, what on earth happened to you?"

"Please, get Four and sit down, both of you." My stomach clenches. I feel something bad coming. I call Four with a croaked voice. He is coming out of the kitchen with drinks and halts for a second when he looks at Matthew.

"Guess you need that, Matt." He says, giving him the glass. "Thanks" says Matthew. "Please sit down."

He takes a deep breath and starts "Remember my friend Fred who helped me though saving you and trying to fix your hip?"

"Yes" I say "He got to cut into my body about 10 times at least."

"Well, …He's dead !" spits Matthew."He was hit by a wild car, in front of the hospital 2 days ago." I share a tear. I owed him.

Matthew goes on with visible suffering. "And today, I received a letter from him along with this file in my mail box, he says showing us a plain blue file with a barcode on it. Please read. Believe me I didn't know about that."

He gives the letter to me, puts the file on the table and adds…"Four, promise me you won't break anything. I had to come straight away. I'm so sorry…Had I known…I…I." He cries looking on the floor.

We read

_Dear Matt,_

_I you got this, it's because I have failed in making things right and I'm either dead or in jail. What you have here is my fault. They said they would kill me if I spoke about it and I was afraid of them. When they took the baby I should have fought back but I didn't. They said they would give him back when he reached 3, but they lied to me._

_I should have known._

_I tried to threaten them to reveal everything I know, but if I'm dead that means it didn't work._

_Please help me and give the file to his mother. I hope they'll succeed where I failed._

_I'm so sorry. I'm a monster._

_Hope this will help, tell them I'm sorry._

_Fred_

Then I take the file on the table and it looks like a medical record of some sort. I read but I fear I already know what's in.

_Subject : PRIOR / EATON Adam_

_Category: High divergence(female) with strong self influence (male)_

_Parenthood:_

_Mother : Beatrice (Tris) PRIOR_

_Father : Tobias EATON (JOHNSON)_

_Sister: Natalie (twin)_

And it goes on with dates and facts, and charts…pictures. I recognize the hospital where I gave birth to Natalie and the doctors on it have two babies in their arms.

I drop the whole thing. Pain is everywhere. I'm getting out of breath and start moaning helplessly, like an animal about to die in a trap.


	2. Chapter 2 : Facing

**2 Tobias : Facing**

I'm in a state of shock. I hear Tris moaning in agony and, more than what I just read, this is what makes me realize what's happening. Someone stole our son; someone is experimenting on him, or worse, torturing him. I'm not crying though.

I want to erase some of the pictures I just had a glimpse of, from my memory. What if they made him go through his fear landscape already or tried every serum on him. It's not grief that's growing inside me right now: I want to break something. I want to kill someone. But my erratic look falls upon a prostrate Tris. She's rocking frantically, as she is trying to get out of a mental maze, that has no way out.

I feel cold fury growing inside me. It's been a very long time since I last thought about killing someone and I feel this old feeling coming back. I know I can do it well, and I will if needed. When did I say words can heal anything? I want my son back, and I want someone to pay for this crime. Watching her, brings me back to my senses and I try to breathe slowly to overpower my fury. I have to pull myself up. I know I must be the strong one now. I have to think of something to do and quick.

First I kneel to Tris and take her into my arms to try and comfort her like a baby. She stops moaning but then she starts rocking repeating "My baby, they stole my baby,… my baby" in a plaintive voice.

What I would need right now, is a dose of the Amity peace serum. Instead, I go for some strong alcohol, hoping, this will knock her out a little. I whisper in her ear, while she drinks "I'll find out where they keep him. We'll go and take him back I swear. Don't worry, I'll bring him back to you okay? They won't get away with it."

She just goes on crying but she stopped her insane scary litany. I grab her in my arms and let her lie on the sofa. I whisper "You lie on the couch while we work out a plan with Matthew. And tomorrow, we'll fight them together you'll see." I kiss her gently on the cheek and stroke her hair for a minute. She seems to calm down a little. She nods faintly and closes her eyes.

I pull Matthew by the arm to shake him a little and I sit him at the dinner table next to me and I grab the blue file back. I need to get as many information as I can from this. First thing is to find out where he is, and maybe there's not much time left, before they move him. I must keep my head cool; Tris won't be the leader for this war.

"Matthew what the hell is this about?" I ask angrily. "How did they actually manage to steal our kid?"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know how they found out that Tris was with us. The only thing I can imagine, i s that they could have come across one of her blood samples. We needed to test different things before each surgery so she had blood tests. Her DNA is such a unique one…they could have tracked down for this. But I don't get how they knew she had twins, we didn't! They must have known before she gave birth because they managed to hide them from everyone. Tris was asleep because of the C-section, but there were others… I suppose, Fred helped them at some point, to erase data from the pregnancy reports. I've read them you know and there was no trace of twins!"

"Ok. What we need first is information. We're going to scan this file and try to get as many clues as we can, about who was there, where it was and when. We need a starting point to locate him or his gaolers. Then I'll find a way to spy on them, I'm an expert in that."

I hear Tris's calm breathing and I understand she's asleep.

We start taking all that's in the file to have a close look at it. First I separate the pictures from the other documents to have a closer look, in search of some indication about the place they're taken. I stop at one of them.

It's Adam's face. He must be 3 on this one, he's got the same look than Natalie's on the first day I saw her. But I don't see the faintest shadow of a smile. I feel like looking at myself when my dad freed me after a cupboard punishment.

I'm sure Adam will get stronger and fight them. They don't stand a chance.


	3. Chapter 3 : The track

**3\. Tobias : The track  
**

I minutely go through the pictures and documents over and over again, and I have a notebook ready in case I find something interesting.

Matthew is trying to get something out from the medical records and test results. He's looking for something unusual that could give us hint of a specific serum or experimental equipment that we could track from the retailer.

The pictures don't help very much. They mostly show internal view of labs or bedrooms but I can spot no window or sign of any kind on most of them. On one of them, I spot a bedroom number plate but only part of it is visible. I write down the letters and figures I can read : B10..and the next digit could either be 3 or 5; I can't see the top of it. That makes it _B10 3/5 x_.

There is also a lone outside view, where we can see Adam making some running test I suppose. At the back of the scene, I see a low building with a Tower at one end. It's not very clear but I can see a silhouette of it: It has something like two pillars on each side of the tower and a sort of round part with a 4 pane little roof on top of it.

I make a drawing of it and put the picture aside in an envelope, along with Adam's portrait that I put in my own pocket. I don't want to leave him until we are reunited.

Besides this, none of the other papers can give a clue to us: no name or address, no reference to any location at all. On one of the papers though we read the letters _**FS Il. **_in a corner.

Then Matthew gives a blue piece of paper to me and says "Four, you should have a look on this. You know more than me about those things."

This looks like a form with three lines. Each of the line has a name in the subject column and I read PRIOR Adam, PRIOR Natalie and Finally PRIOR Beatrice. The columns go like this:

_Subject / Model / Serial number / Date checked _

I turn to the data that seem to be the technical reference of whatever this is. The model says Y-20K-TSD 42-F for Tris and Natalie and Y-20K-TSD 42-M for Adam so I believe the last part of it, is for gender of the subject.

The serial numbers are all different, but I write them back on the notebook, along with the connected name. The check date corresponds with Natalie's birth day, so I have to think, what is so important they had to check it first thing straight after the twins were born.

Tris suddenly struggles on the couch, yelling frantically "No, No, stop, you're killing me!" I run to her to wake her up. She must have had an awful nightmare, which I see from her terrified look.

"Thank you" she says, visibly shaken. "I was dreaming they were cutting me open to take the twins out, but the umbilical cord wouldn't separate. And they were going on anyway so they were tearing me apart …and it was excruciating pain."

"Have a glass of water' I say "and try to get some rest again." She drinks half of the glass and goes back to sleep. I pull a blanket on her, because I prefer having her sleeping here, where I can have an eye on her; I look at her for a second and kiss her on the cheek.

And the idea just strikes me: **_have an eye on her_**. I try to have a look at Tris' arms but I don't see anything. I'll have a closer look tomorrow and check on Natalie too. But I know what they've done.

"My wife and kids are under surveillance any time: they have some electronic tracking device in their bodies." I explain to Matthew. He looks flabbergasted "I can't believe it." He says "All this time they knew where to find us. That's why they let go on the trial, so easily then… No wonder they didn't try to know where she would live in Chicago."

I turn the computer on, in order to find something about the source of this equipment. "I'm not sure about that" I say. "It depends on how far this device can send a signal. If I'm right they must not be too far to intercept the signal." And after a while "Got it: this model has an operating area of 20 thousand yards, so this is the area where they should stand in order to get the signal. I suppose the Bureau could make it, or some other place in the city."

If I can't find where they hid the chipset by myself, I'll have to find an electromagnetic detector to find out where the device is. I need to know where to find this.

Just know, there's one thing that's for sure: I'll need help and I think I know where to find it too.

I turn back to Matthew

"Did you find something in the medical records?" I ask.

"Not much except that your kid seems to have some outstanding capacities for his age. I understand that they train him in every field of knowledge, as if they tried to make him a full member of your 5 old factions: sciences, sports and fight, even law, history and arts"

"You mean they're pushing him off limits" I say sadly;

"Yes. I saw records of dozens of serum exposures – especially the simulation serum, sometimes twice a week. I suppose he's a bit young for the truth serum."

"You mean, they put Adam through his fear landscape dozens of times?" I say, clutching my fists and jaws -someone's gonna pay for this; its torture, I know well about it.

I look at the clock, it says 3.20 AM. I say "I think you should go home and get some sleep Matt. There's nothing more that we can do on our own, right know. Besides, we shouldn't change our habits too openly, you know: be late at work, look worn or sad… If they do watch us, they could notice anything. We have to be very careful."

Come back tomorrow at 6PM. We'll draw plans and I might have some more information about what to do and some more help to do it.


	4. Chapter 4 : Pain and Hope

**4\. Pain and hope**

**Tris POV**

I wake up at 6, from the most terrifying nightmare, about serums and brain surgery this time. I'm trembling and sweating. Four puts his arms around me, trying to comfort me but I know he didn't sleep well either, if he slept at all. It's like they tore some part of my live body and I can feel the hole aching any second. I put my head on his chest and he strokes my hair. This always calms me down when I'm tensed…And I am right know.

"Hey" says Four looking worriedly at me, "This is only your imagination." I feel he isn't that sure about what he's telling right know. I ask "Did you find something useful yesterday?"

"Let's say we have something to start with, but I'll need help to go further. I'll see that today after work. We have to act normally, just in case someone is watching us. What are you supposed to do today?" He adds.

My new job is very special. The council decided that, regarding my multiple abilities, I would probably be of good advice to people. As the faction system still operates for those who need or want it, I meet the newcomers to town and the people who don't know where to go to (factionless or transfers). I speak with them and from what I feel, and some easy tests, I indicate where they should go for their training period. Usually, this way, people get to develop their natural abilities to some extent, and the faction leaders find the most appropriate jobs for them afterwards.

Some don't need this of course, and strangely, a lot of the natives don't belong to a faction anymore, though they can't really leave it behind: Christina gets only black and white furniture, Caleb has his walls covered with books and Zeke installed a dauntless training room in his apartment. He says it's for Shaunas' exercises but he's the one who gets at it at 6AM.

"Today, I have to lecture a new group about the faction system this morning, and I meet Christina in the afternoon to check the available new housing near the factions headquarters." I answer. "Don't worry, I'll pull myself up and no one will notice." I hesitate…"maybe Christina will know there's something wrong. You know I'm an open book to her."

"Try your best not to let her know, until I made up my mind about what to do. Okay" He says, giving me a kiss.

**Four POV**

I'll prepare Natalie and take her to school today, that will ease your day a bit" I say. I actually want to do this, because I hope to be able to have a look at her skin without Tris knowing, in case I could find a sign of where the tracker is in her body.

Tris goes out of the shower crying and sits on the bed. "You know, I feel guilty that I didn't know about him. I bore those two kids for nine months, and they managed to take him out from my very womb without my knowing it at all. I hate myself for this. I hate them for what they feel free to do to us." Something terrifying flashes across her eyes. I don't want to know what she's thinking about right now.

I kiss her, and say "We will get him back, I promise you, Okay? Trust me." She kisses me back as an answer and minutes later my clothes are gone and her towel too.

xxx

"This is very nice but we really need to get up this time." I say "Don't think this is a proper excuse for being late at work." I add with a wink.

I see a very thin smile on her lips.


	5. Chapter 5 : Digging deep

**5\. Four: Digging deep**

This day's work has been ages to me.

I had to prepare a series of political meetings for Johanna and a visit of the Erudites' training centre. I couldn't concentrate on my work and I forgot to confirm the dinner reservation for next Tuesday. I'll have to do it tomorrow.

This life seems so vain to me today. I had thought politics would be a better way to fight for a better life but I just realized that the people who stole our son, turned me out of this path. I'm back to my Dauntless self, the one that gave me strength to leave my father, strength to survive the training, strength to spy on my own faction and free our city from the Bureau.

Here I am. I've been looking forward to meet with Arthur, my former neighbor since this morning. I haven't seen him since we moved up to the 7th floor in a bigger apartment. We needed a room for Natalie, and we even have a spare room, in case we have so many friends someday, who would like to stay with us for a week-end. We use it as an office for Tris and me right now, and sometimes Natalie seems to believe the floor space belongs to her.

Arthur opens the door. "Hi Tobias" he says." What takes you down here that is so important you needed to have a drink with me just today?" I get in, sit at the table and take the picture with the building at the back, along with my note book where I have minutely reported any clue we got yesterday.

"I need your help to find a place as soon as possible. The one on this picture in fact" I explain showing the building with my hand. "I thought you might have any ideas about where to start because this picture is about the only clue I have. It's very important and quite urgent."

"Okay. Is it supposed to be in Chicago?" he asks not trying to get more information about my motives.

"From what I got, it should be within 15 miles from here or so. It's probably very large and in a quiet area" I respond.

Arthur looks very closely to the picture, eyes narrowing when trying to see the building better. "I'm not the best expert he says but here's what I can tell you: This is quite an old building, a university or a military building, maybe. I would say from the second half of the 19th century from the style and height of the tower. They have grass, which is quite convergent with the quiet area you spoke of; they must have a garden or maybe a park around the building. I don't recognize the tower itself though, but I concentrate on the inner city for my work so if it's outside that would explain it."

This is so few information…I feel desperate. I must not show how vital this is for me though. I ask "How do you think we could find more information to narrow our research?"

Arthur thinks for a while and says "If you could find a civil engineer, he might be able to measure the approximate height of the tower with the help of the door size and windows. From here, I guess you could make a research in the city records: most public buildings have their plans and main survey characteristics available. That means you would have to get access to the archives, but I suppose that would not be difficult in your position." he says. He's referring to my job as Johanna Reyes assistant, which actually gives me a certain accreditation in the city hall. The problem is that I must be careful to keep my requests quite confidential. I don't want anyone to guess what I'm trying to do.

As I go back to 7th floor, I wonder if I should tell Tris about the tracker. I don't want to worry her more than she is but, I'm afraid she might go for some irrational moves. She's has been very shaken with this and she's touchy when it comes to her kid. **I must say KIDS now.**

A false move under surveillance would ruin all our efforts to find Adam before anyone notices that we are looking for him.

I checked Natalie's arms and legs this morning; I even had a look all over her body and in her hair. I could not actually trace the littlest scar that would give me a hint of where they hid a tracker on her. I'll have to add an electromagnetic detector to the list of the things I need. This one is getting bigger any hour now.

I decide to wait a little more before letting Tris now she's been tracked for years. When I do, I'll need to have the answer to this problem ready too. As I walk back in the apartment, I stay puzzled in the doorway, looking at the picture of Christina talking with Tris on the couch.

I feel very angry and I'm afraid it shows on my face. How can she play with our kid's safety, and talk to all our friends about it without thinking!

I also see she looks worn and tired; she has also cried a lot for what I see, and she's seems to be trembling constantly. My anger is starting to melt…


	6. Chapter 6 : With a little help

**6\. Tris : With a little help  
**

I see his look full of anger but he says nothing. I'm sure he thinks I have confided into Christina straight away, but I didn't. It's true she guessed, something was very wrong with me. I suppose a lot of people would have, if they had caught me crying in the bathroom twice in an hour. I shouldn't have used make up to hide bags under my eyes this morning; my ruined face gave me out straight away.

In the end, I had to tell her taht something serious had happened, but I didn't want to go further without Four around. I feel so weak that I don't think I can tell about it, without seeing my nightmares pass again before my eyes. I heard that the worst thing for a mother, is to lose her child. I think I'm living through both pains right now: having lost your child and still, knowing he is being tortured…they don't know it but I heard Matthew talking about what they're doing to him with the simulations. And I'm getting paranoid with Natalie now. What if they decided to take her too?

I start "Please, don't get mad at me. I could not pretend with her, she knows me too well. I was waiting for you to explain anything though."

I see him relax a little

"I won't get mad at you" he says."I should've known I asked you too much on this. Anyway that will probably prove useful that Christina's here, as we might need her help very soon."

Four explains quickly to Christina, the news Matthew brought us yesterday. While he's telling her, I can't believe that less than 24 hours have passed since.

For us, the world has turned upside down: we had another child and lost him at the same moment, I have been betrayed and fooled by someone I owe my life to. I had to go though grief and pain again. Is this going to happen over and over again because I'm divergent? You could have thought their thirst for experiment would end, when they discovered Four was not divergent. I thought maybe we could get back our lives and we did. Just for 8 months and 2 days, and the bubble exploded. I'm so exhausted, I'm afraid I won't make it for this fight.

I get out of my thoughts when Four stars explain to Christina the first clues he managed to collect this far.

After he's over Christina says. "Do you know how he looks like?"

Four nods and shows the picture to Christina. This is how I understand four has been keeping this picture with him all the time. I turn my head because I don't want him to see me cry again, but I love him so much at that very second.

"First guys, why on earth didn't you call me earlier? And second, let's get to work. I think I can help at something. I believe my friend Oliver at work, could help you in measuring the building. Besides, he can probably access the survey database to find a list of the corresponding buildings. Can you leave me the picture for one day?"

"Of course" says Four, "but can your colleague be trusted?"

"I can find a good reason for the research, don't worry" she replies with an enigmatic smile. Know what? I'd better go and work out what to tell him right now. I'll be back tomorrow." And she just disappears after a light kiss on my cheek. She whispered "Believe in me, sister."

After she's gone we finally get time to speak alone. "I'm sorry I'm a waste" I say. Four sits closer on the couch and takes me in his arms. I think my strength comes back a little.

"You're not a waste" he says, looking at me with this piercing look that goes straight to my heart. "You're a mother and you're my love. I know they tore you apart, even if I can't imagine how you feel. Remember what you said in the gardens before the attack? That I was whole, worth loving, the best person you'd ever known…"

I nod and try to get this feeling back again, but it won't. It seems as if the nicest moments of our lives belonged to some other person that I lost from sight. Tears fill up my eyes and I suddenly feel so weak.

He wipes my tears gently and says "I have the same for you. Whatever happens, remember I'd be nothing without you, because you're the one who believed in me. Once you'll master your pain, you'll be able to help."

He starts kissing me and, as I respond pulling him closer; I kinda wake up from this second state. I feel warm again, I feel love, I feel less weak, I feel alive…I feel strong.

In one kiss I whisper "I'll fight with you."


	7. Chapter 7 : Reading minds

**7\. Tris : Reading minds**

I'm taking Natalie to school today. I'm finally out of my desperation mood. I think that the very idea of doing something to ruin those people plans about my family, is a pretty good tonic.

When I feel her hand in mine, I realized how I have been neglecting her in the last 2 days. I've been crying or lying with my nightmares all the time – I hate myself when I'm weak- and Christina has been a perfect baby sitter yesterday, as usual. I shall really find a good way to thank her.

Natalie's getting taller for a few weeks, her dress was much too long last year and now she can put it on again, it's too short. I'm sorry because it's her favorite blue dress to play the water fairy. I must see if I can do something to make it last a little more. I feel a pinch in my heart…I wonder if anyone takes care of Adam right now. Who checks his socks in the morning and see that he brushes his teeth correctly? It should be me.

I look at Natalie, playing on the footpath, to avoid crying again. I still can't fix Natalie's ponytail right: her hair is so thin, that it never works, whatever kind of fixation Christina will find for her (she's usually in charge of that because my Abnegation education left me very poor abilities for fashion and beauty accessories).

Anyway, I decided to be a top mother from now on. If I am to get my son back, I'd better be ready to deal with two little wildcats at home isn't it?

I shout "Natalie, don't jump into the puddles! Your shoes will get wet before you start school time." It's spring already and today's full of sun, but the air is still chilly in the morning." Natalie stops and bites her lip. She's thinking of way to change conversation "Are you going to take the baby?" she asks.

I'm startled. "What are you talking about" I respond, vaguely understanding what this is about "What baby?"

"The baby you and dad and Tina were talking about; the one in the tower" she says.

I kneel down to look her right in the eyes and ask "Did you hear us talking yesterday, Natalie?" she nods.

"Okay, Mummy is going to explain something very important to you," I start. "It's not a baby that we're talking about. It's a boy. But this is a secret. Only for you and me and dad and Tina. Do you agree to keep it a secret like fairies do?" I make our secret fairy sign at the same time (I invented this when we had to hide, to let her know what was secret). She nods and returns the sign to me. I go on "We want to find this boy and take him home with us. I can't tell you more now, go to school and we will talk about it tonight with dad. But don't forget the secret!"

She nods and runs on the last few yards to the school. I see her step in another puddle. We are nearly there. Natalie trots towards the door, then comes back to me and whispers in my ear "Can I see him in my dreams you think?" she has a look of concern that clenches my stomach. I respond with my voice low "Did you actually see a boy in your dreams? a school friend you mean?"

"No" She says "He came to me yesterday when I was asleep. The boy on dad's picture. He was afraid and his name was Adam because someone was shouting at him. I tried to speak with him but he disappeared."

It strikes me like a blow: She's connected to him or at least he is able to establish some kind of mental connection with her. I can't figure out how this could happen. Divergency does not give you extra abilities like that.

I say "Maybe you saw him, yes. We will talk about it tonight, too. For now, go to school honey….and give me a hug!"

I have plenty of appointments this morning so I don't have much time to think. My interviews and tests give: 2 Dauntless, 1 Erudite and 2 Abnegation trainees. After lunch, I have to prepare a lecture I will have next week at a factionless shelter. In those, a lot of people would need to go back to factions for a while, before getting good jobs. Most of these people just need a start, to develop incredible gifts. I see it every day. I have to tell them that. The more I see it, the less I understand how the Bureau, could doubt human brain and nature so much, that they turned to messing DNA rather than educate people. My speech is ready within 1 hour so I guess I can spend the rest of the afternoon in the Erudites' library before picking Natalie at school.

I'd like to check some theory of mine.

It's a good thing I've been there many times before for the trainees evaluations. I quite know my way around without asking.

I find back the main library quite easily. I just hope that the subject I want to look at, is in the free access area. The Erudites still keep a good part of their knowledge locked in the private section. That would mean I should ask Caleb and I definitely don't.

I walk slowly down the lane until the SA-SE section. The books I need should be on the last shelves. I look for a while, reading the titles, hoping to find the one I'm looking for. Here : _"Serums and their effects" _I pick it and my heart stops when I get a glimpse of the author's name, written on golden letters : _Jeanine MATTHEWS_. I feel icicles in my heart and, at the same time, I remember she told me to be the best expert of the city, when it came to serums. Maybe that should comfort me…

I look at the table of contents feverishly…Yes! There's a chapter about what I need. And I go to the page "Side effects of simulation serum."

I read it all and my guess must be right: it has happened that in a case of overexposure, the simulation serum could affect your brain capacities. Jeanine reports 2 main effects (I'm not sure that I want to know what she had to do to discover this):

\- If the exposure come in one shot, it usually incapacitates some part of the nervous system causing a subject to be unable to know when he is in the simulation. The most affected subjects can even be unable to wake up from the simulation.

\- As a regular "treatment" the serum can modify the brain to adapt and control the simulation. With time, the neurotransmitters also start to linger more and more in the body and sometimes never disappear anymore. The ultimate state in this case, would be the capacity to actually produce a simulation, that could affect some people directly even without any serum injected. The book also says that no such case has been witnessed yet.

My mind goes back to Natalie.

Maybe someone just has.


	8. Chapter 8 : Digging deeper

**8\. Four : Digging deeper**

I hope Christina's got something. My whole day has been a total waste. Didn't get the chance to progress at all. I had to follow Johanna all day through the council weekly meeting and the review of urgent issues for next week. Even my lunchtime was spent in working over the best way to anticipate the need of housing for the next 5 years. I'm exhausted.

I've been considering the idea of revealing our secret to Amar, George and Zeke. I come to think I'll need them when time has come to and get Adam back. We might need to go over a real fight and there's no way I can't get any weapons on my own.

When I get home, I find Tris playing cards with Natalie. I give them a kiss (changes into a hug for Natalie) not to disturb the game, and watch them play, for a while. I smile and wonder if we'll be able to do this with Adam someday. Does he even know what it is to play? I suppose they're building a strange kind of world around him, without kids around to play with him, and duties or cruel tests all day long. How will he do at home if we ever manage to get him out of where he is?...WHEN we'll manage to get him out sounds better.

The doorbell rings. It's Christina. "Hello everybody" she says, "I bring you some news. Hope you'll like them."

Natalie shouts merrily "Tina !" and comes to her for a kiss.

"Sit down" I say, you came straight from work, would you like some drink? "No drink, thanks she says, "I'm not staying long, I… have some other plans for tonight.

Tris seems to raise an ear and asks "Sounds like a date plan to me…" Christina's cheeks turn to bright red.

I stare at her. "Okay" she says, looking annoyed, "I had to make friends with Oliver today, to make him willing to help me so I pretended I was taking on a personal research for a degree. Yes guys, I lied for you; and,…and he is the nicest guy ever. He is brilliant, funny… and he asked me out tonight."

"I'm happy for you." Says Tris. "I'm happy that something positive gets out of this mess."

"Better say what you had to." I add "Too bad to be late for a first date, isn't it?"

"Okay." Christina takes a pretty big pile of papers out of a briefcase. "Look: This list, gives you all the buildings built between 1850 and 1900, that have at least one part of their structure between 220 and 235 feet in your area of research. The problem is that you can't know from here, which part it is, unless you read the detailed review."

I feel so happy she got so much information in just one day. I think this Oliver must really love her or I'll believe Christina has developed charming powers.

"And this is the bonus gift" says Christina with a large smile. She unfolds a large survey map on the table. Oliver says with this you can check for the existence of the other building on the picture, once you've found a tower.

"This is Perfect!" I shout.

The map covers approximately the very area we need to prospect. "Give Oliver a big kiss tonight!" I add with a wink.

"Drop it Four!" says Christina, or I could take back this map. "I have to leave anyway, or I'll be late. Have a nice reading night Guys. No kissing between chapters" she says, pointing to the big pile of papers. A last wave to us, and she's gone.

Shortly after, we give Natalie her bath and we eat together. Natalie makes faces and starts splashing soup everywhere. After a short debate, it seems that she would eat better if I take the spoon to her mouth. This little game goes on with the ham and salad. I guess it's her awkward way to show me she needs me too. When we're done, Tris says "Now you should show the drawing you made at school to daddy, Natalie."

Natalie jumps from the chair and runs to the living room and comes back with a piece of paper. I can see what I believe to be a house with 4 people in it, two big ones and two small ones that look very much alike. "Tell daddy who it is" asks Tris.

Natalie points out on the drawing as she says "Mummy, daddy, Natalie and Adam."

I'm puzzled "How could she know?" I start. "She heard us yesterday and from what she explained to me, she is connected to Adam in her dreams somehow. I might have an explanation for this. I'll tell you" Tris replies.

"Thank you Natalie." Maybe we should go to bed now. Go and brush your teeth. Would you like me to read a story?" She nods "And chase the monsters too" she adds, "The red one's back. Can you frighten the monsters for Adam too daddy, he's afraid?"

My heart's suddenly heavy. "Not yet darling,… not yet, but if you see him tonight, tell him I'm coming soon, Okay?"

She nods with a smile.


	9. Chapter 9: Tower and Mother

**9\. Tris: Tower and Mother**

After dinner, Four and I share the pile of documents in two and each of us started to read the building descriptions through, looking for the tower we need to find.

Most of the buildings are much bigger than a tower, and after 3 hours of patient reading, I find something interesting.

The review says :

_"__The water tower was the main landmark of the Fort Sheridan__military base. The base was commissioned in 1887 and was used by the United States Army__until 1993. Built from 1889 to 1891, the tower was among the first structures completed in the fort. It was built with and the roof was red terra cotta. The tower originally stood 227 feet (69 m) high, which listed it among the tallest buildings in Illinois__." [©courtesy from wikipedia]_

I hand the page to Four "Look at this."

He reads "Sounds interesting: an old military base with a tower." He gives a quick look to his notebook. It would also be convergent with the F.S. Il. Mark I spotted in the file Matthew gave us. We need to find a picture of it, or a drawing of the tower… a sketch, anything."

"There's nothing more here" I say, desperately looking into the papers,"maybe we could find one on the computer database, but we shouldn't access it from our computer. Maybe we can ask Arthur to have a look for us tomorrow. With his job, no one will notice if he does some research about old buildings."

Suddenly I jump on my feet and go to the survey map. I nod when I see the map "Fort Sheridan is a very big compound with greens, and it goes over more than 200 acres, next to shore. Sounds very much like it, Four!"

He answers "Let's keep our heads cold Tris. I hope this is it, but we might be mistaken. Look, we'll just go through all that's left, just in case there is another interesting building, and then we will have to go and sleep. We won't do anything else tonight."

At 2 AM, the reading is all over, with no other convenient tower found.

This night, when we go to sleep, I nest myself in Four's arms with something new in my heart real HOPE.

Next day's Saturday. The doorbell starts ringing at 10 AM. I'm not really awake, even if Natalie came jumping on our bed at 7 as usual. I'm afraid she doesn't understand what week-end and late sleep means. My hot shower did not erase the very short night I just had, and my vision is blurred a little by the hours spent on the tiny print of the building records.

When I open the door, I have the absolute -and unhappy- surprise, to find Evelyn at the door. I let her in, stunned that she invited herself. As we are pretty cold to each other, she usually never does. I wonder what happened when she says "Tobias told me. I thought maybe, I could help you with Natalie while you do all that you need to find where he is." At least she's not pretending, nor fake and it's normal that Four told her, it's her grandson. "I'd like to talk with you too,…alone" she adds.

I'm about to spit something like "What for" but I refrain as Four gets into the room with Natalie. "OK." I say while she's kissing Four and Natalie. She brought a tiny music box for Natalie and she suggests, that she should go to her room with Four to try it, while we sit on the couch to talk.

I don't like Evelyn Johnson. Whatever I do, I still hear her, saying that I won't stay in his son's life for long. She has been nearly right about this, though, but I'm still here. I picture her as the despotic and arrogant person, that I discovered in the Factionless cold hearted leader she was. I know she's trying to change and I don't want to forbid her seeing Natalie and Tobias, but I just don't like her…or who she is now.

"I know what it is, to live without your child" she starts. I'm surprised that she would want to speak about that with me, and I'm uncomfortable "You know what it is to ABANDON you child, you mean. That is very different." I spit; quite annoyed she's here at all.

"How can you judge me Tris?" she says, visibly shaken "I would've thought you had known Marcus enough…Do you really think I had a choice in this? Would you have taken your own child to a factionless life; knowing that no one would help you because of your husband's powerful position? Everyone was led to blame me as the traitor. I feared for my very life every day!"

The blow strikes but I don't bend easily. "Okay. What do you expect from me?"

"Nothing. I was just offering my help if you want it, but it seems you don't. If you change your mind, you know where to find me. I don't dislike you as much as you think, Tris." and she gets up.

Before she leaves to Natalie's bedroom I ask "how did you manage to go on, knowing he thought you dead, and was suffering torture every day with Marcus?" As I say it, I'm suddenly struck by the similarity of the two situations.

She sits back. "I won't say I didn't have to blind my mind to it, for some time. Maybe that's why I took so much time before letting Tobias know I was alive. Much too long… I realized afterwards. This is something he will never really forgive me." She pauses. "I suppose that I tried to pretend Marcus was not the monster he really was, because the truth was unbearable. What I learned though is, that the best way to get out of it, is to actually do something to make things right again. I hid too long, before I found the strength to fight back. Don't make the same mistake, you can do it: Marcus had destroyed me but Tobias makes you strong. I can see it."

All I can find to say is "Thank you Evelyn." I say her name on purpose for once, and curiously it comes easier to me. "Maybe we should speak together more often, and get to know each other?" I'm sure my smile's not convincing though.

"Let me know when you're ready." She says returning my smile.

"Will you stay for lunch then?" I respond.

"I'd love to" she says.


	10. Chapter 10 : A war council

**10\. Four : A war council**

Shortly after lunch, nearly every half hour one of our friends comes in. At 2.30, the whole bunch of our closest friends either stand or sits somewhere in the apartment: Zeke, Amar, George, Matthew and, of course Christina. I suppose Shauna's at home with Alice their daughter.

I understood they guessed something was wrong because Tris and I haven't answered our cell phones for two days. Christina lied quite well but Matthew couldn't resist Zeke, Amar and Shauna's joined efforts.

Tris is running everywhere to provide drinks and starts baking muffins for everyone, while Natalie tries to get someone to play with her. I ask Evelyn to take her to her room so we can speak quietly without he. Muffins are an old Dauntless habit we didn't lose. I'm quite astonished that Tris learned how to actually bake muffins. That's the good part about having a kid, you develop new talents, though cooking meals comes more from our Abnegation heritage.

When everybody seems to be properly seated, watered and fed, Christina shouts "Let's go Four, now we're here, let's make plans; what shall we do?"

I feel uncomfortable because I haven't got the slightest plan right now. I start "I don't know yet, we still don't have all we need to go on."

"Why not tell us what you've got and what you need then?" asks Zeke.

I clear my throat and try to know where to start "Okay. Thanks to the information that Christina got yesterday, I think that Tris and I, now have an idea of the place where they could hold our son captive." I feel strange saying this. I have the disturbing feeling of being a warrior or something, and I don't really like it. Everyone's waiting…

Tris spots my embarrassment and winks to Christina saying "Hope you didn't pay too much of your person, for this information…"

Christina's cheeks take a nice shade of crimson, while everyone starts teasing her about it. "We'll talk about this later on Tina" says Zeke "You're not done with it!"

I go on with a little more convincing tone. "We found out that the Fort Sheridan, north from Chicago is an old military base that stands near the shore on a very big site: at least 200 acres. The fort has a water tower that could be the one we spotted, on the sole outside picture that we have. Here is the compound." I open the survey map to show them the place. "We'll need to get a picture of the tower to be sure, and we'll be looking for a detailed plan of the compound if possible."

I stop. "Besides this, we don't have much. No name or indication of any sort about who could be behind all this or who pays for the expenses. We also know that Adam wears a tracker and has probably received a lot of simulation serum." I see Matthew opening his mouth, his eyes on Tris and I tell him a silent "No". I can't let her know yet she's tracked too.

Tris seems to be lost in thoughts when she suddenly gets up and says "Let's make a list and share the things to do between us:" She grabs a pen and paper to write down at the same time, and I feel a jolt of pride, just like when I think back to her first jump.

1\. "Find a picture of the Tower. I'll go tomorrow" she says

2\. "If it is the right place, we need to go there and spy for a few days, in order to know how the place is protected and how we could get in and out." Zeke shouts "I can do this! I'm patrolling a lot anyway, and I guess I can find an excuse to be there if they ever notice me." Thank you says Tris. She goes on,

3\. "Find a detailed plan of the compound. That must be for you Four, none of us could get the required accreditation. Maybe you can put this on you housing research project?" she asks. I nod.

4\. "Find weapons and equipment: explosives, a safe communication device and any tools we'll need."

George takes this part, along with Amar, as they have access to important equipment stocks for their work and can borrow it for exercises, without raising questions.

5\. I add "Get an electromagnetic detector to find the tracker and something to destroy her I think an electromagnetic pulse will do)."

Tris looks at me with something in her eyes, that I take for admiration. I can't help smiling. No one seems to know how to get that kind of things. They're not in use in the police, it's a lab device. I know what I should do, but I can't voice it. I hate this, but I think I will have to turn to Caleb, though I don't trust him. I must find a way to have him helping us, without telling him everything.

6\. "Maybe we would need a spy too…" Tris asks wondering.

"That would need to be someone that is not connected directly with us." I say. "Let's wait for this one."

"Or someone very well disguised." Says Christina "I wonder… No." she shakes her head.

"Why not go and have a look at it right now? This would be a good way to know if it's the right place" says Zeke "Let's have a muffin picnic in that forest!" He adds pointing at the green area on the map.

"Yes, let's go now!' says Christina, "if we're right, we can go on planning tonight."

And half an hour later all of us pile in 3 different cars for a very peculiar country ride.


	11. Chapter 11 : A day in the country

**11\. Four : A day in the country**

I can't believe it's true. We found it. From the Sheridan road, all of us had a clear view of the top of the tower with its tiled roof. It looks like the picture: I'm sure it is the same.

I stopped the car at a little distance, when we had the first glimpse of the roof. Everyone in the car was dead silent. Tris just gave me an intense look and left her hand on mine for a minute. We've never been closer from our goal.

We all stop in the forest, where we meet some other families playing and walking around. Under the cover of a family and friends leisure day, some of us try to get more information about the compound: number of entrances, walls, hedges and groves, grids... It is definitely huge, but the external part of the area do not seem to be under surveillance, nor even in use, by the look of some of the buildings. I make note of everything . We suppose, it is a way not to draw attention. We may find guards and fences if we get in, but we can't do that now. I make a note to come at night for a closer visit, with a map of the compound to take notes.

After a short walk, most of us go for a little ball game. Amar, Christina and I confront Zeke, Tris and George. Mathew seems to be lost in his thoughts and Evelyn is showing flowers and trees to Natalie. We win easily of course, but Tris pretends the game was unfair because her hip is still a little stiff. Who can believe they should have had an extra player to match us? We all get a good laugh, and Zeke suggests we should also have a look at the shore to find out if it is guarded too. Finally, we decide to get back because it's getting chilly, and we don't want to attract anyone's attention by walking all around in daylight, especially with Natalie with us.

Once we get home, Evelyn takes Natalie to have a bath and everyone starts talking about what our next move should be.

George starts, half talking to me and half to Amar "I think we should start sneaking weapons and equipment out slowly from now on, this way, no one would notice too much what we take. I believe if we want to plan a few evening watches in the next week, we will need night-vision binoculars, cameras and I'd better find us bullet-proof jackets, just in case."

I go "I think I could get the plans by Wednesday, if I can see Johanna on Monday to have the accreditation. It will take a little time, because I will need to order for a large number of plans to avoid raising suspicion, about what I'm really looking for. So let's plan our first raid on Thursday evening OK? Can you get equipment for 4 people by Thursday?"

"No problem." Says Georges, "Amar, Zeke and I already have most of it so there's not much more to get really."

"Why only four people?" asks Christina.

I reply "You're not invited girls."

"And why not?" says Tris. I hear she's angry from the tone of her voice, sounding like ice.

"We need to keep some of our forces, in case we have a problem, and besides, I don't want you hurt if we need to run." I fear that she will argue about this and I don't want to. Not in front of our friends…she promised, she would rely on me. I look at her, my eyes pleading. I still can't reveal she's got the tracker on her.

"OK for this time" she says, "But don't think I'll stay here waiting for you in angst all the time."

I don't see why I shouldn't let them all go now, and I think Tris and I need to talk together, when Matthew says suddenly "I can be the spy." Each of us stops chatting, and looks at him in astonishment.

Tris replies sounding worried "That sounds risky to me Matt. You've been helping me all long since David shot me. Not that I think you're a bad actor, but how on earth will you make them believe that you turned tail? I don't want you to play with your life."

"I have an idea to get in and possibly work with them…" says Matthew" I just need to give them something valuable as a token, and I think I know what could do." And pointing at Tris and I "But I'll need both of you to agree for that. We should speak about it later in private, and that will depend on you. I'm ready to do it but maybe you won't." I have a bad feeling about this, and I see in Tris's eyes that she feels the same.

The air is tensed and I try to find something to say. "Thank you Matthew, we will talk with you about it later, then. So guys, I believe there's nothing else we can do today, and some of you have a life to live. Let's start from here at 10PM on Thursday; George, you let me know if you've got everything."

**Sorry Guys if this feels long, but I need to prepare what's coming next. At some point all this is going somewhere I promise.**

**T64t**


	12. Chapter 12 : How much is it?

**12\. Tris :How much is it?**

When everyone is gone, we ask Matthew to stay until Natalie is gone to bed, and he agrees to stay for dinner, while Evelyn leaves us. As she goes through the door I take her hand, and say "Thank you. for everything." She gives me a little smile but I'd swear she is about to faint from pleasure.

After dinner, we take Natalie to bed and she insists on having a fairytale again. When I kiss her she asks "Do you think that will help if I wish upon a star that you'll find Adam?" I feel tears filling my eyes and say "Yes darling, I think that might help us a lot. If you see Adam when you're asleep, tell him we love him, OK?" She nods and gives me a hug.

"So, what did you want to tell us about your plan?" asks Four. "Maybe you should both sit down" says Matthew. Don't know why my heart stops beating.

"Do you know what Pluripotent cells are?" he asks. Actually, we don't.

"Pluripotent cells have the property to be able to give rise to all of the cell types that make up the body. And embryonic stem cells-that means they develop in the first days after fecundation - are considered pluripotent." None of us understands what this is about.

"What it means, is that a little amount of those cells can be worth more, than having an actual person to work on DNA research."

My hand reaches Four's and my fear grows a name. But Matt goes on "I believe whoever took Adam for research on him would kill for an embryo having the genetic material they need. I've read about this, it has been done before with much success."

Matthew seems uncomfortable when he says "If you would agree to give me _raw material_ \- that means one or two embryos made up with In vitro fertilization, I'm sure I could get to integrate their research team, and I actually believe we could make valuable research on it.

I shiver. I see Jeanine Mathews ghost around, sacrificing people to her needs.

"I would also need a contact, to be able to pass messages on to you." Adds Matthew. "I think Christina could do, it if she pretends to be my girlfriend. I could get to see her quite frequently, without raising suspicion."

Both of us stare at him silent.

"What do you say?" asks Matthew awkwardly.

I reply "I don't know yet, but in case we do what you suggest, what tells us they won't grow a baby from the embryos?"

Matthew shakes his head no "No chance. If they want to get any pluripotent cell, it will destroy the embryo's capacity to develop as a fetus. If you want to be sure, just give them one, they won't have any choice."

"Thank you Matthew." says Four, quite shaken. "I think we will need a little time to think over you idea. Why not go home and we call you when we have decided something OK?

"OK" he replies. "See you guys."

Once Matthew's gone, we sit back on the couch and try to pull ourselves up. What Matthew suggests, is to actually give those monsters a very piece of our lives. I don't know what to say.

"What do you think?" says Four, "I'm completely lost."

"I'm not sure" I say. "I don't like it and it's very dangerous for Matt. I also want to get Adam back. Every day that goes, he suffers more, maybe Matthew could help him if he was inside. I don't want them to break him beyond repair. He's our son, and I think I would do anything, or I won't live anymore."

Four looks at me deeply. "If you believe we should do it, I'll trust you. We don't need to speak all night about it, that's settled then. We should go and sleep a little.

I stop him. "No. Before, you tell me why you don't want me to go with you to the fort?" I ask quite roughly.

"I told you, it's too dangerous with your hip and… if anything happens, Natalie will need at least one of us."

"You're not a good liar Tobias," I say ice cold, using his name on purpose "What is it you don't tell me?"

"Okay." He answers. "I discovered that Natalie and you got a tracker somewhere in your body. Adam does too. As long as it is active, you can't get into the compound without their knowing it. I haven't got any EMP to destroy it yet, I'm sorry."

"Did you know this afternoon when we got around the fort?"

"Yes" he answers looking at his toes.

"Then, why did you let us come with you then?"

"I thought they did not trace you at the moment, because they didn't know we're after us, but that won't last after this afternoon's walk."

"How could you? What if they understand what's going on and move Adam somewhere else? How long have you been lying to me?"

"I'm sorry," he says "I tried to protect you, I wanted to tell you when I'd found the device to get rid of these trackers, because I knew you would take it bad. Please believe me."

"I don't want it!" I say. "I don't want you pity, I don't want to be the poor thing you're nursing every day. You promised me you wouldn't do it again! You liar!"

I'm crying of rage and despair. He lied to me again…he betrayed me too. I'm out of breath and I want him away. I want to feel free. I run out of the room, go to the spare room and lock myself in and open the window. I put music on, headphones on my ears at maximum level. I want to dive into my anger, I need noise not to yell from pain.

I sit down on the floor and cry, head in my hands. I feel trapped. I feel trapped in his love, I feel trapped in this life and I'm drowning. Natalie has been the rope that tied me to life for 3 years, and now, she's like a heavy chain that keeps me from walking on. Tobias used to make me strong and he's making me feel weak. My world's turning upside down and I'm full of rage.

My head's pounding because of the music level. The song says that our time is running out **[AN Muse]** and that's exactly how I feel. I need, time to pull myself up and find a way to get out of it. I know what I need to do for that. I unlock the door and Four's sitting on the doorstep. I walk past him. I don't want to speak to him and I pull myself out of his grip when he tries to stop me. I guess he's asking me something and I see him crying. But right now I don't care. My pain and my anger are all that matters to me right now.

I get out of the apartment running. I run like mad, I run like I haven't in the past 4 years. When I get at Millenium park, I stop in the chilly night and fall on my knees. It's quite dark but there are still lights near the benches. The wheel though, is completely hidden in the dark.

I remember the game night and our ascension together. I take a deep breath and start climbing. As I go higher on the wheel I feel back his hand on my skin for the first time, and the higher I get, the stronger I feel. I stop in the middle because I don't really want to fall again when I descend and just for this moment I feel free. I feel myself. I feel powerful. I want to make it last, to be able to remember it when I'll need.

It's about 1 AM when I get back home. Four got asleep, curled up on the couch. I try not to wake him up but he's been waiting for me. He stands up and takes my hand when I approach the couch, but says nothing. Had he spoken, maybe we would have gone arguing again. Instead I go to our bedroom with his hand still holding mine. We sit on the bed and I look at him. I like his eyes like two pools of deep fresh water. Maybe that's the healing I need. I start kissing him, my hands in his hair.

As he pulls me closer I can smell his scent with a little mint fragrance. He kisses me back very gently and his lips go down to my neck and breast. We both roll on the bed and my hands start running in his back. I feel his breath on my skin, and I shiver when he kisses the blue bids tattooed near my heart. I take his shirt off and stroke his chest, … "I'm sorry" I whisper in a kiss. "I know" he answers pulling my clothes off too.

His kisses are salted like tears and feel I'm sweaty but no one cares… and nothing else matters that just the two of us being one again.


	13. Chapter 13 : Ghosts

**13\. Tris : Ghosts**

We've had such a rough day that we're still asleep when Natalie enters our bedroom crying loudly. I take her in my arms and start rocking her. "Hey Nat' that's okay, Mum is here. Did you have a nightmare?" She nods. "Tell mummy, what happened?" I start humming a lullaby.

"It was a..A…dam," she starts, sobbing. "He was a…fraid. The man was shou…ting at him. He was very angry about his schoolwork. He slapped him with his belt. Mum it hurt me too." She says curling on my chest.

"Don't worry darling, he can't hurt you anymore." I try to sound comforting but my stomach clenches.

Four jumps in the bed. He grabs Natalie's arm and I think we just had the same idea. "Did you know the man honey? Did you hear his name." he asks.

"No." she says "I don't know him but the lady called him Marcus."

I give a desperate look to Four and I see him looking panicked for a second. Then he pulls himself up and looks at Natalie in the eyes and say "If he ever comes back, just call for me and I'll get him away OK? I've done this many times, I know what to do. He won't harm you." She gives us a little smile.

I say "Why not get up and have a very big breakfast, say…with pancakes?" I try to sound cheerful. Natalie is fond of pancakes. "Yes! Yes!" she answers jumping on the bed.

When we're at breakfast I ask Natalie "Who was the lady in your dream honey? Do you know her? "The man called her Zoe." she answers. OK this is actually a nightmare. That man I hate, that monster, he did not suffice for him to destroy his own son, he had to do the same to his grandson. And one by one, all my old enemies seem to get out from of the closet I had locked them into with the memory serum. I'm going to wake up soon, this is impossible.

I see that Four is thinking hard, and he really looks frightened. I suppose I would too if my worst fear came back to life again after I believed I killed it. I wonder If Jeanine or Eric are about to come and haunt me too.

I have to tell him. "You know, maybe we must think over it again Tobias, I mean Matthew's suggestion of the embryo. Maybe this won't go the way we want. What if they find a way to keep the embryo to become a child? If it is Marcus behind all this, I'm really scared about what he could do."

He looks like frozen, but he says keeping his voice low because of Natalie "I'll kill him. If he does any harm again to someone I love, I'll kill him."

"May be we should ask for Johanna's help and stop all this?" I ask. "No" says Four "I don't want our life to become some sort of political issue, nor I want Adam' suffering exposed to everyone. I know how it feels and he's not 5 yet! God knows what they taught him." Johanna is a ruler, she would be able to use this story, whatever comes to us, if she believed it is for every one's good. She's not cruel, but she's a bit like my father in this.

"Do you think he knows what a mother and a father are?" I ask wondering "I'm a little afraid of what will happen if we manage to get home with him. What if he's wild or scared of us? I don't trust myself anymore for family life you know. I blow up every time it gets too hard. I was wrong when I told you that was easy."

He looks at me with his piercing blue eyes. "No. You weren't wrong. Maybe it's not easy, but it's damn worth it."

He takes my hand "We'll get our son back and we'll do fine. I believe in you. If he's like I was, all he needs is love, and you've got plenty."


	14. Chapter 14 : A night's walk

**14\. Four : A night's walk**

I had to wait until Tuesday afternoon to get the accreditation for the building plans area. Johanna had me filling about 6 different forms for it, and each set of plans you order is another form, to keep a record of what's been copied by the staff members. They said it's just in case the plans are spoiled or destroyed. I begin to think this is actually a good idea to make proper housing outside the city, but we would need to repair the train lines too, and that's a big job.

I prepared carefully my list of request not to draw attention on the Fort Sheridan plans I really want to. I order only plans for big buildings or compounds that could actually be renovated as housing areas: Northeastern Illinois University, Evanston Campus, Indiana Dabney University, Oak Forest Health Center, Chicago Midway International Airport… and of course Fort Sheridan.

On Wednesday afternoon, all the copies wait ready on my desk. I take them all home to study the fort ones properly without curious looks around.

Before leaving, I discreetly make several copies of the main view and central part of the fort, so we can write on it what we're going to find.

It's very dark tonight. That is good for camouflage but it will not help us to find our way around the fort.

I decided we should make shifts of 2, I don't want us to be vulnerable. I team with Zeke and George goes with Amar, so there's one cop in each group. We don't intent to get caught but you never know.

I spotted on the plan that there is only on main entrance to the fort on Sheridan Road. I suppose the secret part of the compound, is more or less at the centre. The map has allowed us to find exactly where the tower is. It stands between Whistler road and Leonard Wood av. That's where we're heading for tonight.

We all dressed in black and George got night view binoculars for everyone. It made me shiver to hold a gun again, I thought I wouldn't need this again, but I was surprised to feel I liked it. I actually like the powerful feeling the weapons give you. That's scary though.

When we get there, It's nearly 11PM. George parks the car in Old Elm street, on the opposite side of Sheridan road, not to drive attention on us. Anyway, there are no lights lit around here and the seldom houses are blind. We enter Simon's way together as I plan to separate at next road with one team going to the shore to see if we can escape this way. I chose to go and see the buildings with Zeke.

We don't walk on the road too openly, because, as we get near the center, I start to spot some lit housings and we have glimpses of people moving around. When we reach closer from Leonard Wood avenue, we come across a barrier with a guard's cabin. Think we found it whispers Zeke. I nod and give sign to George to go further to have a look to the shore. Zeke and I are trying the make a circle walk around the security area, to check how many guarded posts they have and who's guarding them.

It happens that only the barracks where the tower stands seem to be in use, even if the checkpoint has been installed at a distance from it. I suppose they keep the other areas protected to store material or vehicles. We count 4 check points with 2 guards with guns for each, and I get to know why they needed the tower. As we get closer I can see the watching platform that has been installed on top with 2 other guards and one of those very big army spots.

When we meet back with George and Amar, it happens we have enough information at the moment. As we need to get back before dawn, we leave at 2.30 AM, just after what seems to be the night's shift. The guards leave in turn at each checkpoint with a 10 minutes gap in between.

On the way home, I think about tomorrow. We took a day off with Tris to go to the IVF clinic. Now we're here I'm not so sure about it anymore. Christina agreed to Matthew's idea, therefore he plans to go to the compound next week with his token of allegiance. I feel it's a bit of a rush but on the other hand I don't want Adam to stay too long in there, now I know my father's torturing him like he did to me. I'm a little scared for Matt too, he's not to stand against my father if it comes to this.

Hope that Tris will be brave for us both.

I suppose we all feel relieved when we get back home. As we enter, we see Tris half asleep on the couch and I know she's been trying to wait for us to come back. When the guys are gone I take her to the bedroom and she barely opens her eyes.


	15. Chapter 15 : Done

**15\. Tris : Done  
**

I feel tensed when we leave the clinic on Friday. It is just as if I had abandoned a piece of myself that would actually live a wild life of its own. That is very weird. We go for a walk in the Millennium park with Four, on the way home. We don't feel like talking about it because we feel so uncomfortable with our decision. What if this is the biggest mistake of our lives and they just kill Matt after getting what they want. I could not live with it.

"I think we should prepare for our next move" I say, to think about something else "I f we want to get in, we must be ready when time comes. You know that we will need more than guns, and I have to get rid of the tracker."

"We have time. We don't even know if they will let Matthew in at all!"

"If he goes on Monday as planned, we will wait for 2 days before getting further. Then we will need Caleb, and probably Cara too. We'll need special serums and a device that can generate an Electromagnetic Pulse interference to destroy the trackers."

"I don't trust Caleb and, you know he hates me…." He answers.

"Maybe it's because you broke his nose last year…" I suggest with a grin

It was about one year ago, when I asked Four to go and tell Caleb that I was alive. I should have known that Caleb would not take it so easily. Once at home, Caleb got angry that I didn't tell him first I was alive I'm not sure if he was just jealous, or just angry that I had left him waiting for 3 years with his grief and guilt. I believe he suffered a lot too. Four told him that he was ruining it all, and ended in telling him that without his weakness, I would never have been in the lab in the first place. Caleb's pride led him to insult Four rather crudely, who answered by punching him in the nose. Caleb went away with broken nose and hardly spoke to Four at all after that, even on our wedding day.

I get a phone call from time to time, just to check if I didn't blow myself up I guess. I think there's more though because he never forgets Natalie's birthday. The problem is, that he gives her some big science books every year, which she might be able to read when she'll be in high school...but he cares.

I must go on with my idea "I know we haven't seen him since our wedding, but he's trying to change, and he is all the family I've got. Maybe this could help him getting rid of his stupid guilt. I did what I had to do. This was my choice and he is not to blame. You too, should move on Four." I will call him tomorrow.

"No." He answers "We need to know if Matthew's plan in working first. Wait till next Friday, before you tell ."

We go on walking silently hand in hand for a while and stop on a lonely bench. The spring sun shines on us and we close our eyes; time seems to stop just for us. We get back just on time to pick up Natalie at school.


	16. Chapter 16 : Getting in

**16\. Four : Getting in**

This is the very day. We made a hard choice and we're about to know if it was worth doing it. I will follow Matthew a little behind, just to know if he gets in all right. After that, we will need him to be clever and a great deal of luck. I park on the other side on the road and I approach the compound on foot.

I follow him down the entrance lane, to the first checkpoint on whistler road.

As I see his car at the gate, my heart stops beating. What if they did not let him pass at all? May be we should have hidden a gun somewhere in the car? Tris didn't want to because she said they would surely notice it, and we couldn't risk it.

I'm holding my gun hard in my hand, ready to shoot if things start going wrong. Tris is right, we need Caleb. When we attack, we need to have other kind of weapons that just guns, otherwise we won't have any choice but to shoot everybody. I don't want to be a murderer. I suppose the best would be some peace serum or maybe something to knock everyone out for like an hour.

I don't know what he is telling them to get in. I should have asked him; that makes me mad.

I wait for what seems ages to me; Matthew's car has stopped completely now and one guard is waiting near the window his gun ready, when he is still seated inside. I have seen one of the guards, leaving to one the barracks I suppose; that must be good sign. Finally I see the guard coming back and the gate opens.

I feel relieved, and terrified at the same time. Maybe I won't see Matt again…I'm like on the edge of a cliff and I'm about to fall. I just don't know what's at the bottom.


	17. Chapter 17 : Caleb

**17\. Tris : Caleb**

I stand in the street in front of the lab, and I feel uncomfortable and worried. What if he didn't want to help? I don't know what Caleb really feels. We had never been really close when we were kids, he tried to kill me, and somehow, he feels guilty that I went into the lab instead of him. I never really know what he is thinking, and maybe he hates us, just as Four thinks…And I'm about to ask him for some help that could put his life in danger.

The first employees start going out. Some of them still wear the Erudite's blue clothing and useless glasses. I haven't seen Caleb for a while and I don't really know how he feels about me, and my having a new family. I didn't get to speak a lot with him, because we have never been the two of us alone to speak freely. I was surprised that he didn't seem to have any friends, not to speak about having a girlfriend. Maybe the war and what we had to go through, deprived him for his loving capacity….No, he loves Natalie, so there must be some hope.

I spot him among a bunch of blue dressed men and women. He looks intently concentrated on something. I cross the street to come closer to him. No need to drive attention on me, by yelling at him.

"Hi Caleb" I say, when I arrive next to him. He stops puzzled. "Hi". I go on before letting him time to answer. "May I talk to you please? It's very important. Can we go to some quiet place?" He seems more puzzled ever.

"There's a small park after next block; we can have a walk there." He suddenly looks a little worried. "Is it serious, someone's ill?"

"I should say it is, yes. But we're all in good health." I reply, trying to avoid his gaze. I don't want to flinch now, but I don't really know what to say to make him risk his life for us.

We sit down on 2 of the metal chairs that stand near the pool. There are people around but most of them a playing with their kids or speaking loudly with friends. We take the 2 chairs in a quiet lane and I start.

"Caleb, I need your help. We discovered that Natalie had a twin brother. He was stolen to me immediately after they were born, by someone who's experimenting on him in a secret research lab, not very far from here. Four and I are preparing to get there and take him back and we will need your help."

I pause, waiting for his answer. He seems lost in his thoughts for a second and says "I owe you Tris, I helped someone killing you, and I wasn't brave enough to get into the lab in the end. I feel useless but I'll do what I can to help."

I put my hand on his arm and I feel him shiver "It's not what I mean; I did not come for that reason. You're not useless. You don't have to repay me for anything. This lab attack was a big mistake anyway. I need your help, because you're my brother and I trust you, and because you're brilliant of course." I smile at him. "Do it only if you want it. This could cost your life if you get caught."

"Does the boy have a name?" Asks Caleb. "They named him Adam." I answer.

"I'll do it for him then. Maybe I could be friends with him?"

I smile at him "I can't write down anything so you'll need to memorize it. I will tell you only what you need to know, just in case anyone suspects you. Do you think you could provide us with a peace serum as a spray? Let's say it's for about 100 people but in different rooms so share it in 10 bottles that can be easily opened. And we'll need to immunize ourselves against it too.

"No problem for that. I have the formulas ready, but I'll need to put it small sprays if you want to be able to hide them on you. What else?"

"Would you have a spray serum that could knock someone out for about two hours?"

He nods. "How many doses?"

"Let's go for 5 sprays of 10" I say.

"Four says we need a very small electromagnetic pulse bomb to deactivate trackers. The smallest the better. I'll need to keep this on me."

"I think I can build one, but it will take one or two weeks."

"That should do then. I can't linger on for too long. Come for dinner on Friday in 2 weeks time and bring everything in your car but leave it in until we're ready to take it. OK?" I see him frowning. "I promise Four won't touch you. Jeez you're so touchy you guys."

I give him a kiss on the cheek and whisper in his ear "Tank you Caleb."


	18. Chapter 18 : The attack 1

**18\. Four : The attack 1  
**

We stick the sprays in our belts and put our bullet proof jackets on. The guards won't have sprays.

My stomach is already clenched terribly, but Tris seems to be fearless and determined. I have noticed, that she finds some extra strength to do things, when it comes to Natalie. Maybe women develop this ability when the bear their children.

I must keep my head cold, and concentrate on our mission. If it goes right, we'll be back in a few hours with Adam. We will go straight to a new place in the Fringe, to stay hidden for a while. Evelyn is already there with Natalie. I just hope we got everything right about the security and places.

Once Matt got in, we started making visits to the compound nearly every 2 or 3 days, in order to make notes about the guard's shifts as fast as possible. We didn't know how long Matthew's cover would hold, so we needed to be fast. We found out that they had longer watches on Saturday, probably because they are not as many as in weekdays. That's why we thought it to be the best day to attack: they might be more vulnerable, especially between 2 and 3AM by the end of the watch.

It's been 3 weeks already, since Christina accepted to disguise as Matthew's girlfriend to pass us information. She cut her hair very short and dyed it blonde. She also wears some of the Erudite's glasses that do nothing, but giving you a serious look. Tris and I had a difficult time recognizing her at first. She also had a brilliant idea to complete our internal plan of the compound. She printed the map inside a coat lining and each time she got to see Matthew, they drew on it all the details we needed. She gave us good news after the first week – that felt like one month. Matthew had been accepted in the research team quite easily. I suppose they were interested in the pluripotent cells enough. He was actually really working on a research in this lab. She says he found something promising for all of us that could end this for good.

Each of us knows what to do. I'm just scared that I could not oblige Tris to stay at a safe place. She insisted to get in herself to find Adam. She says he might feel she's her mother. Maybe this can help, but I'm terrified. I don't want to feel that pain again. My only hope is that whatever happens, they might prefer her alive.


	19. Chapter 19 : The attack 2

**19\. Four : The attack 2**

It's 1.00 when we get there. I'm in the dark car we borrowed, along with Tris and Zeke. Amar and George will circle round the different checkpoints to neutralize the guards with the sleep serum Caleb gave us. After that they'll prepare the boat we have take as a B plan of escape by sea if we are unable to take the car back.

I get to break the security and Zeke will try to neutralize every one inside with Tris while she gets to room B105, where they hold Adam.

I check the equipment once again, guns, sprays of serum, wires, locksmith kit…and it's time to go.

I let Zeke go first and I can't help taking Tris by the shoulders and turn her to face myself. "Please be careful." I take her face in my hands and kiss her. "I love you. Come back with him. OK?"

"I won't die again, I promise." She says stroking my cheek. Then we put our hoods on and become shadows.

We're walking slowly along the lane but we take care to stay on the side where it's darker. Georges sneaked real camouflage outfits, which make wonders. They won't recognize us at all.

I don't notice anything different from all our former raids, so I believe they did not change anything, which is good news. I've been hoping that they didn't notice anything, during our last week's visits.

We progress slowly but I can see the gate. As we come closer we jump down in the grass and crawl to approach, without letting the guards see us. I check my gun, In case the spray does not work.

Then I give Zeke the signal to knock them out simultaneously. We jump face to face from each guard and spray them right in the face before they even reach their gun. Both of them fall on the floor like puppets cut from their strings. Zeke and I pull the guys inside the small wooden cabin, where we tie them up, undress quickly from our black clothes and put their uniforms on. We also take their guns. That will help for what we need to do inside.

I keep an eye on the tower watch before we move on to the building. Zeke will climb up to knock the guards on top of it before getting in. We need the path to be clear when we get out.

I don't wait for him, and give Tris the sign to join me in the cabin. I make a pass in front of the gate with the gun to deceive the top of tower guards. I have to wait until the tower becomes blind to get inside or they'll raise the alarm that the gate is not guarded anymore. Amar and George wait for the same at one of the other gates. I hope they'll be able to knock the 6 guards left, quickly.

Here it is : 4 flashes of light, the tower is now completely blind as Zeke destroyed the spot too. We can go on. I give a nod to Tris and she answers to me with the same. From now on, we'll go separately in the building and I have to go first.

As we walk towards the barracks, my hand brushes against Tris's. I press her fingers and we separate in the hall. I remind her silently to wait at least 25 minutes before doing anything openly in the corridors.

I soon as I get in, I start spraying the peace serum in the corridor. We all have been immunized by Caleb to the peace serum just before we started, but it will only last up to 8 hours. Anyway, we should be gone long before that.

I've learned by heart what I need to do now. I go straight to the control room which is actually in the basement. I have to deactivate the whole system without their knowing it.

The barracks are a very big building but only a small part of it has been refurbished into labs and test rooms, dining hall, offices…that's easier for me, especially at that time when people are in the housings rather than at work. I find the door and prepare the KO and peace serums.

I open the door slightly and check: only 2 people in. I release some of the peace serum first and as I approach the two technicians from behind, I spray a good deal of sleeping serum in their noses. I hope this thing doesn't kill if overdosed.

I have a quick look at the screens. It looks pretty much the same as the ones we used back at dauntless headquarters. I know how to put the last footage on a circle replay. When I'm done I check my watch: 21 minutes gone. I'm on time for Tris to go.

I kept the camera in Adam's corridor active, just in case I need to see what happens, but I turned the screen off. Now, I just have to wait.


	20. Chapter 20 : Adam

**20\. Tris : Adam**

I try to think about something to calm down, while I count the 25 minutes we agreed on, I decide I'd better wait outside not to be noticed. As I get out, I can Zeke coming back from the Tower, and taking back his place as a guard to the main gate. I hope that'll be enough to deceive anyone passing by.

My heart is racing as the time to get in approaches. I realize I fear most Adam's reactions, than being actually caught or hurt.

Time!

I sneak back into the building hall and look for the stairs to the basement levels. Let's hope Matthew's information was accurate. No one's patrolling the corridors and somehow, I have the feeling of this being a little too easy. I know they have lower surveillance on Saturdays but I start to wonder where the guards are.

As I arrive downstairs though, I notice that the security level is higher, as the main corridor on my left is closed by a gate that goes up to the ceiling. There's a guard in front of it and I can't approach without him seeing me. I decide to throw a bottle of the peace serum first, to avoid him doing anything violent when I will come closer. The serum seems to be effective because when I approach, the guard is trying to talk to me but does not even manage to speak proper words, just as if he was drunk. I spray a good dose of the sleep serum right in his face and he just falls asleep.

I start looking for his keys, trying to do it as silently as possible, but I'm trembling a little. I'm still watching around me, in case someone would have overheard anything. I take a few deep breaths, to pull myself back. OK, under control again. I get in. The doors around me are labeled B51 and B52, I must go on. I nearly run to the door number B105, but at the next right turn to the corridor which leads to the 100's, I stop, because I spotted a grey silhouette at the door. This time I use a bottle of the sleep serum straight away, because I don't want to lose more time.

I push the sleeping guard on the side, and look for the right key. I notice that all the doors open with some kind of pass. I think I'll need to keep one of these just with me on the way out; just in case.

I push the door open and I'm stuck here. Here he is, sleeping. The room is dimly lit with only a small emergency light. I can hardly see him so I approach closer. I try not to cry, there's no time for it. The room is small with a bed, a chair in the corner and a table with another chair in front of it. There's also a cupboard and a small door that leads probably to the bathroom. I don't see any book, or picture, nor a single toy. I suddenly feel sad. I spot his clothes on a chair in the corner and grab them quickly. My hand is trembling when I touch him to wake him up. I'm afraid to make him disappear or maybe I'll wake up from my dream, but I don't. He doesn't so much like Natalie, though.

I stroke his cheek gently saying "Adam, wake up please." I shake him a little and he opens his eyes-Tobias's eyes in fact, like Natalie. I smile at him. "Hi. I'm Tris, don't be afraid, I came to take you back home with Natalie your sister. Marcus won't hurt you anymore." He sits down and looks frightened, but he also seems to be trying to recall something. I stroke his cheek again and hug him. "I'm your mum you know. I've been looking for you with your dad." I say, but he does not respond my hug.

"Will you get dressed and come with me?" He nods silently.

As he gets up, I notice that he is taller than Natalie, and maybe skinnier. No wonder with all the torturing they've been doing to him. I shake my head to get the thought away.

I ask "have you talked with Natalie in your dreams?" He looks at me visibly puzzled but doesn't answer. I decide to drop it; we'll have time to discuss later. We need to get out of here, before someone finds the guards I knocked out to get in.

I try to help Adam to get dressed, but he steps back when I want to touch him. We will need time…

While he is getting dressed, I decide to take the pass from the key ring and hide it discretely inside my boot, in case we have to go back through closed doors.

When Adam is ready, I turn back to the door and check outside. The corridor seems clear of living soul. I take him by the hand without thinking, and I immediately feel him stiffen. I turn to him and kneel to look into his eyes "I won't hurt you, trust me. We're going home. OK?." He nods again. This feels strange. I wish he would say something to me. I take back his hand, check the corridor again and we go out.

I don't want to run, but I walk fast, I want to get out of here, as soon as possible. Adam keeps up easily, with me… 25 meters left to the gate…I suddenly stop, and take my gun in my back, hand on o the trigger. I heard voices. Just facing us, is a bunch of guards, I count 5 of them but I don't have time for the sleep serum. I decide to take the chance that they want us alive and run.

I turn back in panic and… here's Marcus at the end of the corridor, walking fast towards me followed by 3 guards, with a gun in his hand. I lift my gun and…I just can't pull the trigger. I'm not trembling but I can't shoot Marcus under the very eyes of Adam. I'm his mother, not a murderer.

He is just in front of me now, my stomach clenches. "Nice to see you again Beatrice, I was waiting for you." He says with a grin "You lost a bit of your reflexes" he adds, taking my gun from my hand. "I see you've met Adam." He grabs Adam's other hand and I realize I did not let his hand go since we got out of the room. He leans to Adam and says "You did very well Adam; just as I taught you. You've been a good boy. You can go back to sleep now."

I feel desperate and confused. How could they know? I try desperately to keep Adam near me. I kneel and take him in my arms "No." I say. "Leave him to me. Please." I feel tears welling up to my eyes.

"Don't worry." says Marcus with a twisted smile "You'll get the cell next to him."

And he takes my son from me.


	21. Chapter 21 : Home

**21\. Tobias : Home  
**

I can't stand it, I have to watch. I stopped the recording first, so there's no harm in watching now... I count 15 minutes, and turn the screens on. One shows the corridor where Adam's room is located and the other camera is right in the room. There's no sound so I can't hear what Tris is saying to the boy. I try to zoom a little to be sure it's him, because the images are not very clear. I'm so tensed that I start squeeze the arm of the chair like mad. I watch them getting out and I feel relieved. So far, so good.

And then, It's hell. I see the guards and Marcus coming in, and catch them both. I have to watch powerless, Adam and Tris disappear in what I believe to be cells. I can't hear but I see she's yelling something at them when they take Adam back into his cell.

I'm panicking now. I must think fast. I check the time. There's no way I can get them out on my own, in the time I have left. Maybe they're coming to me right now. I have to leave before they start searching for the people who are helping Tris. I'll find a way to get them back but that won't do if I'm stuck in too. I leave the room and dart to the entrance as fast as I can. No one seems to look for us at the moment, so I join Zeke as if I was coming back to my post. I try not to look as tensed as I really am.

As soon as I reach the gate I whisper "Tris got caught, we must leave now." I see his desperate gaze to me and I clench my fists not to cry from rage. I use my beeper to give George the emergency signal, to leave as soon as possible.

We walk for a while down the lane, and as soon as we turn the corner, we start running. When we get to the car, we start immediately without waiting for them. We'll meet in the Fringe's house, where Evelyn is waiting for us with Natalie.

Zeke says "Give me the keys, I'll drive us back OK?" I suppose he noticed how bad I am. That's a good idea actually, because I can't really concentrate on anything, as I'm still focused on what just happened in the compound. I put my head in my hands, and watch the scenes of the evening in my head like a movie, hoping to find out what went wrong.

Zeke drives, silent. I see that he takes care to take the direction of our apartment, before he changes the itinerary when he is sure no one follows us.

I heard no alarm of any sort. No one shouted and they didn't even check the control room. This is weird; it was as if they had known we would come tonight. Could it be that Matthew finally betrayed us?

When we get to the house, that my mother found in the Fringe for us, I can't think straight anymore. I'm just crying from frustration and despair. I start believing, we shouldn't have destroyed Tris's tracker; maybe I could have traced it in case they move her to some other place. My only hope is that they leave her with Adam, because his tracker's still operating.

When we enter the house, I see Evelyn standing; she must have heard the car. She immediately understands that something went wrong. "What happened?" she asks turning to Zeke.

"Tris got caught." He says. "And we don't have Adam."

I leave the room. I don't know why, I need to see Natalie right now. I walk up the stairs and open the door of her new room. I feel like a relief, to see her sleeping safely here. I come near her bed and sit on the chair, where we sit every day, to read her bedtime story "I'm sorry, I whisper. I lost your mum and brother…I'm sorry Nat." I can't stroke her hair. I put my head in my hands and let the tears roll.


	22. Chapter 22 : Marcus

**22\. Tris : Marcus  
**

All I can think is "No!". This lone idea fills my body and mind "No!" I want my son back leave me with Adam. I yell "Adam…let me be with him!" It's like they're ripping a part of my own body again…his hand is gone and they're locking him back in the room.

One of the guards searches me and takes all my precious serum bottles; he also finds the knife I had stuck in my leg pocket. Then Marcus says "If you do what I say, you might see him again. We'll get to see a lot of each other Beatrice. We have so many interesting things to do." Then, he throws me violently into the next room, and locks the door. I turn back and kick the door wildly. I'm shouting like mad. I call Adam. I plead. But nothing moves. I finally fall, my back against the door, sobbing helplessly.

xxx

I wake up suddenly. I think "what the hell of a nightmare!" but when I try to move, I hurt the door I'm resting on, with my head, and my aching body reminds me that everything is real. I remember the night. This rescuing operation was a total disaster.

I look at my watch: it's 10 AM. I must've been sleeping all long on the floor. My knuckles are sticky with blood from my banging on the door. My toes and knees are awfully painful. I decide to lie on the bed to pull myself up before someone comes in. I suppose they're watching me with the camera installed on top of the door. I take my shoes off and my eyes fall on ten key I stuffed in yesterday.

I stop. This little object just lights my heart up. I can do something! I must get us out of here, and I will; in due time. I don't think they can see it with the camera, because my head hides it, I have to conceal it better. While I go to the bed, I slide the key under the inner sole of my boot, but I make it look like I'm tying the laces together. I stuff the shoes under my bed and lay myself on it with a wince of pain. I think I'll sleep again.

xxx

I wake up again, when a guard arrives with a tray of food. I realize I'm really hungry. I suppose Marcus has seen to my breakfast, as it is made of oats and an apple, like in most Abnegation homes. That man is evil. The guard also leave a pile of fresh clothes, grey Abnegation ones, of course. Got the message from Marcus: "Shut up and obey, like a good Abnegation girl."

I'm not a girl anymore and I'm so far away from Abnegation.

I explore the tiny bathroom: there's an open shower and a small basin, with a little piece of soap on the tablet and a single towel. I notice there's no mirror anywhere. I should say it's even better than Dauntless bathrooms: this one is for me alone.

I decide to get a shower, to wipe away the bad night I just had. While I'm taking my shower, I think over what happened yesterday. Marcus said he was waiting for us. That leaves only two options: either someone betrayed us, or we made some huge mistake somewhere. I try to imagine which one of our friends could have betrayed us, and I don't: they all took pretty big risks to get us in and out of here. I can't think it could be Caleb though. Maybe one of us let slip something that gave them a hint….or maybe they didn't trust Matthew at all and discovered he was passing information on to Christina. Anyway, I suppose I'll find out at some point.

I'd need the fresh clothes, but I won't make Marcus the pleasure to be his little puppet. So I put on the fresh underwear and tee-shirt, but I keep my black pants, just to let him know I won't bend that easily. I sit down on the bed to wait for what's coming next, and I try to concentrate and listen to what happens around my cell.

After a short time, the guard comes back. Marcus wants to see you he says, while taking handcuffs from his pocket. Even if I'm a prisoner, I believe Marcus still fears me; and he is probably right to. The guard leads me through many different corridors. At first, I try to count them on to be able to find my way again if needed, but I get lost quickly. I decide the compound looks much bigger than we guessed from outside. As we pass a half opened door, I get a glimpse of a training room with 2 kids fighting. They look older than Adam, but not that much. What on earth are they doing here?

But I have no time to think over it because we seem to have reached the right place. The guard lets me into a room that looks like an office. I understand we're on the ground floor. I suppose that way, no one gets the occasion to throw Marcus though the window.

Here is Marcus, sitting calmly at his desk. I feel like jumping to his throat and squeezing hard to break his neck. I feel like a murderer for a second. But my hands are handcuffed. Though he's a freaking monster, he does know human nature quite well.

"Please sit down." he says. "I suppose you would like to know how we all got here Beatrice?" he asks. "Good for you, I think I'll let you know about the whole picture. I believe it will help you take the right decisions, for once."

The coldness I feel in his voice is panicking me, but I must not let him know. Marcus is piercing me with his dark eyes, and I think that I'm going to melt.

"OK Beatrice. I suppose you've already understood that we are doing important research around here. I must admit your friend Matthew's little gift, boosted it recently." I flinch and he notices. "Surprised? You didn't believe we would trust him blindly, after he has helped you every moment since David shot you, did you?" That sounds bad. I f they distrusted Matthew, I fear what they might have discovered.

"It all started when we discovered about you being still alive and pregnant. It made it far much easier for us that you had twins. We could take one child and leave the other one with you as a reference. No scientist would dream about such good conditions of experiment."

I don't answer. I feel a bile taste in my mouth. This man is talking about my family –and his actually- like lab rats. I swear I'll destroy him. Our kids were just love, they are love.

Marcus goes on "What you have to understand is, that we aim at a higher goal. I believe Adam is the key to genetic repair for all of us. He has got your fully repaired DNA and, I suppose, the psychological strength of Tobias - assumed that he is not divergent but acts like one. On that part Matthew's research on memory and mind help us a lot too."

"This is what we are doing now. We put Adam in various life situations, either with sport, learning or with simulation serum, and we try to locate the different parts of his brain that activate, to deal with this particular situation. After that, we try to locate in his genes the sequences that induce those functions of the brain. The problem is that recently, Adam started to resist to simulations and orders. I think he's growing up like his father."

I have a vision of Marcus hitting Adam like I saw him do it in Tobias's fear landscape. I must try to forget it; I have to learn what he wants from me before.

"What I expect from you Beatrice, is your cooperation in Adam's training: you'll have the opportunity to be with him and I'll tell him you're his mother. In return, you will convince him to do what we need."

I think over it for a moment. "What if I refuse?" I ask, trying to sound determined.

"First he'll get hurt until we get what we want, and second you won't see him again." He says calmly with a grin. "We have other places to hide." And after a pause he adds "I give you 24 hours to make you decision."


	23. Chapter 23 : Questions answered

23\. Tris : Questions answered

"May I ask you questions before I leave?" I dare.

"Go ahead, I'll see if I can give you answers." answers Marcus.

"How did you know we would come yesterday?"

"You would like to know which of your precious friends gave you away…" he says thoughtful "I got a hint that you were on our track, by Johanna. She's been helping me in this for years and, at my request, she always had an eye on Tobias moves. When he started to look for some special maps in the city hall archives, she told me. From that day he has been under constant surveillance, just like you, my dear. I let you come round here, just because I wanted it."

I can't believe it. "Johanna…" I repeat. I have trusted this woman. I feel betrayed, but still relieved that he didn't say Matthew or Zeke instead.

He goes on "I gave her a fair choice at the time, when I discovered you were alive: she would ensure the city's freedom in exchange for the boy. I got my hand on a nice stock of various serums you see, and she knows it… just as our government does." I feel a chill down my spine.

"And besides, she knows that if she doesn't cooperate, her son will become part of this nice experiment. You see, she has covered some…little accidents, we've had around with the kids."

I'm suddenly scared "You said the kids…how many kids exactly are we talking about, who are they?" I ask with a trembling voice.

"They are just factionless or Fringe kids… orphans mostly. We use them as a blank experiment for the serums and some of them get to fight against Adam, or against each other." I feel sick, I force myself to ask calmly "How many are they?"

"I don't know really, I lost count but I suppose they're about 600, 80 with aptitudes for one of each faction and about 200 divergent ones." His bored tone is unbearable.

I put my hand on my mouth not to shout. I don't want to know the answer to the next question but I have to know. "You spoke about accidents. Did Adam actually kill someone? Did you let my 5 year old boy kill someone?" I ask getting up to look him right in the eyes.

"I'm afraid he has." He answers calmly. "He doesn't always know his strength you know."

I sit down, clutching the armchair not to faint, or maybe I'm going to throw up instead.

"And now I'll need to end up this nice little chat." He says. "See you in 24 hours. Try to know where you best interests are."

I spit, half crying "But what do you want in the end? You say your research will save everyone, but the next minute, you threaten to kill us all!"

He answers with a satisfied smile "I want to save us all, but I want to be the leader of it. I know that if I bring the genetic cure to the government, I'll be able to negotiate anything.

So that's what it is: just a lonely man with an addiction to power and cruelty.

**Author:**

**Sorry guys. I won't be able to update a lot next week. That's why I tried to give you something to wait with over this week-end. I'll do my best though.**


	24. Chapter 24 : Chess game begins

**24\. Tobias : Chess game begins**

What should I do?

I wake up suddenly, still curled in the chair, in Natalie's room. It's bright day outside. I must have fallen asleep here yesterday night. Fear strikes me when I see Natalie's bed empty. I shake my head…I'm getting paranoid. I get up and go downstairs to meet Evelyn and Natalie. I don't even know if the guys got home all right, I should check.

I find my mother and my daughter drawing quietly in the living room. I see no sign of anyone else. "Hello" I say "Do you know if Zeke went back all right?"

"He beeped he was OK" answers Evelyn. "How are you Tobias?" she adds coming to me.

"I've been better I guess, but I'm not sure I realized what happened." I answer.

I should not hurry to decide what to do. It is obvious that something went wrong, and maybe someone betrayed us. As long as I don't know exactly what happened, I must not do anything stupid.

First I must think about what my father is trying to do. I suppose that, if he locked Tris, it is because he needs her for something. I see two options: either he is keeping her as a hostage to keep me away from Adam of maybe he wants to experiment with both of them. Whatever it is, I can't stand it, but I need to know what my twisted father has in mind, if I want to find a way to get them back. The idea slowly takes form in my mind: I have to talk with Marcus. I will go to him, pretending that I believe I can change his mind about keeping Tris and Adam. I know him enough to know this is useless, but I guess, he stills thinks me more naïve than I am. My real purpose will be to get as much information as I can about his motives and plans. If possible, I also need to speak with Tris.

It's the only way, I know it: I have to confront Marcus. I believe in his curiosity to get in, but I won't be sure that he will actually let me get out. I have to find a way to make it safe. I spend a few hours trying various stupid ideas but none of them seems to have a chance to help. I go downstairs to the living room and I find Evelyn and Natalie watching TV. I watch the cartoon with them for a moment, and I wish I were like Natalie, unaware of what's really going on. I tried to explain to her what happened, I think she did not realize I don't know how to get Tris and Adam back. "You're very strong dad. You kill the monsters and you'll get mummy back." She just said with a smile.

I think, that if my life was just a movie… and then, I know how to oblige Marcus to let me out after I meet her. Or at least I hope so: I must record our meeting and send the images outside the compound to someone who records them. That will be my insurance policy. I have to give a call to Zeke. I'll need his help again; he's the only one who can help me find a way to do this quick and safe. I check for my gun too, I won't be unaware again.

xxx

I go to Zeke and Shauna with Natalie. She likes playing with Alice, their daughter. The girls get along very well, even if Natalie is clearly directing Alice in anything they do like a puppet on a string. Bu I start to believe Alice quite likes it. I'm concerned though as I don't want Natalie to become a little dictator like my beloved father… I know I'm exaggerating it a bit, but these last days I've dreamed myself becoming my father more than often. I realize I didn't tell Tris about that new evolution of my fear. Maybe it doesn't matter anymore.

While the girls play together with Shauna, I try with Zeke, to find a way to record what will happen when I'll see Marcus. After half an hour, we come to the conclusion, that there's no way I can record anything, if we are inside the Fort Sheridan compound. I noticed nearly every camera I came across when I was there –my old habit again- but the footage will not be accessed from the outside, and it's not a good idea to sneak inside again, and try doing it from the main control room.

That's why I need to get Marcus to meet me in a chosen place, but where. I think about the place that I know best and already have cameras. The Dauntless' headquarters would be good because I know every camera in there, but he won't take the risk to go into the city. We could go for one of the Fringe's houses but we don't have or means to get the equipment.

We need a place with a set of cameras that we can break in. There's another place where I can find that. I say "What about the Bureau? We would only need to control the cameras in one room, and I know the place quite well."

"That could do it answers Zeke, but we may need some help from the inside.

"I'll ask Nita" I say, "she owes me a big favor, and maybe she can persuade Marcus the get there without him knowing he's coming to see me."

"You should be careful though," says Zeke, "remember that you don't even know if someone betrayed us."

I note that I'll have to question Marcus about that too.


	25. Chapter 25 : A balance of powers

**25\. Tris: A balance of powers**

What should I do?

I just don't know how to get out of this, I see no good solution. I can't imagine going away and leave Adam here alone. I can't either imagine myself actually helping Marcus in his experimentations on him, and god knows how many other kids. I still feel sick about all those kids. This is now going far beyond our family life. I suppose not all of those kids are orphans, how many broken families did they make?

I have no way to escape right now, that's settled. I'd need help, and at the moment I don't really know who's on my side anymore… nor do I know who's still alive. It makes me uncomfortable to acknowledge, that I assumed my love and friends got out of the compound safe, but maybe I'm mistaken. I should've asked Marcus. I suppose he wouldn't kill Tobias-I just can't visualize it for myself- but what about the others? Matthew, Zeke, Amar, George?

What if I was really alone now?

At least Christina was not with us for the attack. She's still outside safe. I know she will take care of Natalie if needed.

What I have to do is play for time. I need to get a picture of the whole situation: know what happened to the others, who I can still trust or not, and most of all, what is Marcus really doing here. I also need to avoid him wanting to remove us from here as long as I have got the key advantage under my boot's inner sole... I might not be able to do that again. I realize the only way I can achieve this is to enter Marcus evil plans for a while –or at least fake that I do. But if I do, Adam will pay the price for it, and I'm not sure both of us will be strong enough for the game.

I think it over and over again for hours and, at dawn, I've made my mind up. Then, I start repeating in my head, what I have to tell Marcus to lead him to where I want.

xxx

When I get into Marcus's office, he's seated in his chair again. I understand he is sure that I'm going to surrender to his hideous blackmail. He already has a satisfied look.

"So Beatrice", he asks bluntly "What's your decision?"

"I will help you" I say flatly. "He can't help a twisted smile. I go on as if nothing happened "I will help but, I have conditions if you want me to co-operate."

"Oh you do have conditions my dear. And what could they be?"

I take a second to get ready and I go. "Here are my conditions:

\- First: I want to be able to see Adam any time in the day if I need to. You can lock us together at night if you want.

\- Second: I want to see Tobias and Natalie once a week, safe, of course.

\- Third: By day, I want to be able to go everywhere in the compound and have a look at the research, but I will allow you to put a new tracker on me.

\- And Four, you won't ever lay your hands on my son again, no beating, no shouting of any sort and he won't kill anyone ever.

If you fail to complete one of these conditions, I will not only stop giving my help, but I swear I'll make sure no one ever gets to research with my family. And if you slap Adam again I'll kill you."

I'm so happy that I made it very calm through this, that I look up at Marcus and I'd swear he is a little frightened. At least, his smile died.


	26. Chapter 26 : First round

**26\. Four: First round**

It has been a long day today.

First I had to make up excuses, to explain for Tris and me, not being at work for a few days. It's good that they are not very inquisitive; otherwise they would've known we didn't have any car crash on Saturday…

Evelyn proposed to stay for a while, to help me with Natalie and I was very grateful she did. I know that Tris raised her on her own for 3 years, but I couldn't imagine myself doing it all alone for just 3 days. I'm not that ready after all. I must also admit I'm useless in domestic matters, such as cooking or ironing Natalie's dresses. I just don't know how to do it. Thinking of this, I realize that, in fact, I don't really care about it, while Tris had to learn to do it by herself. I didn't really realize how much she'd grown up to cope with our family life, I promise myself to learn as much as I can and help her at my best…if…no, when I'll get her and Adam back.

I spent most of the afternoon with Nita, trying to spot the best place in the compound where I could meet Marcus. Finally I decided that a small room, next to David's office would do best. There are two cameras in the room and they directly connect to the control panel in David's office. I will only need to cut those particular cameras from the main circuit, to be able to record them in David's office. If we meet at night, the office will be empty.

I said to Nita that I would only let her know, what she needs, and not answer any questions. The less she knows the best it is for me. I had to give her instructions to send a message to Marcus to ask him for a secret meeting. She will pretend she has genetic material he would be interested in.

xxx

I check the lights; one more time. I must be sure he won't see me before he enters the room. I got one gun in my back, clenched in my belt, and one in the draw. I feel tensed. Zeke will hide in David's office to record the meeting, and cover me, just in case things turn wrong at some point.

I hear voices approaching. That must be him with Nita: it's nearly 9PM. I must be stronger than him and keep up to my goal.

"Please get in" says Nita. As soon as Marcus steps in enough, I see the door closing behind him and I hear the light click of the key that Nita just turned as I instructed her earlier. Marcus turns immediately around and tries to open the door again, pushing and pulling madly on the doorknob "What the hell? Nita what is this? Let me out. Ralph, break the door!"

In his panic, he hasn't even noticed me yet. I hear the sound of a fight outside for a minute and then Nita's voice "All's clear, you can go on. One hour."

Then Marcus seems to notice he is not alone, and turns back to me. The light's arrangement pointing at his face is blinding him. It works well, he can't see my face. I show him to sit down with my hand, without a word. I have installed the gun openly on the desk at the same time. "Who are you? What am I doing here" he asks. He is trying to sound aggressive, but I hear he is afraid.

I turn the light into a different angle, so he can see me a little, but not enough for him, to read my thoughts on my face.

"Tobias. What a strange way to ask me for dinner, Son." His voice sounds relieved now…he doesn't think I can hurt him.

"Don't call me that." I spit. "You don't have a son anymore. But I have one and I want him back. I want him back and his mother too." I stop here and wait, this is only first round…

Marcus looks at me with some nasty smile, and I must master myself not to shiver.

"I knew you were naïve, but now I must admit that you are stupid. What did you think? How on earth did you believe you would persuade me to do this? Know what's funny? Your little silly wife was so scared of me, that she agreed to stay willingly at the compound with Adam."

He pauses, looking happy about that good joke of his.

I'm puzzled. That must be a lie, Tris would never do that. She knows I'll come to her whatever it takes. She does know that, does she?

"She doesn't seem to give you much credit for being able to get them out. Isn't it?" he adds nearly laughing.

I feel terrible. I'm not so sure this is a lie, he looks so satisfied with himself. This is not what I expected. What happened to Tris? What did he tell her, or do to her or Adam, to lead her to take such a decision? I don't understand…

I shake my head; whatever he did to her I must get her out, and Adam too. First, I have to learn what I need.

I ask "I need to know: what are you doing with them?"

He takes a lecturing tone as if I was a student "I'm trying to find a way to cure everyone, and restore their full DNA, by filling the gaps with your kid's exceptionally complete DNA chains."

"What are you doing exactly?" I ask, looking as if I was interested.

"We locate the brain parts to repair, by comparing Adam's reactions to stimuli with other kids' ones. After that, we try to locate the proper genes on Adam's DNA chain and try to make them develop again into GD kids' DNA. We're getting nearer every day. Your friend Matthew is really brilliant. That's the only reason why I didn't kill him yet."

I managed not to flinch at this one. What he sees like science, sounds like a freaking laboratory to me. I try to imagine how many kids he holds to make these experiments. "How did you know he was helping us?" I ask, trying to sound casual.

"You're kidding Tobias. Your friend is not very convincing after he has been helping you over the past 4 years. I am not as naïve as you are, Son."

"Don't call me that!" I snap. "Tell me why you would suddenly care about the rest of humanity, while you didn't care about your own family, and still don't obviously?"

"I want to get my position back, that's all."

"Do you really mean that you plan to go back to rule the city again? You're researching on children, you're a monster!" I say quite laughing. "You're the naïve one to me."

"I'm not: I've been working with the US government for over 4 years, and they approve and trust me now. Who do you think gives me the funds for the research? If I succeed, I'll be able to ask anything. I plan to keep enough information on my side though, to avoid them doing anything without my help."

"But why did you stay in Chicago, where we could easily find you?"

"I needed to, in order to be able to look how things were going on. I could also keep an eye on my enemies, and I had valuable help at hand."

I have to ask my biggest question "How did you know we would come to the compound?"

"You were under surveillance and most of your friends too. That was easy, after we had the hint you were looking for us."

"Who was it?" I ask. Marcus stays silent and smiles. He's not ready to bend and I measure how far I am from him in duplicity and treason. I will need time to make out plans, but most of all I must see Tris. I have to find out what's going on that he doesn't tell me. I understand this is not a war for a soldier; I could kill him right now and maybe things would go on anyway with someone else. I'll have to be wiser than him to make sure nothing survives him.

I look at him with my hand on the gun I imagine myself pulling the trigger for a second… "I want to see her. Tomorrow."

Marcus does not answer; I try again "So?"

"So she's staying with me… and Adam of course. "For the moment." I finish.

"Now I think I'll be going." He says getting up.

I get up too, and aim at him with the armed gun "I said I want to see her tomorrow." I repeat coldly.

He looks as if weighing options for a minute. "Come to the compound at 4PM, alone. You'll be able to see her for one hour. No need to say you'll be watched." I nod.


	27. Chapter 27 : A visit

**27\. Tris: A visit  
**

I'm quite happy. I won on most of my conditions, but I'm not stupid enough, to believe Marcus actually gave me anything he didn't plan to let go at some point. What I need is make the most of what I got at the moment. Marcus thought I had put my demands in order so he didn't agree with my asking to see Adam any time. But my real main concern was the last one and I obtained it easily; I don't want him spoiled beyond repair from physical and psychological tortures.

The new tracker in my forearm still hurts a little but with it, I'll be allowed to go quite freely in the compound in any unlocked room as he said. Hope that will be enough for my plan. This morning Marcus said I could see Adam once a day, not counting the training sessions that I will need to attend with him. I will even be able to choose what I want to do with him if they can put electrodes on him if they want to. I guess this is supposed to help them in the research.

I walked around the garden for a while after that, because I was so excited to see him. I'd been dying to know if he had made it out all right and not only he is, but I'll see him today. I think I feel like Natalie on her birthday, when she starts thinking about all her presents to come. It will not really be a date though, as someone is going to watch us all long. Anyway, I have to talk with him of important things. But I still feel like a schoolgirl. I think I should ask for a mirror, I feel like looking good for our meeting… whoever is watching us.

I think I should go back now, I planned to explore the compound before lunch. I need to find out how to improve my ordinary in the room. Besides, I have dinner with Adam tonight. This will be our real first meeting and I need a few things to help me communicate with him. I know I can make wonders with papers, color pens and scissors.

xxx

I feel really light hearted despite the situation.

I'm going to see Tobias.

It's not so good though; I'm a prisoner with my 5 year old son who doesn't know me, away from my daughter and husband.

But just now, I'm going to see Tobias.

I promised to help my evil father in law to research on my kid's DNA, knowing that he keeps hundreds of other kids prisoners to use them in his experiments.

I'm going to see Tobias.

Here I am, the hall is empty. I decided to meet him outside, behind the barracks building. I spotted a part of the garden where an old stone bench still stands. If they watch us, at least I believe they won't be able to record anything. Being outside, will make it more difficult to overhear what we say to each other too.

The door opens and I see him on the doorstep. It's been too much waiting, I can't help running to him and we fall in each other's arms. Then only, I feel relieved. I kiss him. "Are you all right?" I whisper.

"Yes." He takes my head in his hands and asks "Are you OK?"

I nod and say "Yes, I was just worried. What about the others?"

"Everyone's fine." He responds.

I take his hand and lead him outside to the garden in silence. We sit on the bench and I put my head on his shoulder. We can talk with our voices very low, and I'm sure the guard does not hear. Even if he does, it's not important… today.

"What did you tell Natalie? Is she OK?" I ask.

"I kinda say the truth. I said someone kept you prisoner, but I was making up a plan to get you back. I believe she thinks you're in a tower with a dragon or something."

I smile. "Assumed that your father keeps me in here and there's a tower too, that's quite close from the truth."

He looks at me "She's sad but she goes on quite well till now. Evelyn helps me at home. Now tell me why you decided to stay here?"

"I had to." I say. "When we got caught, I was desperate. I didn't know if you had made it alive with the others. Marcus threatened me to move Adam away for good, if I refused to help. I decided I needed time first, so I could not do anything else but give in, at least openly. And also he told me he holds about 600 other orphans and factionless kids in the compound. I want to save them too; I suppose some of them still have families."

I go on "I will get to see Adam once a day and take part in some of the experiments. That's why he let us in: he needed one of us to make Adam bend easier. I guess he's growing up and rebelling like you did. Marcus knew we were coming, because Johanna has been spying on you and told him you were looking for plans of the fort. She made a sort of pact with Marcus to leave him our baby, in exchange for the city's freedom and safety. He bargained, with death or memory serum and her son's life." I stop here. I don't feel like saying him now about the "accidents" where Adam killed some other kid.

"I understand." he says, stroking my hair. "I'll find something to end this nightmare. It might take a little time but I will." We stay like that for a while.

I add quite proud "I obtained to see you once a week with Natalie though, and I can visit freely, most of the compound-with my new tracker friend. I'll try to find out as much as I can." I pause "I suppose we can't do much more today."

Four pulls me back from his shoulder, and puts his hands around my waist to make me sit on his lap. "I believe we can do a lot more today…" he says starting to kiss me tenderly. I respond and I shiver, when I feel his hands on my back's skin. I go on kissing him back for a long time, running my hand in his hair, stroking his tatooed back under his tee-shirt… Our breath is accelerating, I feel warm and safe and strong… and suddenly there's a crack behind us. Our bubble explodes as we realize we are not really alone.

I pull back a little from his embrace, but not too much because it feels so comforting "Maybe for next time I should ask Marcus for a room with a view and queen sized bed? What do you think he'll say?" I ask with a teasing smile.

Four's nearly laughing. "Don't know, but could be worth a try. But if you get one, I won't be bringing Natalie every week." I curl in his arms, smiling.

The guard shouts "Time to leave!"

I kiss him once again and I get up. I feel cold, where his hands have been laying on my back. It always does.

I have to leave him outside the door and go back home.


	28. Chapter 28 : The King and Queen

**28\. Tris: The King and Queen**

Three months! Three months and I still don't have a clue! I've been looking for the stock of serums, Marcus says to possess. I tried every unlocked door in the compound and I still don't have a clue. I punch the bag hard again. I punch it until my knuckles hurt too much.

"Are you angry Mummy?" asks Adam little voice behind me. I stop immediately. I don't want him to see me like this. His voice has enough violence already. I savor the sound of the word "Mummy" in his mouth though. He just began using it about two weeks ago. I kneel down to his height and answer quietly "No. Mummy is upset, but that's nothing to do with you sweetie. Is it time for your training already?" He nods and goes to the ring. I hate to watch him actually fighting other kids, but I don't have choice at the moment.

It's true that I'm upset. Our plan is going on quite well, even if we can't give too much detail to each other. Four is working with Zeke to breach into the compound security, and hack their control system. They plan to access the whole camera system as well as the alarm signals. They want to spy for a while before we go for the attack. It is much more complicated than last time because we need to free more than 600 kids as well as our family. Logistics' very different. Four got the idea to get help from the Factionless-there are a lot of their kids prisoners here. With his connection to Evelyn, they are getting help from a lot of technical personal from the Fort Sheridan and many public services as transportation or electrical network. In due time, their help will be precious to get out of here.

The main flaw in the plan at the moment is that I still haven't located where they store the serums, and I don't know how Marcus would use it on the city if needed. I suppose he must keep it at hand, but probably not in his office. I checked a lot of rooms already without finding anything. What I have to do is find a way to make someone get there and spy on them. I think I have an idea but it's quite dangerous. Maybe I could've come up with this earlier.

OK I think I won't stay any longer, as the technicians look like stopping here for today, after Adam knocked out 2 boys about 3 years older than him. It's true he's quite tall compared to them. I decide I must do it quick. I'm trying to turn him into a normal child but this won't be possible inside here, where he is always under stress and used a laboratory subject for violent experiments.

I have to see Marcus; very soon. But first I need a few accessories, especially the key I stole 3 months ago, and I have to speak with Matthew right now.

xxx

First I go to the library. It's a big room with oaken shelves. The coding system is different from the Erudite's, but I manage to find the lane I need. I'm looking for the serum sum book of Jeanine Matthews: _Serums and their effects_. I easily find back the section, where they talk about the side effects of the over-using of the serum, and the ability to produce a simulation without serum. I ask for a copy of it. The guy at the desk frowns at my demand, but I say I want to show it to Marcus and I'm not allowed to take the book out. I finally get may copy of the pages I need and I decide to straight to Marcus' office.

I knock but I don't wait for the answer…and I find myself in front of him, talking with Johanna Reyes, seated in front of him.

"Hello Beatrice." says Marcus smiling as usual. I'm so shocked that I don't even think about going out again, and also, I feel rage growing inside me. That filthy traitor of Johanna is still helping him then. I don't know if she understands what I'm thinking about, or maybe she's just fearing for her life. She says with a crooked voice "I see you're doing well in here. I'm sorry things turned out that way for you both, but you know there were higher interests in balance. I had to make the right choice."

"Glad you feel right about it." I spit "Betraying the ones who helped you to get here and destroy their families and lives… nice decision to live with!" She flinches.

"I didn't know what else to do, even if I don't like it." She says. "And at least, you're all alive! I'm the one who suggested to let Natalie with her parents to compare her behavioral evolution scheme with Adam."

"I don't need your excuses and I don't care. I can't even imagine how you could look at Four every day, knowing what you did to us. Please don't speak to me again."

Marcus says "You're so naïve my dear. You don't understand yet, what it is to make sacrifices for the sake of everybody."

I look at Marcus and Johanna and I feel sick. "You are two venomous snakes. You speak about higher interests and sacrificing for the good of others but when did any of YOU, sacrifice for the others? It's easy to talk and ruin the other's lives. I know; I've done it. I have stolen many people's memory. But I couldn't even live with it afterwards. You, just don't care. You drape in your believing, that you're the best to rule, whatever it takes."

Marcus doesn't seem to care but Johanna seems to shrink in her chair and I'd swear she's about to cry.

I decide to finish her "But what kind of leaders are you to sacrifice the weakest to your purpose, instead of trying to co-operate? You don't deserve the power you have."

Maybe I just blew up all my chances to see Matthew and solve my problem, but I couldn't help it. Anyway, would Marcus be deceived if I suddenly became quiet and nice to him? He would guess I'm up to something. I must ask now.

"Now; I came to ask Marcus the permission to speak with Matthew about something I'm concerned with for Adam. It's about his reactions to the simulation serum. I believe his knowledge about serums and brain could help. We will speak in the lab only, if you want to know everything we say."

"What is it about?" says Marcus.

I show him the copies of the book and explain to him, that I'd like to know if Adam can actually produce a simulation on his own. But I lie, saying I'm the one who connected to him once. He looks interested and thinks for a minute; weighing his options as usual.

OK he says, go to the lab this afternoon at 3PM, but I want a guard in the room and no object can be exchanged. We'll have the cameras anyway. Tell Matthew to report to me straight after you're finished.

xxx

I go to the lab in due time; I still carry my papers. This is when I have to be cold hearted and precise. As I enter the room, I walk slowly to check for the cameras, as Four always does. Now I know where to stand. I greet Matthew with a hug and whisper in his hear, "I need help, play along." I talk to him casual and explains my story about having witnessed a strange nightmare of Adam. I put the two paper sheets at the right place and when we bend over, our backs turn to the 2 main cameras, and the third one is behind a beaker as I planned. I go.

"Look at this. I think Adam could be concerned; I sort of connected to him once." I say. Then whispering "_Can you make an airborne truth serum quick?"_ He nods. I go on "It's from Jeanine Matthews you see, do you know how she got to experiment on this."

"No. I have never watched her during her experiments you know, I was never in the control room." He answers.

"Look here what she says" I add showing him the paper. Then whispering "_Can you make a dose for 3, stored in a water bottle from the refectory?" _

"I see." He says nodding to my other question. "I believe this is possible, but we would need to witness or test it, to be sure." He whispers to me _"Tomorrow lunchtime. Exchange bottles."_

I add "Do you think we could make a test tomorrow evening as I noticed it happened during his sleep, or I think so anyway."

"If Marcus is OK, I can be ready tomorrow by 7PM, but I'll need to work part of the night. I will ask him when we're finished."

"He wants your report straight ahead anyway." I say. Then I hug him "Thank you Matthew."

The plan is going on pretty well till now. I must not forget, to keep a full bottle of water tonight, a sealed one, that I'll keep with me all day until lunch tomorrow, in case they search me.


	29. Chapter 29 : Plans and allies

**29\. Tobias : Plans and allies**

I've been working on this with Zeke for 2 months. It was quite easy to hack the main internal network, but it only manages communications: emails, files and photographs that people exchange on business duties. The good thing with it, is that we found the kids' files. They have records of all the kids that Marcus took in the compound for his experiments. He lied to Tris, I discovered with Zeke that most of the kids still have parents, either Factionless or Ex-Fringe inhabitants. They have tested the kids to register them into a faction or divergency. Marcus made the parent(s) sign a contract where they agreed to work for a very small salary in the city in exchange for their kid scholarship in a special excellence centre. I guess some part of this plan, comes from Johanna.

I haven't spoken to her in months, after the violent argue we had, just after Tris told me she had betrayed us. I asked for a change of job afterwards, in order to avoid her completely. I've been working in the orientation service, replacing Tris ever since.

So we've been trying to find all the kids' parents back, to tell them the truth, and obtain help from them. We're getting on well, with Evelyn, Christina and Shauna's help, and we nearly reached 500 people concerned. As most of them work in the public services, they'll be able to help us to get into the compound and also evacuate the kids quickly afterwards.

We have 4 key people in the electrical network to be able to cut their electricity supply when we will be in. they will also help us, to light up some parts of the city, while others can be left in the dark. We also found a lot of people from the railway service, where a lot of Factionless work. They've been repairing the line that goes to the Fort Sheridan station by night, because we have no other quick way to evacuate the kids. We already have the two trains ready for this, along with 4 drivers just in case. The station stands just in front of the fort entrance, so the kids will just have to get there, that seems possible.

The security system was a little bit more difficult to hack, but we achieved this one week ago. I and Zeke are relaying in front of the screens to observe the compound's life and Marcus moves. When I'm on my own, like tonight, I try to find out where Tris and Adam are, just to watch them. Sometimes I see them asleep and I've noticed they've got frequent nightmares. I miss her badly… but maybe this will be over soon.

All that we have to do now is plan for the best time to attack. But I need to wait for Tris to find the serums. She told me she still had nothing when I saw her with Natalie 3 days ago. She was trying to think of a plan to make Marcus lead her to the serum storage. I hope she finds it soon, because we will be ready within 2 or 3 days, and that everyone's motivation won't last very long, if we wait forever.

I'm not fair. I should not doubt her. She's doing everything she can to help, trying to protect Adam at the same time. It is strange; today she went to speak to Matthew in the lab. Maybe she's preparing something, but I couldn't understand what from the conversation. And I could not see what was on the papers she was showing him.

I look for Adam for a moment. It was very odd to look at him at first. It was like looking at me at his age. He looks pretty much like I did, even if I got to see myself very seldom, I remember. I think he must have the same thoughts, and he is very afraid of Marcus Naturally. I was so lost with him that first time we met, I just couldn't touch him until Tris helped me take his hand. I still have my fear in my mind, where I become my father. Tris knows and says that it means I can overpower it. I'm afraid anyway and I've only been cold and clumsy with him.

Natalie got on well though. They started playing together like old friends from their very first meeting. Maybe they knew each other already because of that mind connection Tris told me about. They're usually playing outside or reading books. Adam made his very first drawing one month ago: the girls were on it but not me. I was not surprised but it made me sad. I think we will both need time.


	30. Chapter 30: Second round

**Author's note : Thank you very much for reviewing: it makes my day and helps me find the time to update quite quickly, as I know you want to read what's next.**

**I take any suggestions you'd have about this story.**

**30\. Tris : Second round**

I'm a mess. I can't help it, I'm too excited. I think about taking a shower to calm down but It's nearly lunch time and I want to be early. I hope Matthew got all right with the serum I need.

I take the bottle I've been carrying everywhere since yesterday as a decoy, and leave to the refectory. My room is not locked in daytime. I take my meal and find an empty spot to sit, trying to turn my back to the cameras. As it is nearly empty, I quickly find a pretty good place.

Matthew shows a few minutes later. He was clever to come when it's not too crowded. He looks worn but satisfied I'd say. He comes straight to me as for an important business.

"Hello Tris. I've reported to Marcus" he says putting his tray next to mine and bending over me. I notice his bottle is right on the edge of the tray, I'll be able to exchange them easily.

He whispers _"Just open and it vaporizes in seconds" _then goes on loud "He should call for you after lunch to talk about it. Are you still ready for an experiment?" I look as if thinking about the question.

He whispers _"Added a delayed memory serum. Make you forget the last hour. Write everything."_ I nod, thinking how clever this is. It looks as I'm answering his former question.

"Yes, I'm still okay." I respond. He swaps the bottles quickly. "Will there be any side effects?" I add.

"No. you'll just be a little sleepy for one day I guess. See you tonight at 7PM then, in lab 45, someone will escort you. Put Adam in PJ's please."

xxx

Time has come to play the game well. I won't have another chance. When I get into Marcus' office, he is alone. He doesn't like to share his secrets that much. That will help. I get in and sit without asking him permission. I covered myself well and put some cotton balls in my nose, to delay the effect of the serum on me. I just need a few minutes but I do need them with my memory and I'm not sure that I am immunized against memory serum.

As soon as I sit, I put the bottle in my lap, ready to open it when it's time. I spot the paper and pen I need on the desk.

"Please have a sit says Marcus with a grin." I say nothing. He goes "OK, not in the mood to play cat and mouse today? I'm disappointed."

"Tell me what you want" I respond.

"Matthew told you that we are going to have this new experiment tonight. I want you to know that you will be bound and watched constantly. I you do anything stupid, I'll erase your memory."

See who's going to play first jerk! I think; and I open the bottle, directing it to him under the desk.

I ask casually "I have some questions, may I?"

His gaze changes immediately, as if he was trying to get out of something sticky. I'm still all right, I must be quick. I grab the pen and a paper and go. I've prepared all the questions.

"Where is the stock of serum?" He answers quite mechanically "in the tower, just under top level.

"How do you get in?" The door is guarded day and night. The password is Napoleon and the door code is 8469. "Do you ever change them?" I ask.

"Every two months we change the code he says on first day of the month."

"When's next change?" I add, we are the 3rd of july.

"In about 4 weeks" he says "1st of August."

I write down everything.

"How did you plan to spread it in the city?"

"The tower is a water tower so we can mix it with water and send it through the tap water system into the city."

"What's your security code in the compound?" he gives me what looks like a date.

I must be quick, the serum starts to affect me a little. I crumple the paper and put it into my sock, just to be sure. I take back the empty bottle and hurry out of the room. I spot a do not disturb sign that I put on the door. He will think he took a nap.

I close the door carefully and hurry back to my room before I lose my memory if I have to. I wake up at 4PM. I remember everything and nothing has changed in the compound.

I think I did it.


	31. Chapter 31:Up in the tower

**31\. Tris : Up in the tower**

It's nearly time 22.50. My heart's pounding. If everything goes right, Four should be here within 10 minutes. I go through the plan again to calm down: get up the tower, find the stock of serum and destroy the death and memory serum first. Steal some peace serum if I find any, and get back to help and free the kids. I've been learning how to recognize the serum from the color and aspect, if needed. I heard the knock at the door. 6 times, it's him. I take the key in my shoe and open the door. He gets in quickly and closes the door. I can't help taking him in my arms and I know he feels the same. "Is everything OK?" I whisper.

"Yes" he says. "The control room is receiving our recordings now, but we must hurry, as soon as the kids will start to move, they will hear and we will need help. We have some sleep serum but it's not airborne. Here's your gun" he says handing me a gun like the one we used at Dauntless "and a needle with 3 vials of sleep serum. Don't waste them. And the C4's in your backpack, for the end…"

I stuck the gun behind my back and the needle in my jacket with the vials.

"You remember the code?" I ask. "No problem, It's my birth date." He answers coldly. I flinch.

"Put a bullet proof jacket before" he adds, as if it nothing happened, and takes one out of his bag "I want you back this time. OK?" I see with a relief, that he wears a bulletproof jacket too. Suddenly, he cups my head in his hands and kisses me.

"I love you" he says "Be careful, I…" I stop his next word with a kiss "I love you too. Take care."

I let him go first and put the backpack on; he needs to go straight to the control room to supervise the kids' escape.

I step out of the room carefully, close the door and lock it back before hiding the key back into my shoe. I look around every two seconds, but there's no one in sight. When I get to the gate, I find the guards sleeping. I follow the empty corridor and climb the stairs silently. I don't know who's helping but all the guards are in a deep sleep outside in the cabin. I notice that Zeke is parading at the gate to deceive the guards on top of the tower. I can't lose a minute and I head to the door. The inner part of the tower has a big spiral staircase. I start to climb. It's awfully high and my hip starts to send flashes of pain when I'm still halfway to the top, but I must go on.

When I arrive on top, I stop a level under the one where the storage room sits, panting. I wait until the pain decreases a little. There's no way I can't fight right now if needed. I hope they have cut the cameras by now. I hear the guard walk by the door. I must go. I run upstairs and aim at the guard with my gun. "don't shout! Drop your gun! Hands up!" I shout with my hands on the trigger. I must not shake. The guard seems to hesitate for a sec and I see his hand on the trigger. I shoot him straight in the leg-the gun is remarkably silent, and he finally decides he won't risk his life right now.

"OK, OK don't shoot anymore" he says, throwing his gun on the floor.

"Open that door!" I say, pointing at the door with my head.

"I… I can't" he answers limping badly "Please. I don't have the code, I swear."

"Push the button and try Napoleon" I say. The guard activates the system, and says the word in the door security system. A metallic voice answers "Please enter the code."

"Dial 8469" I say, as I approach the guard. A green light flashes and the door opens. I push the guard before me, and knock him out with the gun. I inject him a dose of sleep serum and look at the room around me.

It's a little dark but I don't dare lighting the whole room. I take the guard's torch light and start looking for what I need. I see big plastic boxes with small labels of different colors. I spot the lavender one for the death serum and I open one of them to be sure. It holds about 500 doses I guess. And suddenly, the number of boxes makes me dizzy: I count about 20 boxes, enough to erase the whole city of Chicago. I turn to the other boxes and check for each of them until I find the peace serum and the memory serum. I take the C4 out of the bag, and grab as much vials of peace serum as I can stuff in the bag, and I fill my pockets with a few vials of memory serum. It's time to blow it all now. Good thing that none of these serums were airborne versions, it would've ruined our plans.

Suddenly, I think about the guards still in the tower. I did not really plan to kill someone tonight. I install the C4 close enough from the death serum boxes to be sure they'll be blown off and I decide to go on top of the roof. I have loaded my needle with peace serum this time. When I get on top, I see the 2 guards pacing around the tiled roof. I wait in the dark for the first one to pass in front of me, then jump at his neck to give him a shot of serum. He stops for a second and I reload as fast as I can to inject the second guard who's coming my way "Hey Tim " he shouts, and I plant my needle in his neck again. They seem very calm and docile now. I try to make my voice soft to tell them to grab their friend downstairs and go back home as soon as possible. They look at me as if they were drunk, but they turn back to the stairs and start to descend. I follow them. I stop in the serum room after they're gone to check my explosives and I install the detonator. Now I have to pray that the signal reaches back up here, as I can't ignite before I'm out of this tower too.

When I reach the bottom of the tower, my hip aches again. I take a deep breath, take a few steps to avoid being just under the tower and push the button. I see the flames on top and the roof explodes in a rain of tile shards and pulverized stones and bricks. I'm looking at the firework satisfied for a minute, and go back to the barracks quickly to help. I don't see the kids yet.


	32. Chapter 32 : Knock out

**32\. Tobias : Knock out**

I see the 3 guards get out, and the top levels of the tower blow up. I make a silent prayer that Tris was not inside. I keep my eyes on this footage until I see her emerging carefully from the dust and ashes. She looks fine, she made it! I'm very impressed that she managed to get the guys out there, not to kill anyone. Her selflessness always bluffs me.

I have to follow the kids now, I suppose Tris will join them in a minute. I notice that the line is not going as fast as I expected. Hope they'll make it on time. Anyway, I took an extra precaution for Adam, just in case.

I'm still watching the kids go out, one by one, when I spot him in the car at the gate, on the control panel. Marcus came back earlier than we planned. I'm really afraid now, we have to find something quick. He will notice the explosion of the tower, and there's no one left at this level. We locked them all, in 3 of the bedrooms, as far from the entrance as possible.

I see Marcus look straight at the tower, and run to have a look at it. I see him bend to look on the floor, and I think he swears when he discovers the serums have been blown up. He runs inside the barracks and I guess he's going to his office but there's no camera in there. I must follow him and whatever he plans to do, I must stop him now.

I turn to Amar "I don't like him being there. As soon as he spots something wrong he'll react, and I must stop him. You're in charge from now on. When the kids are out, you leave immediately OK?"

He nods. I check my gun and I leave, checking around me that the corridor's still empty. When I arrive at the door, it is closed. I open it very slowly and I risk an eye inside. I can glimpse a part of Marcus's desk and he is watching a screen behind him, switching for a camera to the other. He is checking the wreckage…

He hasn't noticed me yet but then, he spots the camera where you can see the kids going out and turns back in a second to push a button on the command and I hear the alarm ring loudly. I step in, with my gun in my hand, aiming at him. "Stop it!" I order.

"Son! I should've known you wouldn't drop it that easily."

I spit "Let them go now or I'll kill you." I feel I'm about to shoot.

"You don't understand boy. I've been working on this project for over 4 years and I'm nearly there. I'm about to save everybody I won't let you ruin everything now. All this is mine, you're my son, I made you, you should understand."

I master my fury to say "You don't own any of us; you're just an insane monster with a greed for power. It's over, I won't let you..." And I pull the trigger… but something must've gone wrong because everything goes black.


	33. Chapter 33: Can you save everyone?

**33\. Tris: Can you save everyone?**

I walk carefully to the main door, and enter the barracks. I'm so impatient to see Four, that my first move is to go and find him. I head to the control room but I don't run, not to raise attention on me. Then, in the middle of the corridor, I stop. I remember what happened last time I didn't trust Tobias and failed to follow the plans strictly. In addition, he might not have told me everything. What I must really do, is go downstairs to help the others getting the kids out. I must do as he said; saving the kids is our priority. We'll have time later for family gathering. I go downstairs slowly, holding my gun in my hand, just in case.

I find Christina and Evelyn down there, with a dozen other people with guns, and a big group of kids, lining. They're pushing the kids outside, through a back door at the end of the corridor. I look for Adam and I notice that he's wearing a black bulletproof jacket. I wave at him and send him a kiss. Suddenly, an alarm rings and all the doors close, leaving a gate between me and them. It's like hell, the kids start yelling and crying, everybody tries to push the back door, and the adults seem totally lost about what to do. Christina's yelling in her radio to be heard "Team C do you hear me? It's Chris: we're trapped, all the doors closed, please do something quick! Over"

She's waiting but there's no response for a few seconds. She looks at me through the gate. "Tris," she says "Can you go the control room and see what's happening, then come back here to help us get the hell out. OK?"

Before I respond I hear a voice in the radio "Here's Amar. Marcus is back and he started some emergency program controlled from his office. Tobias is already there to unlock the door. Call you back when it's done. Over."

My stomach clenches immediately. I have to get there and help him, but before, I try Marcus security code on the gate's control panel. I dial it twice but it doesn't work. The green light does not even flashes. I stop myself blowing it out with my handgun; I don't want to trap them in here for good.

"I'll go the control room. Go on trying the code every 5 minutes." I say to Chris, giving her the paper where it's written. Then I run like mad. I have a bad feeling about this; Marcus is a cool blooded monster. I'm at the bottom of the stairs when I hear the shooting. My heart races and I run upstairs. My hip starts to hurt again and I tumble in the stairs. I knock my head on a step and bite my lip; it starts bleeding and I feel dizzy. I go on, half limping.

I blow the door open without thinking and… I fall on my knees trembling. Tobias is lying in a pool of blood. I look at Marcus, he seems to be dead. Anyway I don't care.

I crawl next to him, tears welling up to my eyes, I try to call his name but he does not move at all. I check his pulse with my hand: he is still alive, but it's faint. He was shot in the belly - I realize how Adam's wearing a bulletproof jacket. I must stop crying helplessly, and do something. I take my jacket and my tee-shirt off and start to strip my tee-shirt into bandages. I stuff part of the torn tee-shirt on the wound, and bandage it as hard as I can.

Then, I go to the desk and try to find out how to free everybody. I find the lock screen, but no code will do. I try the 3 ones I had from Marcus, but none of them ever works. I feel desperate, Tobias is dying next to me, and he's the one who knows something in computers. I look at the screens and I see that one of the rooms is opened and guards are going out of it. I change my plans in a sec. I push Marcus from his wheeled desk chair. He is actually dead. I approach the chair from Tobias and pull him on it slowly. I go back in the corridor, pulling the chair behind me, and head back to the control room. I stop there to ask Amar to drop the watch, and go to Marcus office and try to unlock the doors.

"Would you know where Matthew's gone?" I ask.

"He's still in the lab, he wouldn't leave his work. Something vital he said." He looks at the chair with Tobias in it but leaves anyway. "Trust me and save him." he says.

I pull the chair to the other aisle, where the infirmary stands. I've been there before to see Adam once he got a bad blow in the eye. It's empty but I need help. I install Tobias on the first bed I find, cover him with a blanket, and I run to the lab to get Matthew. As I get there, I'm closer to the stairs and I feel something's wrong. I hear people shouting, and what definitely sounds like a gun fight downstairs. I don't like it at all but I can't save everyone at once.

Matthew's in the lab, typing on a computer. "Tobias is badly wounded, I need your help. Quick!" I say as I grab him by the sleeve and we run back to the infirmary. When we get there I explain to him what I've done to stop the bleeding, but as I speak, I see his face whiter than ever, despite his brown skin, and his hand is cold as ice. I'm awfully worried. I'm crying a river and I'm trembling like a leaf. Matthew starts picking and disinfecting the tools he needs, here and there in the draws. I can take the bullet out, but he lost too much blood.

"Can you turn on the computer please?" asks Matthew I have to check something. I do and let him type what he needs.

"I'm sorry Tris, we have to find someone to make a blood transfusion. Now."

"No problem I'll do it" I say. "Tell me what to do."

"No, you can't. I checked and Tobias is B group and you're A, that's what I thought I remembered. That would kill him. But there are other people here who can do it: Evelyn and Adam, both of them are B, like Natalie. Find them quickly, while I take the bullet out."

Doing something useful stops me from crying. I run downstairs-this time I don't tumble in the stairs. But I stop at the end of the corridor. It's shooting everywhere and I guess the kids are all lying down on the floor, while the 5 guards try to kill the adults. I still have my gun with me. This is time to remember my Dauntless lessons. I kneel in the corridor and aim quietly. I shoot on all the guards without thinking. I definitely won't save everybody today. The shooting stops suddenly and I realize the 5 guards are down on the floor. I don't check if they're dead or not I go to the gate and try to open it. It still won't go.

Christina comes to the gate. "Maybe we should shoot it?" she says.

"No." I say. "can you find Adam and Evelyn for me, while I look. I need them now; it's vital." She turns back. I look at the lock carefully and I notice it has a key hole. I had not noticed it because of the darkness. I still have the key in my shoe. I take it out and try it. My heart stops beating…but the door opens. I shout "Gate is opened. Everyone who's left will go out by the main door. Do not run but line up and make it fast, Okay?"

A queue starts to form again and go to the stairs.

I'm desperately looking for Christina in the middle of all the kids going out. And then, I spot her. I see Adam next to her with a relief. "Where is Evelyn?" I ask "Did she go first?"

Christina shakes her head sadly "I'm afraid she's dead Tris, she got shot by one of the guard."

I have to lean on the wall not to faint. Will this nightmare never end?


	34. Chapter 34: Living on

**34\. Tris: Living on**

Suddenly, I remember why I'm here. Tobias is dying in the infirmary, I must pull myself up. I shake my head and get up again.

"OK Adam." I say, kneeling in front of him "We have to go upstairs, where Matthew will need to take a little blood from you. He needs it to help your dad. Are you all right with this?" He nods silently.

"Let's go then. I'll be with you all the time." I take his hand and we trot to the stairs.

Matthew looks surprised when I come back to the infirmary, panting a little. "Where's Evelyn?" he asks, looking worried "We don't have much time."

"She's been shot. She's dead." I answer sternly. "There's only Adam."

He asks Adam to sit down, and takes me apart. He whispers "He's too small. I can only take a little blood from him. I'm afraid I'll need more. We'll have to find another group B donor. Check the files in the computer, just in case we have someone in the staff here. If not, go outside and make a call or go and get Natalie as fast as you can. I'll prepare Adam for the transfusion." I nod and turn straight to the computer. I can't help a wince as a flash of pain runs through my hip and across my belly.

He talks to me while he prepares Adam. "Are you all right Tris, you look in pain. Is your bruised chin hurting?"

"We'll see that later. I'm not important right now." I answer. He goes on with his preparations.

I type like mad in the request zone and I get only 3 results. I look at the pictures but I have not seen the first two men since I'm in the compound. The third one though, is one of the two men, who were watching on top of the tower. I told him to go home under peace serum…instead of blowing him up with the serums. I wonder if this is God's way to tell me this one was right. I look frantically into his file, to find out where he lives. The computer asks for a security code, but this time Tobias birth date functions. I think I'm lucky, when I see that he lives on the compound, in Ronan road. That's not very far from this building. I note the address and go to be near Adam, when Matthew will start transfusing. I hear that he explains simply to Adam, everything he does, step by step.

I approach and say "I found someone. He lives about 300 yards from here. I'll go while you transfuse from Adam. But suddenly I have to sit down on the nearest chair, because I feel dizzy. I take Adam's hand but he doesn't seem afraid at all. I stroke his hair and say "I'm really proud of you darling."

Matthew comes to me and says "I should have a look at you too, before you go. You look worn." He looks at my head, that's swollen around my chin where I hit the step. "No wonder you're exhausted though. Take your jacket off, I'll have a look at your hip. It should not hurt.

I let Adam's hand go and take the jacket off. His eyes widen as he looks at me; I'm half-naked, since my tee-shirt has gone into a blooded rag. Without this protection, he can't ignore the bulge on my belly.

"Tris, why didn't you tell me? Are you mad? How long have you known?"

I'm suddenly like a kid, trying to avoid punishment. All I can do is cry; it's been so heavy to deal with this alone.

"Just a few weeks. I couldn't be sure you know, and it was not supposed to be possible. I really couldn't trust anyone, Marcus was such a monster, that he could have skinned you if he had found out."

Matthew looks even more worried if possible "Tris you must stop fighting and running, or you'll put this kid's life in danger. I'll find someone else to get that man OK?"

I surrender, he is right, I must admit I'm exhausted, and Adam and Tobias will need me later. I go to the nearest bed to lie for a moment with a blanket. I'm cold since I took the jacket out. Matthew looks at my hips and says that I must have broken something in the prosthesis. That's why it hurts.

"I'll go and find someone to find the donor and bring him back here. I'll bring back something to eat too. You don't move an inch, okay?" I nod.

Xxx

I think I must've been sleeping for a while because it's bright day. I look desperately for Adam and Tobias, but they didn't move and seem deeply asleep. I approach my chair between them and I notice that color came back a little, on Tobias' face. I check his breathing: it's regular and quiet. He doesn't seem to suffer and I suppose Matthew sedated him.

I try to remember what happened last night. It's painful to think about it, and my ideas are not very clear. I feel weak and I approach a seat to sit near my two men. I notice how they look alike, even if Adam's skin is a lighter shade than Tobias's. It makes me think about Evelyn, and I really feel sad. I regret that she won't get to know Adam at all. I think I'll miss her, even if we were not what you'd call great friends. She was the closest figure from a mother that we had around us.

I realize that yesterday, Tobias lost both his parents in one day….just like I did years ago. Worse than me, he actually killed his father.

I take his hand and put my head on the bed.


	35. Chapter 35:Step by step

**35\. Tris: Step by step**

I wake up when Matthew shakes me gently. "What time is it?" I ask, with a sleepy voice. "It's 11.15." says Matthew. "We must leave in half an hour. You should get a good shower, and find fresh clothes."

I feel a flash of panic, that wakes me up completely. "Where are we going? What's happening?"

"Don't freak out."Says Matthew. "We just need to move Four to a proper hospital. I can't make surgery, and someone has to remove the bullet. He's still in a critical state, we have to make fast. The good thing is that the transfusion will allow us to move him without risk. I arranged everything: a medical van will be here in half an hour. Do as I say, OK."

It is nearly painful to release Tobias's hand; I clenched his fingers in mine while sleeping. I stroke his cheek and leave to my room downstairs. I turn the hot water on and I scrub my skin as if I could wipe the past 24 hours away. I let the hot water pour down on me and I close my eyes and relax. I wish I could stay in this bubble for one day…or maybe forever. No one's dead or wounded here, kids have parents and birth cakes…I'm crying under the shower.

As I get out of the shower, I start to dress, and I get another flash of pain in my hip. My bad ideas come back straight again. I suddenly realize that I've been assuming that Tobias would make it safe, but that's not sure at all. I was badly hurt when I got shot, but they managed to treat me immediately. We didn't.

I can't even consider the idea of him dying. I sit against the wall, and put my arms around my legs. No. Please No. Not after all we've done to get here; Please don't let him die.

Not with our baby coming. I wish I had told him, maybe he would fight harder to stay alive. I've been useless.

I'm still prostrated, when I hear Matthew's frantic voice. "Tris come on, we're leaving! Dammit Tris! Where are you?" That makes be come back to my senses immediately. I grab a jumper and run to join him I say "Sorry. I've had a little moment of weakness. Let's go."

When I arrive outside, the van is waiting with Tobias and Adam inside. I feel like I must not leave them at all. "I'll get in there." I say, jumping in the van with the doctor. I did that because I wanted to speak with him but I see Adam pale and tired under his blanket. I sit next to him and sit him on my lap and hug him. I'm watching Tobias's chest moving slightly and I concentrate on it. I wonder if I watch over him non-stop, maybe he won't let go. We stay like this, silent, until we get to the hospital.

xxx

I'm in Adam's room. He's sleeping. This transfusion exhausted him. I've been waiting for the surgeon to finish the bullet extraction…I've been pacing around for two hours already and I'm getting mad; no one would give me any information until they're finished.

I've never felt so lonely. Matthew's gone back to the Fort to save his precious research. I got Christina on the phone and I got to speak to Natalie. She's OK. Christina and Oliver will take her out on a boat trip. This afternoon and they can keep her while we're at hospital. I feel relieved to hear her on the phone. Maybe I'm not alone after all. I suppose what I really need is support; that's what Tobias and I gave each other: support and strength, and a reason to live. I go to the surgery again but there's still no sign of them going out. I try to think it's good sign, they're trying to save him. They will.

I sit in the corridor between The surgery and Adam's room, in the middle of my life, between my husband and my son. I put my knees on the chair and curl up on it. I can't help it, I start crying. I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Tris…Tris are you all right? Matthew called me." I look up and here's Caleb. He sits next to me and takes me in his arms. "You'll be okay, I'll help you with the kids until he gets better. You'll be fine, all of you." He takes my head up "If you can forgive me, I'm still your family. I'm with you."

I just say "Thank you Caleb. Could you wait with me, please?"

He nods "As long as you need."


	36. Chapter 36 : Waiting

**36\. Tris : Waiting**

It's about 6PM when they finally get out of the surgery room. The doctors comes to me straight, I guess he understands I've been sitting here for hours. We've done our best to repair the damage on the stomach and kidney, but he lost so much blood that we don't know how his body can cope with it. We will try to give him better chances by keeping him into coma, for 24 hours from now on. He will be under constant monitoring, so you'd better have some sleep. We'll tell you immediately if anything happens, but this is very unlikely because he's stable now. I hesitate but Caleb put his hand and my shoulder and says "He's right Tris, you'll need to be as fit as possible when he wakes up. And your kids will need you too." He looks at the doctor and asks "By the way, she's pregnant and the last 24 hours were very stressful. Is there a wing were we could make an echography? I think we should check the baby's health."

I turn to him in bewilderment. It's like Caleb turned into someone else, who understands and cares for others. I wonder how and when this happened… I've keeping away from him for too long, I promise myself this won't happen again. The doctor answers "Your friend is right, you should have a scan. If you go to B wing right now, you'll be able to have a scan within the hour. I'll make a note for the doctor Shaw to take you first. And after that, please go and have some sleep. We'll take good care of your husband."

I turn to Caleb "I'll go on my own if you don't mind. I'd like you to stay with Adam while I'm there and after that, we'll go home together." I go back to the room where Adam is still asleep. I come closer to him and give him a kiss on the forehead, and stroke his hair. I turn to Caleb and say "Thank you Caleb, for coming…and…and everything else. I'm glad we're back together."

"I'm happy too." He answers. "Let's hope we make it better from now on." I smile at him "I'm sure we will."

xxx

When I arrive in the B wing of the hospital, I give the note the nurse, sitting at the reception desk. A few minutes later, the doctor arrives. I'm surprised. I didn't expect a woman. She tells me her name is Irene Shaw and she's going to do the scan. She takes me to the ultrasound room. I'm shaking while I take my tee-shirt off. I suddenly realize I shouldn't be here alone…and feel desperate about it, that shouldn't be like this again. I don't have time to think more, because I hear the ultrasound scan beeps ready.

I lie on the exam table and Doctor Shaw rubs the gel on my belly. I notice that it's getting bigger every day. I could not have hidden it much longer, even with abnegation clothing. She turns the scan on and the screen shows the window I've already seen once before, when I was pregnant with the twins. But at that time, I was ill and terrified and they would barely let me see, what was on the screen-I guess I know why now. This time is very different. I feel a pang in my heart when I see the small fetus on the screen. I hear his little heart beating so fast; I definitely remember listening to Natalie's the same way, with an ultrasound that had no screen. I see his little body move... I'm fascinated by the life I'm watching, and at the same time, I can't help thinking. Why do all the good things in our lives have to be shadowed by something sad or wrong? I should be here, hand in hand with Tobias, marveling at our baby, they said I could not have, and I'm not…again. I burst into tears, I can't help it.

Doctor Shaw stops the scan and put her hands on my shoulders. "Hey, Tris, what's wrong? Don't worry about having a baby. There's nothing to fear about having been stressed in the past days, and your baby seems perfect." I shake my head and pull myself up a little. Then I tell her everything, that this baby is my third, and that I've still never managed, to share any part of my pregnancy with their father, first, because we were apart and now because he's in the coma a few yards away in this hospital. I tell her someone took one of my twins away from me during 4 and 1/2 years. I tell her I'm torn between happiness and grief, for the moment in our lives, that's just slipping away beyond our reach.

She takes my hands in hers and says "Know what? I'll give you my private number. When your husband will wake up, call me and I'll arrange this again for you. I promise you'll have your moment with your baby to come. OK? Shall we go on? Would you like to know if it's boy or girl?"

I shake my head and say "Thank you. I think I'll wait to be with the dad to know." She smiles and shows me a little more, before the scan is over. I can't help it I hug her before I leave.

Finally I go back to the surgery wing with a picture of the baby, and a smile on my lips. I find back Caleb and Adam both asleep. I know Caleb didn't sleep much lately. I wake him lightly and say "I'll go and see Tobias for a minute, then we will go home together. I'll call Christina to tell her we come to pick up Natalie on the way. I decided it's time for this family to start rebuilding.

I sit on the edge of Tobias's bed. He looks calm but his skin is still of a worrying white shade, and his hands seem cold to me. I pull the blanket higher on his chest and take one of his hands in mine to let it rest on my belly. I approach my mouth from his ear. I know he must be hearing; I could hear when I was in the coma. I believe that maybe, the news of having a kid, might take him out of here like it did for me years ago. I whisper in his ear "I know it's hard, but you have to wake up. You have a family waiting for you, and there's a little baby growing in here for a few months. He or she, will want a father very soon, so you'd better hurry up. I love you, I want you back." I give him a kiss on the lips and leave, but I'm terrified as ever, that I never see him alive again.


	37. Chapter 37: The kids

**37\. Tris : the kids**

I go back home in the fringe with the kids and everyone takes a shower and gets changed. Natalie is showing her bedroom to Adam, who discovers the games and books stuffed everywhere. They started a difficult puzzle game so I get to speak with Caleb while I prepare something to, eat. There's not much in the kitchen and I have to improvise and go for pasta because it's all I can find easily. I manage to find a can of tomato sauce too and dried herbs in a small box. It won't be that bad after all. There are fruits in a bowl and cheese and yoghurts in the fridge. We won't starve tonight.

I tell Caleb "I think I will move back to our apartment. It's much too far from the hospital here, and I want to be there when he'll wake up. I'll just take what I need for a few days to begin with but I think I'll move the rest very soon."

"Are you sure it's safe?" he responds. I wonder "I suppose that as long as Tobias is in the hospital, they'll find us if they want to, so why not be at home for good?"

"You're probably right." He says.

The phone calls and I hear Matthews voice. He tells me he spent all day cleaning up in the fort with Zeke and George. They've been erasing as much as possible, of our attack's traces. He got his research safely out, and they hid the dead bodies in the morgue in the upper cases, that are unlikely to be opened right now. I ask trembling "How many dead?" I close my eyes, afraid of the answer "Two on our side: Ben and Evelyn, 3 guards shot by Tina and Evelyn and you, and of course, Marcus. The 4 others you shot will live." I feel a little relieved, that's what I have tried to do, stop them shooting, without killing them.

I call the kids, and we eat like family. Adam looks quite uncomfortable. He was never used to share his meals with anyone else but me recently. After dinner is over, I propose that we all go to sleep, because I want to go and see the kids in Dauntless headquarters tomorrow. I let 600 kids out of Fort Sheridan, and I need to find them a new home. Caleb will come with me and the kids. I don't want to leave them alone right now.

xxx

As we arrive at Dauntless headquarters it's an awful mess. I understand that no one really tried to organize anything. My kids find the way to the playroom quite easily though. It's easy because you hear the kids yelling and laughing coming out rather loudly. They would need an erudite to do this but none would settle here. I think Caleb will be of some help today. I try to find someone who could be the leader of what's going on and I spot Amar. He is probably the one who knows this place best and I understand he tried to organize things a bit around here. He greets me from the other end of the pit and we head toward him with Caleb and the kids. "How's it going?" I ask.

"It's been hell, he says, they're so many. We managed to have about a hundred of them leaving with their parents yesterday but we have difficulties in finding the others, we would need some kind of official statement or information for families to know the kids are here. We also need to find a solution for food and clothing, our stocks won't last long."

"Did you keep good record of the kids ID's, and parents addresses?" I ask, suddenly worried about the mess around.

"I tried" says Amar, "But I'd need help. The people around here are not really fit for such job."

"I can help." Says Caleb. "First, I'll give a call to Cara: she will arrange to have a paper in the next daily news, saying we freed the kids and have them here to be given back to their families. After that, I'll help you with the records, I'm an Erudite after all…"

I know I have to go and see Johanna. I must plead for a proper place for all the ones who didn't find parents. I hate it but I have to go. Besides I suppose someone will have to take some responsibility for what happened in Fort Sheridan. I killed people there. I did it to save the kids, but I did anyway. I suddenly realize I'm probably in danger of being arrested and put into jail very soon. I will have to speak about that too.

"I will go and se Johanna Reyes. I think I can get her to help us." I say aloud. "Can you keep Adam and Natalie with you, until I return?"

"I'll keep an eye on them, says Caleb, but be quick."

I go to the training room to tell Adam and Natalie that I'll be out for a few hours, and I'm startled, as I see our former training room, turned into some kind of gigantic playground for kids. It's odd, but it's joyful and lively, as it has probably never been before. Maybe it's a better way to use the punching bags as fake horses and the fighting rings for jumping areas... I can't help feeling a little proud that we got them out of the Fort, even if I'm not sure about how their life will be, from now on. I believe a lot of them are orphans, and those are the ones I'm most worried about.

xxx

As I arrive at the city Council House, I feel a wave of fear down my spine. What if I didn't get out of here? Johanna's been involved in this for years with Marcus, and it might not be so easy to convince her to help. I pray my arguments will be strong enough to leave her no choice. I go straight to Johanna's secretary, and ask for her. At first she says I should have an appointment but I respond "Tell her Tris Eaton is here and it is very urgent I speak to her, it's vital to this city, and I should say it could be vital for her too. I'll wait here, until she's ready to see me." I see on her face that the name Eaton hit right, and she gets up to go in Johanna's office.

I sit on the chairs of what seem to be the waiting room for this wing; She comes backs and says "She'll be ready for you in ten minutes." I retain a satisfied smile. The secretary introduces me in Johanna's office. She attacks first "If you came here to plead for yourself, you're mistaken" she says harshly. I can feel she's uncomfortable though, she's trying to take advantage on me.

"As a matter of fact, I'm not." I respond irritated. "I came here to find a place for all those kids, you helped Marcus to take away from their families and home. Dauntless headquarters are not the best place for them to be after what they've gone through. Of course we'll need some people to take care of them, food, clothes… I thought you'd know best than anyone, since you've been following this for years." She's gone pale and I see her clenching her jaws. I know I can make her bend, and I will. It's time to see if words are stronger than weapons…

"And why on earth would I help? She says. I look at her straight in the eyes. I'm not ashamed about what I'm going to do "For the same reason you helped Marcus: Fear for yourself and state interests. There's a paper about to be released in the morning news tomorrow. It will describe how the Fort Sheridan research compound got on for over 4 years, researching on about 600 live children, under Marcus supervision, and your oblivion."

I pause "But maybe, if you try to do something to repair, we could forget about the casualties you closed your eyes on, and there's still a chance you can keep your seat." She suddenly looks tired and sad. She looks at me and say "Someday, you might be in my position, and you'll see things are not as easy as they seem. Truth is never an easy path and sometimes, there's no good choice, whatever you try to do. I won't say I'm happy about what I did, but I suppose there's no point in talking about that now."

She takes a piece of paper and starts writing on it. "I'll give you an accreditation and a budget line to find a place for the kids. I suppose you're the most qualified for the job, as you know exactly what they've suffered there. I'll ask my secretary to give you the list of the buildings we could use to make a home for them, Tobias had a good idea about this and we started restoring and refurbishing several places. Have a look at DePaul University and Lincoln Park Campus , I think it would be suitable, they're nearly ready to function and we can set a school in." She gives me the paper. "Give this to my secretary when you go out, and wait for the file and accreditation she'll prepare for you. You'll report to me every Tuesday at 11 AM."

She pauses for two seconds. "Goodbye Tris. You were right to free those kids, and I'll try to avoid you and Tobias, having problems about what you had to do to get them out. I'll see you on Tuesday."

I get up and go to the door, not quite believing what just happened.

Before I pass the door I hear "And, Tris… I don't care what's in the newspaper tomorrow. Do what you think is right."

"Goodbye Johanna, and thank you." I respond. I actually feel sad for her.

_**A/N : I promise next chapter will tell you what happen to Tobias…It's a tough one to write, so I take my time to write it, sorry for the waiting. Don't worry, we get near the end of this story line I'll do it as fast as I can but I don't want to spoil it if it's badly written.**_


	38. Chapter 38: Family

**38\. Tobias: Family**

I wake up, and all I see is a blinding light. I feel like I'm inside a cloud, I don't really see anything clearly. I try to speak, but I can't even move my mouth. I feel my body waking up gradually, and I definitely sense a hand in mine. I try to move my fingers and, this time, I manage to move a little, and kind of stroke the hand. "Where am I?" Then I hear her voice. "Tobias, can you hear me?" I feel another hand on my cheek, and I hear the voice "You're awake! Oh my god, Tobias! I must call the doctor immediately, please don't move." I feel the touch on my cheek disappear, and come back a few seconds later." I suppose I'm not dead then.

I hear "It's Tris, can you hear me? Close your eyelids if you hear." I do. I feel her face next to mine. I think it's wet with tears. "Thank you God." She says squeezing my hand "I was so afraid for you." I try to speak again but my jaw won't move. It's like I'm paralyzed; and I'm still in a white cloud, even if I think I can see darker shadows moving now. What if I'm like this forever?

"Don't move or speak if you can't." Says her soft voice next to my ear, "You're back, that's all I need for now." I feel her hand stroke my cheek… and stop when the door opens. I hear new voices in the room, one man and two women. I suppose my hearing is a sense that was not destroyed by whatever happened to me. Yes…What happened to me by the way? I try to recall something… I remember the explosion in the tower…I had to go to Marcus, I open the door of his office… and…it's blank. I wish I could speak, as a dozen questions form in my mind, but I suppose this will have to wait too. The voices ask me questions, I answer by closing my eyelids once for no, and twice for yes. They basically try to know what I can do with my body or not. The man explains that I will regain my strength within 2 days or so, with the special treatment they will give me. He also says that it will be much longer for my view to come back, he speaks about a head trauma that could take up to several weeks to heal. They suppose my head hit something when I fell on the ground.

This lasted only minutes, but the effort I have to do to concentrate is exhausting. I feel my eyes closing slowly and I don't get the strength to open them again. The doctor seems to notice my weariness, and says he'll come back later after I had a rest. I hear him distantly, giving instructions about injections, but I'm already drifting away…

xxx

I wake up again and I feel her hand in mine. I wish I knew, how long I've been lying in here… and how long she's been watching over me. At least I believe my brain is working properly. I try to speak. My jaw moves this time and I manage to utter "Tris?" I believe she wakes up and says "Tobias, you're awake. Good." I feel her hand stroking my face gently. I make a big effort to speak again. "Tell …what…happened."

"Ok" she says. "I suppose now is as good as later. First you have to know that I am fine and Natalie and Adam too. They're at home safe. For the rest, I'll make it short, but there are things you have to know. We managed to get all the kids out, but…but there was a shooting downstairs and… and I'm sorry, but Evelyn was killed. She was trying to protect the kids… I came back too late from Marcus office to help. I'm really sorry Tobias." She pauses, still holding my hand tight. I can feel she's crying, as I feel the drops on my hand. I close my eyes… I feel tears welling up too.

"When I got back upstairs after Marcus closed the doors, I found you in Marcus office, in a pool of blood. I believe you shot each other when you tried to make him open the doors. I thought I'd lost you but you were still breathing faintly. Matthew helped me save you with blood transfusions from Adam and one of the tower guards. Marcus is dead though. He already was when I found you both." Strangely I don't feel anything about killing my father right now. It's like he was already dead to me. I suppose my mind is not very clear though. I feel strangely empty, both my parents are dead. I can't really conceive the idea in my blurred mind, and I don't know what to say either. So I stay silent.

I hear anxiety in her voice when she asks "Are you all right? Maybe I shouldn't have told you so early. We should resume this chat later I guess."

"No." I say, squeezing her hand. "Go on. How long…since…then." My throat is dry and I start coughing helplessly. Tris puts a straw in my mouth and starts lifting the bed a little. I drink and thank her with a nod. I feel terrible because I'm so useless. I hate being a burden, I hate being weak.

Tris follows "They left you in artificial coma for 24 hours but you've taken another 2 days to wake up really. Caleb was a great help in the last few days. He changed a lot you'll see. I was really worried when you were in the coma, I tried to wake you up by talking but I suppose it was not interesting enough. Anyway, they say you can only get better from now on."

There's one last important thing I must tell you. I believe it's good news. I'd better show you like this." She says. At the same time, she puts my hand on her belly and I feel some bulge under my hand. I feel a mix of joy and fear filling my chest.

"I couldn't tell you when I was inside the fort, I was too afraid Marcus would find out. I've known only for a few weeks. They told me it was impossible years ago… but I'm pregnant. I haven't told the kids yet." This time I can't help crying and smiling at the same time…I lift my other hand to wipe the tears but she grabs it and I sense her fingers intertwining mine as she leans over to kiss me. I kiss her desperately but my arms are still too weak for me to lift and touch her face. I whisper in a kiss "We'll do right…this time."

"I know." She says. I just forget everything else as we kiss, but the bliss that I feel inside right now. Jeez I love her so much!

I don't care how weak after all, I'm glad I'm not dead.


	39. Chapter 39: Looking further

_**A/N**_

_**Hello guys. Thank you for your reviews. I read them when I wake up (my time here is UTC) and they make my day. Cheeky lil Monkey and Naynay2014 you're supporting so much, it helps me find time to write.**_

_**Crazybooklover7676: your interesting suggestion about Tobias's blindness occurred to me too and I've been considering it for a few days. In fact I thought about it when I wrote the chapter, even if it is not my storyline at the moment. Therefore, this would alter the rest of my story a lot, so I'm still weighing it. I also see that you kinda explore this path yourself (I haven't read it yet but I will soon) and I wouldn't like going on someone else's track if it has no sense to my story.**_

_**It's still open then!**_

**_THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU_**

**39\. Tris: Looking further**

I've been visiting Tobias every day over the last 2 week with the kids, and the doctor said he can leave the hospital tomorrow. His wound healed very well, but for a still bad looking scar, but the doctor says it will get better, after a few months. And God knows I've been through this before, so I know he's right.

The hospital bedroom was depressingly white and quiet, so I came up with a few games from the kids last week and we've been playing cubes, cards and riddles in the room for hours. We had a good laugh playing, and the kids love the idea of cheering up their dad a bit. I believe they make it for the cube tower game quite often because, Tobias is actually bound to lose as he always knocks the pile at some point, when it gets high.

I wouldn't have thought, I could find something positive in this, but it actually made our family grow stronger over the past few days. I believe Adam feels like a hero, because his dad is so proud that he gave his blood to save him, like he was a grown up person. He has actually taken his father comfort in charge, keeping an eye on everything in the room, filling water, checking bed sheets and food temperature (with his finger though) for Tobias. I can't help smiling when I see him doing the little nurse. Natalie on her side is spending most of her time either on her father's bed or in his lap. I still wonder if I can find a hole in her schedule so I can get to hug him too. Since he's getting up a little now, she has also turned into his blind guide to move around the room.

I must admit I'm melting away as I see them going on so well. It might not be like this all the time I know, as I notice that Natalie and Adam have already started to yell and argue, or even fight over the games and the pencils at home, and I'm sure she kicked him yesterday. This will be the real life, and I'm not so confident in how we'll deal with this, with me being pregnant and Tobias blind for weeks.

I've been working on the mission Johanna gave me to find a proper home for the kids. I finally chose the place she told me about: DePaul University. It should be ready within 1 week so if I can get the furniture on time it will be ready quite soon. I've been there and the Lincoln Park next to the buildings will be perfect too. I received a big file in last Monday's mail and I had the big surprise to find a job contract in it. Johanna created a position for me in the "Youth and Childhood" department. I get head of the new "Children's Home project" with a comfortable budget line and a mission to set up a home for 500 to 1000 kids in the end. I understand that I can spend the money to make it, and I will also supervise the staff recruiting. It just thrills me to feel really useful again. I try mainly to work at home or at the hospital, except when I need to go to DePaul, to check something or supervise a delicate task. I managed to bargain well on the furniture yesterday, and I believe there will be enough left to have a medical wing too. I've noticed that kids seem to keep bumping into things, tripping on branches and falling over or hitting all sort of obstacles which never bother any adult. I've also noticed they tend to taste and eat anything, looking like food or not.

I'm so excited about it, that I keep telling Tobias about every move I make in this and I often ask for his advice, but today I feel something bothers him as he doesn't respond my question about the opportunity to refurbish the gym and the library right now. I put my file down on the table and come to sit next to him. "What's wrong?" I ask, "You've been only groaning for half an hour and I know you are worried about something. Tell me."

"No really." He says, his eyes lost in vague. "I'm just tired." I don't like seeing his beautiful deep blue eyes empty. I turn my gaze before I cry. "Tobias Eaton, how many times do I have to tell you, that you're a terrible liar?" I respond "I give you a second chance."

"I'm worried about coming home like this. I can't take care of myself, I can't eat properly or wash myself alone and we have two excited kids to handle, and a baby to come. My parents are dead, like yours, and I feel useless, where I should help you…I can't even see you…I…" I stop him with my finger on his mouth. "Hey, what do you think? I've been thinking about it. I found help. You might not like it, but Caleb will move in for a few weeks, until your sight comes back. I suppose he will be able to help me with the kids as he's been practicing a lot about handling kids in Dauntless, these days." He flinches.

"I knew you wouldn't like it, but Christina is trying to build a new life with Oliver, and don't want to bother her more than I already did right now. So I guess it will be Caleb for a while. He's all what's left of my old family. He might teach a few things to the kids,… and maybe to you if you don't punch him."

"He's lucky I won't be able to aim." He responds.

"After I have put all the kids safe, I promise you, that we'll take care of ourselves, just the four of us and the baby. It's time we think about names, before the kids come up with a nice one of their creation. Did I tell you they suggested ice cream and lullaby this week?"

He laughs and I do too, but I can see he's still worried.


	40. Chapter 40: Doubts

**40\. Tobias: Doubts**

I sit on the couch and I feel terrible. I've been here two days, and it's hell already. I thought I would be happy to be home again, because the hospital drove me mad, like an animal in a cage. During the last days, I believed I was about to break everything in the room from desperation. I haven't seen any difference in my sight and I'm very worried about it, whatever the doctor would say. We are back in our apartment in the city, because Tris thought it would be easier for me and the kids. In a way, she's right: no stairs, no dangerous garden (and surroundings) and limited accesses… It's also pretty small for 5, and I keep bumping into something or someone except Caleb, who's wise enough to avoid me most of the time. I realize I've never been like this, unable to do what I would like to, trapped in a body that has betrayed me.

I manage to play a little with the kids, but they get bored very quickly, because I'm so limited by my blindness. I can't even draw with them or read a book. There's only one game where I can challenge them: blind man's buff… and it's no fun for me.

In fact, I discovered it is one thing to be useless in a hospital, where you're taken care of, but it's far worse when you're at home where you've been used to actually make things around. I can't even read the papers and follow what's happening in the city. I try to listen to the radio or TV but I feel frustrated, not being able to actually do anyhting. I stuck the cane Tris gave me in the closet, where I usually store the rubbish I don't want to think about.

Most of all, I wish I could see them: my kids and my wife… I fear that something wrong might happen to them, because I haven't seen something coming…Will Tris trust me as before, and rely on me as she used to, now that I'm weak? What if I'm like this forever and never see them growing up? Will I forget their very face over the years? I think I just let go as I feel tears roll on my cheeks not being really aware of it. I can't help punching hard on the coffee table in front of me. I guess the shock makes the mugs collapse on the floor with an awful noise. I don't know what wakes me up most, from the wreckage I imagine, or the little voice I hear next to me.

"Daddy, are you okay?" says Natalie. "Why do you cry? Are you hurt?"

"No I'm fine." I say. "I was just upset darling." When she sits on my lap I feel her hand on my cheek wiping my tears and Adam comes too and takes my free hand."

I feel ashamed of myself. I won't let it happen again.

xxx

I feel relieved when Tris gets back, about 20 minutes later. She usually tries to stay at home, but for her weekly meeting with Johanna, and a few control visits to the home to be. It was Johanna's meeting today.

She finds me on the couch with Adam on one knee and Natalie on the other. They're watching TV and speak aloud what happens on the screen for me. I don't get anything from their constant babbling, but we're all happy about this moment.

"I see you're going on well here." She says merrily. _So you think_. Ready for lunch everyone? I have the sausages you like, but that'll cost you a kiss... The kids instantly run to her, then she adds "You give me ten minutes to prepare everything and please, both of you wash hands immediately!"

I wonder if she frowns saying this… I stand up and get myself into the kitchen, following the lines of the furniture to guide myself: coffee table… couch… armchair… shelf… table. I know if I turn back I should find Tris, working with pans and washing vegetables from the sound of it. I extend my arm to touch hers "How was it?" I ask. I feel her stop her work.

"I have great news. I'll tell you after lunch." And she plants a kiss on my mouth. I risk hands around her waist to feel her belly, even if she keeps telling me it's too early for the baby to move yet. I kiss her neck and, for a second, I want her badly but I pull back. It's not the time…and maybe it won't be for a while.

I hear the kids coming back from the bathroom and Adam takes my hand to help me get to my chair. Tris sets the table silently. I refrain from blowing the plates up, when I feel Tris approaching to cut my meat, after she finishes the kid's. I manage to go through the lunch, hiding my rage and despair.

After lunch, Tris negotiates a nap for the kids, in exchange for a park walk with them both, later on. She goes in the bedroom they share for few minutes, to put them to bed and, when we're finally alone, we make some tea and go sit on the couch. She immediately turns to me and I'm right squared. "What's wrong Tobias? What Happened?"

"Nothing. I just dropped a mug." I hear anger in her voice when she responds "You promised not to lie to me. Your kids don't actually. Tell me how you blew up all that's on the coffee table."

"You know my sight is not coming back at all. That kills me…I feel useless, I can't watch over my own kids." I clench my fists not to punch anything. "I'm afraid I could stay like that forever."

"C'mere." She says pulling my head on her lap. "You know the doctor said it might be longer than he expected at first. You can't rush those things, no matter how hard you try, I know it well." She starts stroking my hair.

"I was the same when I was paralyzed, before I got the hip prosthesis. At first, I thought I would stay like this forever. I didn't even want to move the wheelchair for a while. I was scared to death about raising a child alone, without being able to walk and obliged to hide… without my parents or any friends around…" I hear pain in her crackling voice. My heart clenches. "Without Natalie, I might have died from despair, but today, I know it was worth holding on."

I realize we never got to speak about that part of her life without me. I feel it's still painful for her and I suppose, I can't imagine how she must have felt. I believe she gave me a glimpse of it.

"You think. I'm being selfish, isn't it?" I say brushing my hand against hers.

"No you're not. But I want you to stop thinking that you're useless."

"What was the great news you were talking about?" I ask to change the subject. I believe she understands, and maybe she also needs to speak about something else.

"I got Johanna's Go, to start the recruiting. It will remember me my former job. I insisted that I pick up the people myself and she agreed… I've been thinking maybe you could help me. You've been a Dauntless instructor and a leader too, so I suppose you have a better ability, to know what's inside people. I could read the applications to you and we could discuss them together. What do you think?"

I think over it for a minute and it sounds pretty interesting to me. She's right, I can do that. "I'd love to do that with you." I respond "But I'll come for the interviews too..."

"Done then!" she says happily."I have a big pile of CV's to read so you'd better have a rest while I do that."

I realize I feel tired, even if don't know why. Just before falling asleep I have a striking idea "Make sure you take an ex-Dauntless cook, they're definitely the best."

She laughs.

_**A/N : Now do you think Tobias should be blind forever ? I'm still weighing it so please let me know how you feel about it.**_

_**Thanks for your reviews. Please Go on!**_

_**NayNay2014, I'll let you know if I'm stuck with the children's home. I've known a bit of that myself for a short while. But I don't know if I'll explain too much about how it's like in this story as I don't intend it to last for ages. I'll see how it goes on with this plot line.**_

_**If not, I might consider a sequel if some of you ask for it.**_


	41. Chapter 41: Team work

**41\. Team work**

**Tris POV**

I look at the piles of CVs on the table. I must start by making a plan of the house staff, along with the number of people needed for each post. Caleb prepared charts for me, where I can find the number of staff required, depending of the number of children that will be in the home. This is brilliant Erudite's job; I must remind telling him tonight. I decide I will have 250 children for a start. Caleb told me they have about 230 children left in Dauntless headquarters, to whom they haven't found any living relatives until now.

I start making piles with the letters and CV's for each type of job available: teachers, assistants, cooks, cleaning team, nurses…I also put apart a few profiles of doctors, with child psychologist aptitudes, even if Caleb did not put it on the list. I think we might need one, though. Marcus evil treatments might have damaged some of those kids…I hope not beyond repair. I suddenly think about what he told me about Adam having accidentally killed some other kid…or kids? I feel sick. I had buried this deep inside of me. I will have to talk about this with Tobias. Later.

I'm buried in my task so much that I don't notice when Tobias wakes up. I jump when he says "How's it going?" I give a look at the piles of CVs on the table and some of them are not very high. I hope we'll find enough staff anyway. I say "I've found a good amount of interesting profiles. Are you fit enough for a reading session?"

I turn my computer on, and start making a list of the candidates, along with columns for my rating observations and Tobias's. By the time Adam and Natalie wake up, we've gone through nearly all of them, making choices, and I believe my head's a pumpkin. Tobias seems pretty well though. But he got a nap while I was reading all the applications…

I prepare a break for the kids before getting them up, and I suggest to Tobias that we go for the walk in the park that I promised them earlier. I see Tobias hesitating. "C'mon" I say. "You're not paralyzed! I'll guide you, so we'll get to hold my hand all the time… do I have to talk about that wonderful body you need to take care of?" I add putting my hands around his waist. He surrenders when I kiss him - _I do like this so much_. And we go to the park.

xxx

We come back home at 6.30 and I buy some pizzas on the way because it's late and I won't have time to cook after giving the bath to the kids. I also would like to have time left the finish selecting the candidates for the interviews. While I'm bathing the kids, the phone rings. Tobias comes to the door with the phone in his hand. "It's Caleb. He says he won't come back for dinner and maybe not before tomorrow morning. He's in the middle of something vital in the lab….and he insists that we don't leave the apartment before he's back…He look puzzled "But why Caleb? Caleb what's going on?"

I understand Caleb hanged up.

Adam and Natalie go to bed straight after dinner because they have been in the playground so long in the park that they are exhausted. I clean the kitchen table and wash the plates. I feel Tobias coming behind me. I know he's going to put his hands on my belly again. He's being obsessed with feeling the baby move since we go home. I wonder if it is because he can't see it growing. I say "I told you..." "It doesn't move yet. I know." He finishes. "I want him… or her, to know I'm here anyway." When he starts kissing my neck I feel like my resolutions for work might evaporate, if I don't make a move. And God knows work is not what I would favor first choice right now…

Tobias, I want to finish my work. If you're tired, just go to sleep, I'll join you later.

"No, I promised I would help. I'll finish this with you." He says pulling back from me. I make some tea and we sit back in the living room and I start reading what's left of my first selection of staff members. When we're over, we selected a few more people than I need, so I suppose it will allow me to make the best choice for the home.

**Tobias POV**

I hear she's clearing the files and I believe this time is as good as another one. I dive in. "How is it to have a child growing in you?"

I've been wondering this for days and I feel frustrated I was not here when she was pregnant last time.

"It's not very real at the beginning, unless you get nausea in the morning, which is really bad. I didn't have too much for myself. After that you feel your body change a lot and I suppose that you really realize it's here, when you can see it on the screen with the ultrasound " _He can't see, you stupid_! I go on quickly "It's strange to think that the baby eats, drinks with you and hears everything you say and hear. But I suppose the best part comes when it actually moves in you. You'll be able to feel it too you'll see. And you know that they can recognize their parent's voices and sometimes remember music they heard in utero?" I'm quite jealous, this is something I'll never get to know.

I stay silent and she notices I'm upset. "Hey, cheer up! It's not supposed to be sad you know. And in the last month you feel like a whale anyway, and you pray it will give you back your body." She says taking my hand. "Let's go to bed, I think I will get up early tomorrow to make appointments with all these people. Thank you for helping. I think we make a pretty good team you and me."

When I slip into the bed I feel her hands on my chest. "I thought I could have a check on that body." She says. She starts drawing circles on my chest with her fingers and kisses me.I feel that I'm about to surrender, but I feel her belly on my side and I pull her back. We have not been intimate for months, since she got trapped in the Fort in fact, and I'm afraid to hurt her or the baby. I'm afraid of being blind to.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I upset you? I'm sorry." I don't want her to think that. "No it's because, you know with the baby…"

She laughs. "There's nothing to fear. He's well buried inside." And she starts kissing me. I feel her hand reaching for my back, running up and down my spine. I find myself reading her body with my hands. I follow her jaw line, my fingers run down her neck… I feel her scar and the tattooed skin on her clavicle. I feel the bullet wound on her hip, I feel the curve of the little ball growing inside her…and I can see her in my mind. It's a strange feeling, not like actually seeing her,… but somehow it's very intense and my self control melts anyway.

xxx

I hear someone opening the door and it wakes me up. I still have my arms around her. I still don't see her, but it does not matter. I feel strong now.

I hear hurried knocks on the door and Caleb enters in the room without waiting for the answer. I barely have time pull the blanket over our naked bodies correctly. He doesn't seem to care though and seems close to hysteria. Sorry guys but you have to get up right know, it's very urgent. Tobias, get dressed hurry up! I'm sorry, I'll explain on the way.

I'm worried, ashamed and annoyed at the same time "Caleb, can you please go out while we get dressed ….And where the hell are we going to at 6 AM? "

"Hospital. You Tobias, come to the hospital with me." He responds from the living room "Tris can stay with the kids and I'll give her a call when we get there. Time's getting short…hurry!" He opens the door again and asks "Where are your medications? We need to have them with us, but don't take any before we get there."

"In the bathroom" I respond, but I'm getting really annoyed and I don't want to leave with him, not even knowing why. "Caleb, I'm going nowhere with you if you don't tell me more."

He pauses for a sec and speaks right in my ear in a muffled voice "Okay. I think maybe I found out why your sight doesn't come back. We must go to the hospital to be sure, and if I'm right, we must do it now, if you want to ever see again. Maybe it's too late already."

I don't respond. I get back inside the room and find out Tris fell back asleep. I stroke her cheek and say "Tris, I have to go to the hospital with Caleb. We call you later on OK. Don't worry, everything's fine." I kiss her and she nods half in her sleep.

_**A/N : Sorry there's not much action in this chapter. I plan on a big update this week-end. You'll get answers but maybe questions too…**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK**_


	42. Chapter 42: On the edge of things

_**A/N : Here we go…this is where we learn how Tobias may find his eyes back…or not**_

_**I tried to make it realistic** ...that's for **crazybooklover7676 ;-)**. ** I made some research for this part of the plot line. Sorry if it's too technical or boring.**_

**42\. Tobias: On the edge of things**

We get into Caleb's car and once we're out of the parking, he starts explaining "Cara and I are working on a personal project of mine, and I spent some time in the lab with her. Lately, I decided to try and find out why you were still blind, so she offered me to research with me in the Erudite's library a lot, and I believe we came across something. We read about temporary blindness due to anti-epilepsy drugs side effects. I could not check your blood for AEDs, but I think maybe you're poisoning yourself without knowing it. If I'm right, you have to stop the medication immediately and maybe take something to neutralize the drug.

I'm stunned and I can't help asking "Why on earth would you want to help me? I've been angry with you for over 4 years…"

"I have changed. First you must remember, Tris, and the kids now, are my only family left, just like they're yours. When she came back, I promised myself I would never let her down again. She nearly died last time. Second, I think I discovered that knowledge in itself is nothing if you don't use it to really help. And third, I don't dislike you as much as you think."

I suddenly feel bad for beating him cold over the last years… In addition, I'm the one who punched him. I suppose I had so much prejudice against him, that I didn't see him change. Or maybe it's because I've been avoiding him as much as I could... I just answer "I don't dislike you as much as I seem to." After a few seconds, I add "I want you to know that I appreciate your help, for the Fort and everything you did since. I'm just not that comfortable having you at home with us…" He laughs.

"I'm not either, but you know she needed help. And I'm doing my share to help you two getting rid of me, don't you think?"

"Guess so." I answer.

xxx

As soon as we get at the hospital, Caleb goes straight to the second floor and I hear, he explains something to the nurse at the desk. She answers quickly to him, and after a few minutes, a woman approaches me.

"Mr. Eaton, I will take you to the exam room where we will take blood samples for the tests. Take my arm, I'll lead you." I get up and follow her. When we get to the room she takes me to a big armchair where I sit.

"You're not afraid of needles are you?" She asks with a soft voice. _You wouldn't believe how many times I injected myself with serum._ I nearly smile when I think of it "No. I'm very comfortable with it." I respond. She proceeds and takes several blood samples from me. Then she drives me back to the waiting room, and says the doctor will come back when we get your results in about half an hour.

While we wait, I ask Caleb about the projects he's working on with Cara. "It's something personal, I can't speak about it until it's finished. It's meant to be a surprise." I need to speak about something to forget my angst so I ask "Are you just friends with Cara? You seem to have spent so much time with her lately…I mean do you actually…like her?" I feel he froze or something. I regret that I hurt him, when he's trying to be nice, but he responds "Why would you care about what I think? I mean, are we supposed to make friends?"

I feel easy to answer him "In fact, I thought we might try. You don't have many friends do you?" I would swear he's crying because I hear a tissue's noise, but he just says "If we're getting friends now, can you tell me how to date with Cara?"

This time, I laugh frankly and answer "Are you serious? I believe Zeke would be better than me for that. I've always been a disaster with girls… other than Tris I mean, but she's different. I made them run away in minutes."

Caleb seems to give it a thought and says "I think I'd prefer your help anyway. But maybe it's not the place." I respond, let's say that I'll offer you a drink later? And if you get me my eyes back I'll treat you with the best."

"Done!" He says laughing. "But please, if we get drunk, don't ever call me Cal."

I smile.

After that pretty strange chat, I need to change the subject. I decide to call Tris, because I'm not sure she got it all, when we left this morning…she was so sleepy. It happens that I had a brilliant idea because she was going frantic in waiting. "Tobias where are you? Why did you leave with Caleb at dawn? I'm getting mad!"

I explain her quickly where we are but I just say that Caleb suspected something to be wrong with my treatment and wanted me to check with the doctor. I don't want to give her false hopes. I tell her that I'll call back after the test results. I have to hang up anyway because the doctor arrives and invites me into his office. "Hello. I'm Dr. Wood. I'm the one who took care of you when you first came here after you got injured. Get in please Mr. Eaton, will your friend come with us?"

"Yes please." I say. The doctor leads me to a seat and I understand Caleb takes the other. He clears down his throat and starts.

"You suffer from a cortical blindness; we know that for sure since you woke up. It means the loss of vision in a normal-appearing eye. It's caused by damage to the brain's occipital cortex. Cortical blindness can be transient in cases of head trauma and that's what we thought you had. In fact, it probably was at first. But it appears your friend here, discovered that your pathology may have changed because of us. During the surgery, you had an epilepsy crisis and we gave you anti-epilepsy drugs. You have been actually taking them non-stop, since that time, because we feared you would have other crises as long as the trauma was not completely reduced. Do you follow me Mr. Eaton?"

"Yes." I respond though I don't really know where all this is going.

The doctor goes on. "What happened is that, under certain instances, cortical blindness is a side effect of the anti-epilepsy drugs as your friend here found out. I'm sorry we didn't see that coming, it would be the first time I actually see it. We will stop the medication immediately and keep you here for 48 hours to see if your sight's improving. If it does, you'll be able to go home until full recovery. We believe you'll be able to get you sight back, as the quantity of AEDs in your blood has not risen too high. It's a good thing we had a quick notice. Do you have any questions?"

"Is there any medication that can reverse the anti-epilepsy drugs' effects? I mean, if just stopping it does not work…"

"No." He says. "We can just hope that it works to stop it, and wait. The nurse will show you to your room. You should ask someone to bring you a few clothes and personal things. I'll come back to see you in the afternoon for a few tests, and we'll make them twice everyday to follow if there's s any progress."

When we leave the doctor's office, I have a mixed feeling of wild hope and terrible fear in my chest.

_**A/N : If some of you have wishes or ideas about the baby's gender and name, I'll have your suggestions…It will be first time Tobias will be able to choose his kid's name in this story after all. I think it should have a special meaning for them.**_


	43. Chapter 43: Phone calls

**_A/N : Sorry guys, this one won't be about Tobias. There are other characters in this story !_**

**_Thank you all for your reviews, they help me knowing if that story's worth something._**

**_Kate I'm really proud that you appreciate my story so much; thank you for writing it to me._**

**_PLEASE DON'T STOP TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK!_**

**43\. Tris: Phone calls**

I didn't wake up completely when Tobias left with Caleb but this time, his phone call really did. I felt there was something he didn't tell me about, but I couldn't find out before he hanged up. I have to go to the hospital with the kids later and I'll get it out of him, whatever it takes. I got up at seven and I haven't had a minute since, because Adam and Natalie have been hell. They have spilled stuff everywhere in the apartment from puzzle pieces to bricks and cubes, and even dangerous marbles I nearly stumbled over twice. I got mad at them for the marbles, because I don't want to fall and hurt the baby, and they were punished in their room. Adam yelled and put his bed in a mess, and got another 15 minutes punished on his own.

I'm now preparing breakfast for everybody, and I believe everyone's calmed down now, even if the living room is still in an awful mess. I think we will have to find a new place very soon. I like this apartment a lot, but it's getting too small for us, even when Caleb will leave. This was the good thing about the house in the Fringe, there was a garden with a slide and a swing, just like in the park. I wish we could find this in the city somewhere. I'll have to talk about this with Tobias soon…

I'm in the middle of dressing Natalie up when the phone rings. It's Christina, she sounds excited as I've never heard her "Hi Tris, can we talk right now? I have something huge coming… I have to tell you, can I pop up?" I have a glimpse of our mess of a living room but it's Chris, she won't care. "Yes of course… I'll be at home this morning, I just have phone calls to give…, but what happened, is it good Chris? Tell me something…"

"I can't tell you on the phone. I'll be right there okay?" I hang up in deep wonder and go on with getting the kids ready, so I can remove the marbles before Christina arrives.

xxx

The door bell rings and Natalie runs to open it. I shout "Natalie no! I told you many times, that I first have to check who it is, before opening the door." I check that it is actually an overexcited Christina out there and I unlock the door. Natalie hugs her straight and I let her in and sit on the couch. I get the armchair because I feel my back is better in there with my belly getting bigger every day.

"OK." I say while I bring some tea for both of us "I'm dying…What's the big thing, don't make me wait." She's wearing black jeans and jacket with a white tee-shirt, she always liked candor-colors, but I notice her untidy hair and she has no make-up. That's very unusual for her, so I guess she left in a hurry. She's got the biggest smile I've seen on her face for ages, so I believe this must be about Oliver, but I don't want to ruin whatever surprise she's prepared on the way here. "OK look!" she says showing her hand to me so I can see a nice square diamond on it. "He proposed yesterday, I'm getting married!" at that point, she's close to hysterical…and I understand why.

I hug her "Oh Chris I'm so happy for you both. I really wish you a long happy life together. And nothing better than a nice beautiful wedding, to cheer us up!. When do you plan to do it?"

In fact that's a little bit part of my visit: we were planning end of September, but I definitely want to have you on top form next to me, so maybe you'll find it's too late…"

I'm so moved that she had such a delicate thought about me, that I feel my eyes watering. "No problem Chris. It's your day, I won't be a whale at 6 months yet…At least I hope so. But please do not expect me to dance, or do any stupid Dare games. I would not miss that for anything you know." I pause. "And… you know I'm useless for fashion and style stuff, but if you ever need me for anything, I'd love to help… I could even go for some shopping with you if you need to."

She hugs me. "I knew I could trust you in this. I'll prepare it with my mom and sister too, but I'd really like your advice on a few things. Thank you!" She looks like she's about to go. "By the way, I have to go and see my mother she still doesn't know. I'll call you tonight." And she runs out of the room like a little storm.

xxx

I take my files and I start to phone the candidates we selected for the children's home staff. I turned the TV on, because I don't want the kids to fight or anything while I work. I'll take them to the park before lunch. I'd like to meet the selected ones on Friday or next Monday, so we would start operating the home next week. I manage to arrange my interviews quite well and and I just have a few more calls to give when the phone rings. It's Johanna Reyes. "Hello Tris. I'm sorry to call you at home but it's important. I'd like to speak to you both in private. Would you mind if I come and visit you, say on Friday 6PM? I know you might not like me in your home, but I can't do this in the City hall."

My mind races to try and figure out what she wants, that cannot be spoken in the City hall. "Uh, yes…I guess so, but Tobias had to go back to the hospital today for a checkout so I'll confirm that after it's over, OK?"

"Fine." She answers. "And please don't forget to ask him about the funeral too, remember?" I freeze. I totally forgot about it, stupid! I respond feeling uncomfortable "Yes, of course, I'll find the right time to ask him and let you know what he decides." I hang up feeling bad. He was so depressed when I got home yesterday, that I totally forgot. Johanna has been asking me about what Tobias would want for his parents' funeral. They're still keeping Marcus and Evelyn bodies in the Fort Sheridan morgue and something must be done soon. We have not spoken about it when Tobias what in hospital because it was difficult enough for him but maybe this will be good for him to say goodbye to his parents properly, whatever their lives together – and apart - have been.

I didn't get to have a funeral for my parents, and I really don't know what I would have wanted. I really have to find an appropriate time to ask him.

**_A/N : I PROMISE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE ONE! STAY ON THE WATCH !_**


	44. Chapter 44: Moving on

**_A/N : Here it is! Sorry I had to change POV in this chapter, I don't like it too much. Hope it won't be too difficult to understand._**

**_After that, I'll have to work for the rest of the week end so it'll be the last update in a few days. Lots of time for your reviews ;-)_**

**44\. Moving on  
**

**Thursday**

**Tobias POV**

This day doesn't seem to ever go on. I feel I've been here a month already. Tris came yesterday afternoon and It helped a little. She gave me the good news about Christina and I really feel happy for her. She deserves a happy life of her own. And Oliver is a very nice guy. The other good thing about him, is that he doesn't belong to our former world as he came from outside. I think it's better for her, there's no way he will remind her too much of Will or Uriah. They can really move on.

Tris also told me that Johanna would like to speak with us, tomorrow evening. I'd like to know why, because I'm really puzzled. If it was just to fire me, she could do it at the City hall and she would not need Tris to be there. I tried to imagine a lot of various issues yesterday, but I ran out of ideas by the time I fell asleep. I have to stop thinking and get ready, it must be nearly time for the second test because the nurse left about an hour ago I'd say. I hear the familiar rumble in the corridor that announces the doctor's visit. I can't help feeling a huge wave of hope growing in my chest.

The test lasts about half an hour, I've run through it twice yesterday. I know it by heart already and I know it starts with an eye examination then the doctor checks my eye mobility and my reactions to various light stimuli. I take my glasses off to let him carry on with the external examination, but I can't help a gasp: I see a difference in the shades of light that was not here yesterday.

"What is it Mr Eaton?" says the doctor "Do you see something."

I hesitate "I don't see, really… but I can discern some different light intensities, and shadows too. Is there a window back on the left?"

"Yes there is." Says the doctor. "Can you tell me what you see right now?" He asks. I respond that I believe I see three fingers. Then the examination goes on. I successively distinguish a small light making circles, a bigger one flashing three times and one alternatively, and a lot of others stuff… When I think it's over I can't help asking "Does it sound good?"

"We will need to check this tonight but your sight definitely improved since yesterday. We are going to monitor your progress in the next days, but I would certainly say you are slowly regaining your sight. It might not get back to what it was though.

I feel a burst of relief in my whole body. The only thing I can think about right know is: I must tell Tris. I just say "Thank you. Could I give a call to my wife please?"

xxx

I'm happy to be back home. This time I really am. I will soon be able to see some colors, says the doctor. I definitely owe Caleb one.

Today 5PM has been the best time in months, when Dr. Wood confirmed that I was regaining my sight…slowly but surely. I will finally be able to see my family. Tris prepared a family party with the kids, just the four of us-I'll have to thank Caleb properly. They baked a cake and got drinks.

After the kids were in bed, we were sitting on the couch when she asked me about the funeral for my parents; I will have to think about it but I feel I don't want something special. I believe I just want to forget Marcus. I still don't know about Evelyn, I don't really feel she's dead yet.

I think Tris notices that speaking about my parents made me sad. "I'm sorry." She says stroking my cheek "But you have to make a decision about it, and I really did not find any good occasion to speak about that before." And after a pause she goes "We don't have to end the day like this though." I feel her hand take mine and she leads me to our bedroom, where she starts kissing me. Yes, it's a pretty good way to end this day.

xxx

**Friday**

**Tris POV**

I hear the bell ring so I hurry to put Natalie and Adam in their PJ's, I want them to play quietly while we speak. I hear that Tobias lets her in and I join him as fast as I can, as I don't want to leave Tobias alone with her. I will have to admit that I am afraid of his reactions sometimes; he has never been so good at mustering the violence he holds in himself. I remember him punching Drew savagely. I believe we can blame his father for this.

"Sorry." I say, "Hello Johanna." "No problem really" She answers "I'm sorry to invade your home. I won't be long. I want to talk to you about something I plan to do." I notice we're all standing there. "Please have a seat" I say.

"Thank you." She says sitting on the armchair. I make to the couch holding Tobias's hand so we seat together in front of her."

**Tobias POV**

She starts. "As you know Tris, I have done things in the past years I'm not very proud of. I thought that helping you fix everything would make it easier for me to go on but it doesn't. And most of all I regret what I did to you both I believe you will never be able to forgive me for that." I open my mouth but she stops me with a wave. "Don't say anything. I can't forgive myself either." She just says that like a fact she acknowledged. "I don't know what blinded me like this but I lost all wisdom when Marcus got me into this. I knew it was wrong, but I thought that I was allowed to do it for the good of everyone, state reason or whatever you want to call it." And after a short pause she adds "Anyway this is why I decided to resign, no one knows yet. I'll make the announcement in two weeks from now and I'll be gone by the end of august."

I think we're both wondering why she bothers to tell us all this and none of us says anything. I hear Tris's voice "But why would you tell us about that?"

"As I said, I didn't come for forgiveness. I do not believe I would be able to forgive, were I in your shoes. I came because I have something to ask Tobias, and it concerns you both." I squeeze Tobias hand and I feel he's scared too. But Johanna goes on. "Ruling this city is not easy and the other members of the council will want me to give a name of someone skilled enough to take over the job. I want to give them your name Tobias, and I'd like to know what you both think about it."

She stops here, as if her race was over. I understand she's waiting for an answer, but I can't give her one right now. I feel Tris is about to break my right hand. I have to say something "Well… I'm honored that you thought I could be a leader for this city, but I think I will need to discuss this with Tris, before I can answer something to you… I'm still blind at the moment and we're having our third child…"

"Do not misunderstand my visit. I didn't expect you to answer immediately, I just wanted to give you time to think about it. What if we meet again on Tuesday?" I hesitate "I…" and I feel Tris releasing the pressure on my hand, she says "That will be fine Johanna. Let's say Tuesday noon, after our meeting. Thanks for coming."


	45. Chapter 45: commitment

**45\. Tobias: Commitment  
**

After Johanna left, I don't feel like discussing the issue on the spot, but I'm afraid that Tris wants to. Finally she must feel the same because she says. "I think I should make dinner, it's time for the children to eat." Maybe she's just being practical. I agree and slowly grope to the kids' room while I hear Tris rummaging in the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" I ask before I open the kid's door. "Chicken wings and sweet potatoes with cucumber salad." Comes the answer.

Ten minutes later, table is ready and Caleb arrives from work to eat with us. "Hello guys!" He says. "How was your day?"

"Interesting… Dinner in 10 minutes." Answers Tris. I hear a door opening and closing and Caleb says "Give me 5 minutes to get changed and I'm with you for dinner." Then Tris's voice again "You're getting changed? Aren't you staying tonight?"

Caleb seems a little uncomfortable when he answers "No, I just popped up for dinner. I have a kind of party, with people from the lab later on. I thought you wouldn't need me to be there tonight, as you don't work tomorrow but..." I wonder if this party has something to do with Cara…I'm really looking forward this drinks I promised, the conversation might be interesting…"That's fine for me, don't worry." She says "I just want us to find a quiet evening to celebrate. I understand you're the one who found out about the medication? I was thinking maybe tomorrow…as it will be your birthday…but maybe you had something planned already?"

"Let's say tomorrow evening then, that's fine. Anyway, I have something else I'd like to celebrate with you both. It's a surprise."

"What's that?" Says Tris, sounding interested.

"You'll see… That's what a surprise is about sister, remember?" Answers Caleb. "Do you mind if I invite Cara? She helped me a lot with it, and I'd like her to be there." I bite my lip not to say anything and I wonder what Caleb's motives to get Cara here really are. "No problem says Tris, it might be more fun, and it's your birthday after all."

When everyone's seated at the table, I feel I have to be nice to Caleb from now on. I said I would try to make friends with him. "How was your day?" I ask – I don't know what else to speak about.

"Fine he says, we are working on the food project again, and it's going very well. I think we could actually have some small vegetable gardens inside the city. That would be more efficient and it would need less transport." He goes on explaining about the new earth formula they've tested last week and retains more water and nutrients twice better than the former one. As a good Erudite, he reminds us that the city's population has already doubled in three years, and is still growing every day. It makes me think back to my housing project and Johanna's proposal to become a leader. I could actually go on with this, if I said yes. I believe in it.

After dinner is over we put Adam and Natalie to bed. Tris reads them a bedtime story and, we sit on the couch to have some tea together. "Shall we go for a walk tomorrow?" she asks "Or maybe a trip on the lake? In the afternoon I will prepare the party with the kids."

"Did you really plan a birthday party for Caleb? I mean, is he family again?"

"Are you upset?" she asks "I just felt I couldn't go on ignoring him after what he did to help us. I wished I could forgive him some day, and I think now is the time." I hope I don't betray something but I ask "Did you know he had a crush on Cara?"

"You don't say! How would you know by the way?" she sits on my lap facing me. I feel her hands around my neck, and my hands slip naturally around her waist "Did you just make best pals with my traitor brother you hate, without telling me?" she asks teasing.

"Not yet, but he told me about it. I just promised I would treat him some evening in a bar, if he was right about the anti-epilepsy drugs. I believe he needs a friend to talk to. I might the closest thing to a friend that he can have right now."

"Know what?" she says "I wish we could just have a serum to forget only the bad memories."

"No." I say. "I don't think it would be better. The more I think about it, the more I believe, bad things finally shape you more than good ones. How can you care for people if you don't know they can die? How can you value things, if you never know they can get spoiled? We just have to learn to get over the difficult times, to fight for the ones we love and things we believe in…and appreciate what we have when it's here."

She gives me a sweet kiss and says "My God Tobias, you've grown up so much more than me."

xxx

We are both lying in our bed before sleep. Tris has nested her head on my shoulder and I'm stroking her hair gently. I ask "What do you think about Johanna's idea?"

"I believe it's not an idea, it's a project" she corrects.

"Not if I don't agree." I say

"She didn't say she would change her mind if you said no." She adds.

"She didn't say she would not."

I feel her turn to me and her tone changes to become serious "Would you like to be a leader? I mean you actually have been one already, with the Dauntless insurgents but, did you like that?"

"I wouldn't say I actually liked it when it was war everywhere. No one would like that. Recently, I must admit that I appreciated working at the City Hall though. I really liked being useful and actually doing something to improve other people's life. The problem is I've been wrong too many times… I didn't guess what Nita really was up to, and Uriah died because of that…" _I just can't forgive myself for that, even now._

"But you were right about Max and Jeanine conspiracy to kill the Abnegation! You were right about trying to convince your mother to stop launching the death serum!"

She pauses "Anyway, ruling is not about being always right, no one can see the future. It's about doing what you think is best for everybody, even if it's not what YOU would like to do. You've only been mistaken, when you have listened to yourself instead of weighing things for what they were. I believe though, that when you come to it, doubting might be a good thing. I didn't help you either, with my stubborn attitude to prove you were wrong, when I was in the error myself. Look what I've done, just because I was so sure of what to do! I didn't even think about waiting for your return before releasing the memory serum. I erased all these people's lives and I could have avoided that,… had I had trusted you more."

"That's not all that bothers me right now." I respond. "If I take the job, I won't be able to be home as much I would like to. I have missed a lot of Natalie's first years, and I barely know Adam. I'm not sure I want to sacrifice their childhood to this city. I really want to be there for our next child, I won't mess it up." He puts his hand under my shirt and starts stroking my belly gently. "You know that being a leader is a full-time job. You're never off. When it gets wrong they come and fetch you, whatever day or time it is. Are you okay with that?" She seems to wonder for a few seconds but her answer comes anyway. "I think it goes with the job and that's something I can manage if I prepare myself to it. I thought… maybe you could accept the job, if I started working part-time?"

No! I don't want her to sacrifice anything, she would regret it sooner or later, and she would blame me for this "No, you love you job with the Children's Home! I don't want to take that away from you." But she sticks to her idea anyway "When the home will be fully operating, they won't need me that much, I'll just have to find a director and I could go back to my former job."

"I don't want you to drop your job for me." I say. "I believe in you. I'm sure you make wonders in orientation as you do with the Home."

What I like about Tris, is her tenacity. She's prepared her arguments well as she goes "Besides, if you are a leader, maybe we might be able to find some other place to live, even if I work less. I believe you'll get a raise. You know it won't make it with a baby and the twins here, they're already driving me mad in here. I don't mean a house, it's impossible except if we go back to Abnegation sector and I don't want it. What about a bigger apartment closer to the park?"

I smile and tickle her "It's a set up Tris! You've been thinking about that for days or what? Do you really want me to take the job whatever it takes?"

"No. it's just… that somehow I feel you're really fit for the job: you care and you know a lot about this city and… you don't think you're always right as I do. I believe in you. We'll find a way to make it right with the children, I believe we can."

I kiss her forehead and say "Mind if I think about it a little more Honey? Let's sleep over it OK."

"OK. Good night then." She says kissing me back.

**_A/N : Sorry this chapter took me so long. Not much action here but I need the step to go where I want to. I wanted to explain it's not that easy, to take responsibility for many people.  
_**

**_Feel free to review if you find it boring or useless! I appreciate any review with useful criticism or advice on my work. _**

**_Next ones will be better, for events are coming..._**


	46. Chapter 46: Celebration

_**A/N : Thank you Kathleen for reviewing. I really need to have your opinion about what I write, because I always fear my English won't be good enough to let you appreciate the story. If you notice big mistakes, please let me know, that will help me improving.**_

_**Keep on reviewing, it helps me going on if I know you're reading my work!**_

****46\. Tris: Celebration****

**Saturday**

Our small party sounds good. We have balloons and ribbons in the living room. I cooked a roast chicken and baked a chocolate cake. All of us even dressed up a little for the occasion. I chose a black pregnancy dress I had for the twins but I have a surprise because it feels tighter than before. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I notice my body now resembles a woman, it shaped around the hips. I wonder if it will go away when the baby will be born…I like it better than being skinny.

Caleb and Cara arrive on time to have a drink before dinner. We start speaking about their research and my job at the Children's Home. Adam and Natalie ask them all sorts of questions about growing vegetables, watering and harvesting.

When I bring the cake on the table, Caleb gives a package to me. It's nicely wrapped in a golden paper. He says "I noticed that we missed your birthday when you were locked in the fort, so I wanted to do it tonight. The twin's birthday is approaching and I believed you should have your own time. You know, I've been working on your present for weeks, and I hope you'll like it."

At that very moment, I think that I feel much older than being just 22. I open the golden paper and inside, I find a medium square box. When I open it, it is filled with about ten little plastic bottles filled with a golden liquid. I take one in my hands for a closer look, but it holds no label and I don't recognize the liquid. It's too thick to be a serum…I hesitate "Uh… Thank you Caleb but… what is it exactly?"

"This is shampoo." I see Tobias refraining from laughing and I kick him under the table because he can't see me frowning. Caleb goes on - I think he prepared his speech "I noticed you were upset about your hair being white, so Cara and I have been researching over a treatment that could repair your hair bulbs to get your hair color back….And here it is! If you use it, your hair will start growing again their natural color in about 1 month but you should go on over the next 6 months to be sure. It won't work on the length though, it will stay white." Tobias doesn't laugh anymore and I feel tears welling up my eyes "Oh Caleb, Thank you. I can't believe you cared about that. I've been desperate about ever fixing it. How did you find out?" He just answers "Mirrors." I look at him in astonishment and he explains "I saw you looking at reflection on your wedding day, and a few other times when I came around: you always frown and twiddle your hair." I think about it and I reckon he's right. I've been really sad, about my hair gone white because of the death serum. In the park I'm always afraid that other women take me for my children's grandmother. I know some of them stare at me sometimes, because my clothes won't fit with the hair color. Yes, I've been wanting this dearly.

I put the bottle back on the table and say "I don't know what to say, it's so nice of you. I can't believe you've been working all that long just for me!" I'm really crying when I hug him. I turn to Cara because I don't really know if I can hug her too… "Thank you too Cara. Caleb says you helped a lot. I'm really honored that you did this for me. I mean you would have any reason to dislike me…" I can't finish, it still hurts too much.

"Just cost me a few handfuls of hair you know…" She says blushing. Then I realize she probably did not do it for me.

And now I feel a little stupid with my present. I put in front of him the big package, wrapped in blue paper, and the envelope I prepared this afternoon. He opens it carefully, and gives a strange look at the big book and flash memory inside the envelope. What is it? He asks visibly puzzled. I explain "The book is an encyclopedia from the 21st century. It is about how the world was before all this mess, I thought you might find it interesting. The flash memory contains all the music I like. I believe that when you'll listen to it maybe you will know a little more about me it's time we actually get to know each other…And you should read the cards too."

I see him flinch and he says "I don't deserve it, I mean, you're not obliged to…." I cut him "I think it's time for us to move on. I do and you can too."

One of the cards says "PEACE" and the other "FORGIVEN".

xxx

**The next Tuesday**

Johanna and I come back home together after our meeting. I didn't know she had a car with a driver; I can seat at the back of the car next to her, on the way to our apartment. I'm quite uncomfortable because I don't know what to speak about, but she knows. "You're doing a wonderful job with the Children's Home, I heard the interviews are nearly over, this is highly efficient! I'm really happy that I was right about you, despite your age." I wonder if she's trying to be nice or mean with this last one...

She must have noticed my puzzled expression so she goes on "Do not believe I underestimated you for being young, but others did. I value the work you have accomplished. Have you thought about staying in the home yourself when it will be fully functional?"

I'm even more startled "And what do you think I should do?" She looks at me with a deep expression "I think you could be head of the Home. At least, if you feel it's too much of a task -I would understand with your children- then maybe you could consider being an assistant to the director you will choose."

I say nothing so she adds "Give a thought about it."

I'm wondering if I should tell Tobias about it when we get home. I realize I feel tempted by the offer, but I don't want to speak, before he gives his answer to Johanna.

As we arrive at home, I open the door and let Johanna get in first. As soon as I enter, I feel uncomfortable: our living room is a mess. I believe the kids have been messing it all because I can clearly see, plenty of paper cuts on the floor. They've stolen the scissors again. Tobias still can't catch them, as he just starts seeing shapes and bright colors. I tidy up a little bit in order to allow the three of us to sit on the couch and chairs without risking any stain or pain. I sat on the scissors once…

I bring soft drinks for everybody and I check that Adam and Natalie found a quiet game for the next half hour. They're actually building a pretty big tower with all sorts of cubes bricks and straws. They found the model for it in a book about architecture, that I got back from the library last week. I warn them about the punition to come for stealing the scissors though. The truth is I'm always worried that Adam becomes violent against Natalie; he is so much stronger than she is and he's trained too. I suddenly realize that I didn't tell Tobias what I found out, about Adam having actually killed some other kids. I will have to speak about it very soon, he needs to know. I hope he will know what to do about it.

Anyway… no time for it now. We have to tell Johanna what we decided about Tobias becoming a leader for the city.

_**NEXT CHAPTER this week-end if I get 2 reviews telling me what they think ;-)**_


	47. Chapter 47: Right decision?

**47\. Tobias: Right decision ?**

**_A/N : I'm a little disappointed I got no reviews for a while :-(_**

**_ I'll release this chapter anyway as it is ready and i know some of you are waiting for it. I hope you're not bored with this story though. It's getting to the end anyway, but I need to be careful in writing the last chapters, not to forget anything I need to tell you. Sorry if I take longer to update._**

**_PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK._**

**Tuesday**

I hear Tris coming back and I can clearly see her blurred shape sitting on the couch next to me. Johanna faces us in a red gown, but I really don't see her better than a vague shadow. I try to look at her though, just to be polite. Johanna starts straight "So, have you been considering my demand?" she says. She's not brave, but she still has that direct Candor-style way of getting straight to the point. That was something I used to like and admired in her, before she betrayed me.

"Yes I did." I respond. "Or we did, to be exact. I think I've come to an answer, but I would have a few questions before."

"Go on then." Says Johanna casually. I wonder if she can read what the answer will be.

"What if I don't want you to give my name?"

"I will give them your name anyway, because you're first on my list. But there are other names on it, should you refuse the offer. I would not blame you not to want it, I've not been such a good example, but I thought maybe someone like you, could make a difference."

I need to ask "Why exactly do you believe I could?"

"I have seen your files, you know… both of you. I understand you both have something special. You Tris, because your DNA gives you various abilities that we don't have, and you Tobias, because your will is so strong, that you managed to develop most of these abilities anyway. I also know you both got first in your initiation and you Tobias, refused to be a leader many times. I think we need people like you, with a strong will and no personal ambition. And above all, I know you wouldn't hurt innocents if you can avoid it…unlike me. This is why I want to put on your name."

And after a pause "And of course, I need someone who belongs to this city, you need to if you're supposed to deal with the ex-faction people." It sounds pretty sensible.

I go for my last question "How much is the salary if I'm chosen?" She laughs. "I didn't expect that one! I would have thought you were not of the greedy type."

"We will need a bigger place very soon." I explain. "Don't worry about that." She says. "You will double your income at least…. There's something else I need to tell you before you respond. They will publish a new paper about the Fort Sheridan experiment in a fortnight. I gave the journalist everything he wanted to know, about what Marcus and I did to the kids over there. I also spoke about the deaths, I did forget to mention to the government, when I could have stopped all this. This is also the day when I will resign.

It means they will choose who's going to replace me, next Monday. So if you say yes, you'll have to make ready quickly too."

I wonder what deaths she's talking about, but I want to speak with Tris first about that. I grin and ask "Have you noticed that I still can't see by any chance?"

"I understood your sight was coming back?" responds Johanna surprised.

"Yes it is, but it's coming back slowly."

"As long as it is back in one month, that's all we need." She finishes. I try to think how much my sight has improved already, and answer "I suppose I'll be able to see quite properly within two weeks but I won't be reading books and files too much."

"That will be fine to begin with." says Johanna. "So what do you decide?"

I take Tris's hand in mine and answer "I appreciate you offered me this opportunity. After we spoke about it with Tris, I decided I will accept it, but don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did to my son. I don't accept this offer for you, or to help you in any way later if I'm chosen."

"I didn't think you would do it for me at all." She says. "I don't expect anything from you either, but I'm glad you accepted. It will be for the best for this city if they trust my choice. I'll leave you to your family now, it's getting late. Let's meet again in 2 weeks in my office. Tuesday 9th at 4PM then. I'll confirm the City Council's decision to you next week, but I have no doubt they will follow my advice. I'll see you both very soon. Goodbye."

I see her shape getting up and I hear Tris leading her to the door.

When Johanna's gone we eat with the children. I am uncomfortable, because I badly want to speak to Tris about what Johanna insinuated, but I'll have to wait after dinner. I'm really nervous, I feel that Tris has been hiding something to me and I don't like it at all.

After dinner, we put Adam and Natalie to bed and sit together on the couch. I have to do it now, before she sits on my lap or cuddles in my arms and distracts me, so I ask her straight "What was she talking about… I mean deaths in Fort Sheridan. I believe you know, otherwise you would have asked."

She stays silent for a while and I hear her take a deep breath. "When I was in the Fort I heard Marcus and Johanna speak about accidents that occurred during their experiments. It appears that some of the children died over the years. I don't have the details, Matthew keeps the files, but I discovered that some of them died because of the use of serums and one or two in their fear landscape. And the others died in fights." I feel her hand squeeze mine. "Adam killed 2 of them. I'm not sure he realized that he did… but he did. I should have told you earlier but I believe I wanted to forget it… Do you think he might be… altered?"

I feel angry for a moment "Why… why didn't you tell me?" I say harshly

She sounds alarmed when she says "I had planned to, but there were too many things to deal with at the same time…you were in hospital, blind, your parents dead…I didn't find the moment at first and after that…I kinda buried it inside. I'm sorry." I realize it must have been difficult for her during the last weeks. I have not been that easy myself, and she had to take care from the kids too. I take her in my arms and say "You can tell me everything. I won't always take it well, I won't always help you much, but at least I can try, OK?"

This time she cuddles in my arms and I feel her so small, just fragile and like Natalie. "I wish this was really over some day. I mean do you think we will ever forget all this crap, that we will be able to go on?"

I think over it for a while. I could not forget my mother's death, did not forget my father's cruelty. Even now they're gone the pains is still vivid to my mind sometimes. I just respond "I don't think we will ever forget completely, but I suppose that from now on we can try to fill our lives with more good memories than bad ones. I believe we are on a good start today." I have to follow her jaw line softly with my fingers, to find out where to find her lips to kiss her. It feels so good to feel her next to me. I let my hand rest on her belly. It's not so big and I try to figure out, how the little one inside looks like.

"I love you Tris. Please never forget it, whatever happens. I'll do anything for you."

She sits up a little on my lap, and I feel her lips brush against mine. "I won't forget." She says in her kiss. Our kiss is sweet and light but deep with some kind of passion. It's like we haven't been that free and light for ages. I feel something new, like this is the first time we kiss; I feel full of hope and promises. Everything is possible and I find my way back to her body. I kiss her neck and touch the bullet scar that shows out of her collar. I don't care about it, I know it by heart now, but I know she hates it, always wearing a scarf to hide the burnt skin patch. I bury my head in her neck and I smell the familiar scent of flower mixed with moisturizing cream, that I've been used to sleep with for the past months. I slide one hand under her tee-shirt and I feel her waist. I'm surprised to feel it quite plump because of pregnancy. It's new to me to feel curves on her… I like it. Our breath is getting heavier as we kiss more; she runs one hand through my hair, and I shiver when I feel her other hand under my shirt running up my tattoo and we're definitely connected. I don't want to break this fusion. I lift her in my arms and take her to our bedroom.

**_A/N : Hello guys, next chapter will tell you the baby's gender so the poll for its name will be open too. If you have any ideas or wishes about that, I'm waiting for your reviews!_**


	48. Chapter 48: The little ones

**48\. Tris: The little ones**

**Monday**

I wake up at 6.30, it's more Tobias's usual waking time than mine. I should be tired, because we had a party for the twins' birthday yesterday with our friends, and I spent most of the evening cleaning up. Alice and Mary, Zeke and Shauna's daughters came to play along with them. I don't feel like inviting other kids at home yet: all of us are kind of disturbed people so far. Their birthday is in fact tomorrow, but we wouldn't have enough time for a party on Tuesday so we anticipated it a little.

I'm really excited because this Monday's a big day for both of us. This morning we officially open the Children's home -at last- and the city Council will decide this afternoon who will replace Johanna. I really hope that Tobias get it, I really trust him to rule our city and make the best for us. I'm a little uncomfortable because I didn't tell Tobias about Johanna's offer to rule the house yet. I think I will wait to know if they choose him for a city leader to discuss this with him; I don't want him to change his mind. I've been really busy preparing all the details at the Children's Home, and Tobias had to take care of Adam and Natalie alone over the past days. That won't be possible anymore if he is working all day at the City House… anyway I'll think about that later.

We're a little late on our schedule: the renovating and refurbishment of the buildings was longer than I expected. We have three main accommodation halls ready : University, Clifton-Fullerton and Munroe, as well as Sheffield Square Apartments and Vincent and Louise House for the staff who wants or needs to live here. The school times will be in McGowan North and south. They're still working on the Richardson Library, which is not ready yet. That is my personal wish, but it was too much work to get ready today. I want to instill true knowledge and I feel we need culture, and arts to help the kids become adults with a whole personality. That's why the library will be opened to anyone who wants to study.

Anyway, 80 children already moved in, and the others will arrive this morning: a total of 223 children from 3 to 10. I'm a little scared it won't go as expected, but I have no choice. Having all the kids stuck in the Dauntless headquarters is not an option anymore, it's a quite dangerous place, and they don't have enough qualified staff to deal with so many children. It has lasted too long already. That's why we moved the younger ones in the home last week, even if it was not completely ready.

I turn to Tobias and he opens his eyes. "Hello love." I say. "This is our big day today. Are you ready for the home's opening?"

He cups my head in his hands and gives me a kiss "I think so. Are you?"

"Yes, I'm rather happy. It's not so emotional for me you know, but you…" He stops me. I suddenly fear I didn't have a good idea. He decided to have both his parents cremated but he didn't care getting Marcus's ashes back. He got Evelyn ones back though, and I noticed his pain at that very moment. I know what it is to lose your parents but I can't imagine how hard it is to lose your mother twice. That's why I suggested we named the home after her, when Johanna told me I was allowed to choose the name myself as it was my project. He was surprised but I think he was pleased.

"Don't worry." he says, noticing my wondering look "I'm glad you offered this to me, you could have chosen any other name."

"She died to save those kids, including Adam, we all owe her a lot, including giving birth to you, as far as I'm concerned." I add with a kiss.

xxx

Here we are. I head to the lawn standing in front of the building and I'm just terrified. This is the most wonderful summer day though. I lift my head up to look into the bright blue cloudless sky, just like a big sea of hope and safe futures. I smell the herb scent and I notice there are no butterflies or little insects over the lawn; I make a note to plant more flowers around for next year. In front of the main building I have the biggest surprise to see a big crowd gathered on the Quad lawn, in front of the Home for the opening. I even think that people from the press are here. I can't do it. I'm clumsy, my dress is too short… my hair is awful as it started growing blonde again so it's two-colored… This is not the kind of fear that wakes me up, this one just paralyzes me. My hands start sweating as usual and I keep wiping them on my thighs.

I look for Tobias and he smiles at me; he understands what I'm going through. He gives me a thumbs up, I take a deep breath and I go for my speech trying to concentrate on his eyes to find strength.

_"Hello everybody I'm Tris Prior. I supervised this project that is very special to me, from the start, and am really proud to finally open this home today. I hope it will really be a home for every child who comes to live here. I want to thank all of those, who helped getting ready nearly on time, they made wonders and it really works fine. There's also a wonderful team gathered here. I met every one of them, and I really feel we'll make it._

_When I was offered the choice, I decided to name this home after Evelyn Johnson. She tried her best to save this city and died a few months ago, while she was trying to help free those children from the Fort Sheridan. As every human being she has been mistaken, even failed sometimes, but her example shall teach us there's always hope. Hope to make things better, hope to change yourself, hope to mend and get stronger, hope for happiness. That's what she fought for, and that's what we believe in today._

_This is why I'm honored to name this wonderful place: Evelyn Johnson Children's Home. Thank you all for your interest and support today."_

I stop here, I didn't want to make it long and pompous like I was proud of myself or something. Someone pulls the sheet that was covering the plate wearing Evelyn's name and everybody applauses. I take a quick interrogating glance to Tobias and by his proud look, I feel I did it right. I'm relieved, I hate speeches. When I pass in front of him to go speak to the officials, he brushes my hand and whispers in my ear "I'm so proud of you." That makes me so warm.

After that, I have to take the officials for a visit of the place, and a cocktail on the lawn; then I spend the rest of the day around with Tobias Adam and Natalie, checking that all the children and staff get properly installed. I spent a whole day this week, sorting the kids into the single double or triple bedrooms, depending on their age. I had security cameras installed everywhere under Tobias supervision-that's his job after all- and most of the security agents are from Dauntless. Hope that'll make it fine.

On the way back home, I feel I have to tell him. "There's one thing I need to tell you about: a few days ago, Johanna's offered me to rule the home." He looks at me with interest, but I'm pleased he doesn't look surprised because I'm not skilled or too young for the job.

"She was right. What did you answer?"

"Nothing yet. I didn't want to rush for a decision, and I thought I needed to know if they chose you for a leader first. I'll think about it tomorrow."

"OK." He answers. "But feel free to say yes if that's what you really want. You deserve it."

I like it so much when we settle such big things as if they were easy. We get home at 5PM and we're all exhausted. I suppose we're all taking a nap when the phone rings. It's Johanna. I give the phone to Tobias.

I see him nodding and he answers. "Thank you for the news Johanna. I'll meet you Tuesday 9th at 4PM." He lifts his head to me. "They chose me." he says flatly. I run to hug him and say "I'm so proud of you."

xxx

**Friday, same week**

We leave the car and I give his glasses to Tobias, because his eyes are still really fragile and he should not expose them to the sun too much. He always forgets them though. Inside the artificial light is not so aggressive and he can take the glasses out.

Minutes later, we're sitting in the waiting room, hand in hand. Irene was great; she got us an appointment within hours from my call. "Are you excited?" I ask, watching his right leg trembling frantically. "Yes I think so." He admits "Aren't you?"

"Less than you, obviously. But it's gonna be my third time you know… Would you prefer boy or girl?"

"I haven't really thought about it so much. I think I'll be happy anyway… but if I had to choose I'd like a mini-Tris with golden hair and blue eyes." He says with a grin. "Are you serious?" I ask, wondering if this is a joke. "Yes I think so. I'd like that."

"And what if I want a mini-Tobias?" I respond. "You already have one: Adam is just like me at his age. He even had the punishment and beating from Marcus. The very little myself…" I feel his rage still boiling in his voice when he thinks about it.

"Do you think this baby will be divergent like the twins?" He asks. We know they are because it was written in Adam's file. They tested their DNA straight after they were born. "Why would we care about that, now it's over?" I ask quite uncomfortable. I don't like him speaking like that. "Because that would make me the only GD in the family." He says coldly.

I'm furious. "And what? Tobias, I forbid you to ever use this term again. I told you, this was genetic crap. You're worth better than most of the Divergents I've met, and you achieved much more too. No one will care about that anymore, and you should forget it too. Know what? I won't ask and we won't try to know if he or she is divergent OK?"

"I want to know, and I will." He says flatly. We don't have time to resume this conversation because Dr Shaw opens the door to let us into the ultrasound room. I get ready while she explains what we will be able to see this time and I lay on the exam table.

I take Tobias's hand in mine just to be able to share the emotions with him without speaking. When the image appears on the screen and we hear the running heartbeat, I squeeze his hand. Irene goes with the stick all over my belly, showing us hands and spine and head… until she says "Would you like to know the gender?" asks Irene. "Yes, if you can tell." Answers Tobias. I say nothing, I think it's his turn to decide.

"I believe it's a boy. In fact, I'm positive about that." She says with a smile. I think this time Tobias is crushing my hand... I'm pretty sure he lied about wanting another girl…

**_A/N : Hello . This is my longest chapter so far. I didn't want to make it into 2 or 3 parts because I promised you would know the baby's gender. It's getting near the end now, and I hope you will stay with me for the last few chapters of this story. You will eventually get a wedding and a baby I promise but not in the next chapter._**

**_I'm stuck with the baby's name though. My first ideas were Will and/or Uriah but this doesn't fully satisfy me and I'm lost with it. I feel it's difficult to live with some close dead people's name so I wouldn't do it for this child. I'm looking for something positive yet meaningful to them. I still have a few chapters before I need it, so if you have any useful advice, or ideas I'll take them._**

**_THANK YOU FOR ENCOURAGING ME WITH YOUR REVIEWS._**


	49. Chapter 49: Against all odds

**49\. Tris: Against all odds**

**Saturday**

Christina is getting mad about her wedding. Now the Home's opened, I promised to help her, along with her mother and sister. It's not for my skills about fashion and decorating so I wondered why she insisted so much at first and now I got it : someone has to keep her head clear out of us, and it seems it's gonna be me. Oliver takes good care to avoid the house when we're having wedding councils, and there are moments I wish I could do the same and flee. The problem is candor say everything they think about, so they keep arguing over nearly every detail for hours.

I got to give advice on her dress, even if I'm a waste at fashion things. Abnegation does not prepare you best for an ex-Candor wedding. I can say I like her dress though: it's a really beautiful ball gown dress. She designed a white top with delicate lace, that wonderfully underlines her bare shoulders and below the waist, it's just a full black skirt. I helped her choose between her 4 different ideas of dresses, because her mum and sister kept changing minds every day. I did not like the plain white and plain black ones as I thought the mixed colored one reflected better what Christina really is. I put this dress first from the two left only for the shape of it that felt more stylish to me than the slim other dress. I also imagined the way her brown bare shoulders would appear above the white strapless bustier, and I found it good. The other dress had lost of white lace over the black top and skirt and laced sleeves too…I believed it was a little too much. Against all odds, she trusted me in this and I hope she won't regret it…

That's why I'm in for the first fitting today, along with her mother and sister -again. I'm not fond of it but I owe her so much I can't refuse her anything right now, she's my best friend and she did the same for me. The big difference is that SHE liked that. When she steps out of the fitting room I stay speechless. She looks just gorgeous. I feel I might like fashion and shopping someday.

xxx

I come back home at 5.30 and I notice Tobias fell asleep on the couch. There's something unusual but I can't get what. I take my shoes off and I suddenly realize what's wrong: silence. A deadly silence. I call " Adam? Natalie? Mum's back." while going to the room. The door is closed and I open it carefully maybe they're asleep too that would explain why Tobias…

"Oh my god, what happened!" I yell "Tobias help!" to wake him but he's already up at the door. Natalie is lying on the floor blood dripping from her head. Adam seats prostrated beside his bed, his arms clutched around his knees. He's rocking frantically back and forth.

"I'll call an ambulance," says Tobias.

I feel Natalie's pulse…it's beating faintly. She has probably just fainted but I don't know how much blood she lost. I run to the bathroom to find gauze and a bandage to stop the bleeding. I wrap it tightly while I try to speak to Adam.

"Adam, it's mummy, look at me. Adam… can you tell me what happened?"

When Tobias gets back, I give him a sign to try helping Adam out of what looks like a state of shock. He takes him in his arms and he seems to awaken but he looks dead frightened. I hear Tobias speaking calmly to him "Did you have a fight?" Adam nods. "Did you punch her?" He nods again. "How did she hurt her head?" Adam shows the nightstand where a little blood shows on the corner.

I think my bandage is OK. The door bell rings and minutes later I'm in the ambulance with Natalie. Tobias decided to follow in the car with Adam. He seems badly shaken, as he wouldn't says a word to any of us.

I feel a pang of guilt, I should have seen this coming and let them in separate rooms. I knew Adam could be violent and I underestimated the risk. I feel paralyzed by fear and I'm hating myself at the same time, for not having anticipated this. I won't be able to forgive myself if anything happens to Natalie.

As soon as we get to the hospital a young nurse comes around and takes us to a separate room. She takes a look under the bandage and says that it stopped the bleeding which is good. She and explains they will make an X-rays and make stitches to Natalie's head because the wound is too wide to heal.

I'll have to wait outside the exam room because X-rays are dangerous for pregnant women. Tobias just arrived with Adam so I decide to stay and try to talk with him, while Tobias stays with Natalie. I sit with him in the rest room and take him on my lap. I start stroking his hair and I decide maybe words are not the best way to communicate right now. I try to choose the best song to break this silent wall he built. What comes to my mind is a lullaby from the old world named Brahms. I hum the tune and I invent words along to say it's OK. I feel his tension release a little and when Tobias comes back 20 minutes later, Adam is asleep.

He sits next to me and says that the checkup is finished, there's nothing serious. He explains "Natalie had a small concussion which provoked her passing out. She will have to stay overnight, because she's quite weak and they want to be sure nothing happens during the night. They say that if she does not have any headaches or vomits during the night, she'll be all right. As it is not too busy tonight, they found a double bedroom, where one of us will be able to stay with her overnight.

I cut him "I will. This is my mistake; I want to be here when she wakes up. Anyway I won't be able to stay home worrying and not knowing what happens."

He looks at me worried "Why on earth would that be your fault?"

"I knew he was trained to fight and be violent, and you know what he has been through with Marcus and… and I should have helped him controlling this. I should have felt and done something. I'm his mother!" I feel tears of frustration coming to my eyes.

Tobias frowns and tilts my chin up "I forbid you to feel guilty about this. I'm the one who fell asleep, and we are both responsible for them now. I'm their father. We will sort all this out tomorrow at home Okay? I'm sure she'll be fine, the doctor didn't seem too worried about her state."

I nod but inside I'm still frozen by fear… fear she won't wake up or have a brain damage. I cannot stand being into another nightmare.

He takes Adam in his arms and when I leave to Natalie's room he adds "Try to get some sleep. Hopefully there's no harm done yet and we will find a way to help him. I will help him. The nurse said I could come back at 10.30 for the doctor's visit."

I lie on the bed and I try to take my mind away from the thought of Natalie having any brain damage because of my carelessness. I look at her and I try not to cry but I'm just too worried and I finally let go and tears fall down on the pillow. I don't know how long after that, I eventually feel so tired that I fall asleep despite my angst.

**_A/N : Thank you all for your nice reviews._**

**_Shout out to NayNay2014 for reading everything I write straight, and nearly always reviewing._**

**_Guests and others, please go on with advice on the baby's name because I'm still searching. I will take any suggestion and make a choice when I get there. Thank you for taking time to help me anyway._**


	50. Chapter 50: About love

**50\. Tobias: About love**

**Sunday**

I find them in Natalie's bedroom. I'm glad to see Natalie awake too and she seems pretty well, despite her bandaged head. I left Adam at Christina because I feared something could go wrong if she saw him straight this morning. I see Tris did not sleep much, just like me. I approach the bed to hug Natalie and "Hi sweetie, how have you been, does it still hurt you?"

"No! she says, I'm very tough like you. I want to go to the park now, they don't have games here." I respond half smiling "You're very brave I know, but we are not allowed to leave before the doctor says so. Would you like to see the coloring book I brought you?"

"Oh yes! I want it." she says happily. Once she buries deep into her drawing, I go out of the room to speak with Tris. I ask "You didn't sleep at all did you?"

"I must look awful, I know" she says "I did sleep, but only for a few hours. I was too much worried. She woke up one hour ago and seems very well up till now. She has asked me to go to the park already."

I smile at her "I'm pretty sure the doctor will say there's nothing serious, he said if nothing happened overnight, she would be fine." I add "Don't worry about this. We will need help to work with Adam about him mustering his violence. He has been taught to fight and hurt and he needs us, and maybe a therapist, to understand it's not a way to solve things."

"You say so…" she answers raising an eyebrow. "Okay, huh I've not always been good at it myself" I was thinking about other people like Christina who knows how to talk about things, and maybe Dr Lang who works at the Home. He would probably help us well, he will deal with this with other kids at the Home I guess." She nods and answer "You're right, I'll ask him. I don't want to fear every day that an accident happens with Adam, and I don't want to isolate him either, he wouldn't understand."

The doctor arrives so we go back inside the room to wait with Natalie. He looks carefully at her head, pushing here and there, pulling her head on side or the other, her and after a few questions and tests, he turns to us and says: "There's no brain damage at all. She can do whatever she wants when she'll get out, as long as the wound does not get wet for one week at least."

We both breathe again normally. I notice that even I did hold my breath during the doctor's exam…

xxx

As we get out of the hospital we linger in the park for a while because we promised Natalie she could play a little. We sit on a bench while she takes turns at the slide.

"What shall we do now then?" asks Tris.

I had an idea while we were waiting in the hospital and I think I know what we should do. I find it brilliant but maybe I'm wrong. I can't wait to tell her though "Look, we need help and we need a therapist for Adam. So why don't we go the Home with the children? We would have all the help we need, properly trained staff and teachers, and Adam and Natalie would have friends to play with. Besides, you're doing very well in ruling the Home, because you really care. Stay as the head of the Home as Johanna has asked you to, and let's all move in there. You would never be far from Adam and Natalie even at work. I really feel we should."

"Are you serious Tobias?" she answers frowning "I see what your point is, but they are 223 children left… I'm not sure I can handle all this with our baby coming; living there will be hell every day!"

"Know what? I trust you Tris. You're the best mother I've ever seen. I will really try to help you too." I put my hands on her now prominent belly. "But that'll make 226 kids if you count well."

She laughs and takes my hand. "I will do it if you're with me."

"Always" I say with a smile. And I know that's settled.

xxx

**Monday**

Every day my sight has improved continuously and it really improved quickly in the past few days. I can see everything now, even if it's still a little blurred when I'm far away. But close sight is fine and I can read in day light, if not too long. I need to wear sunglasses in bright day light, but I can do things on my own again. I even managed to shave alone again for one week. That's something I didn't like to need Tris for. It's strange, but it felt too intimate to share that with her. Abnegation shyness left I guess…or maybe it's too much of a man's concern. It's true she was very clumsy doing this, she hated it. I'm just glad one of the first things I got to see was our son at the ultrasound exam last week. This is really unique feeling, I felt proud and excited at the same time, and curious too. I wonder what he will look like. Maybe he will feel different toward me because I'll get to raise him from his first day unlike Adam and Natalie.

Caleb picked me up at 9PM after dinner for our _Private celebration_. Though I promised him, I don't feel very well being alone with Caleb. I argued with Tris, when she said she decided to forgive him. I really can't. I don't think I will ever be able to, as far as I'm concerned. Anyway I had to go away: Tris and Christina are having a wedding planning session tonight and I know for sure, that I don't want to experience this again. I try to be as friendly as I can though and try to speak casually in the train.

"Know what ? We have three things to celebrate." I say.

"Three?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

"Yes : first I can see again thanks to you; second I've been chosen to replace Johanna at the city council, and third I saw my son to come last week. I believe that's worth a few drinks, don't you?"

"Whoa!" He says "Sounds like you had a good time recently."

Yes I had. I still can't believe the burst of mixed pride and bliss I felt when I saw the baby on the screen. I just didn't care about anything else. Tris right, I'm really happy it's a boy.

"What about you?" I ask when we get out of the train. "Nothing much, really." Matthew asked me to join his new research program. I believe it's got something to do with those pluripotent cells he took from the Fort Sheridan lab. I'm considering it, but I would be away from Cara, so I'm torn between my wishes."

I order beers from the bar and we find a quiet place to sit in the corner. It's still calm at the moment, so we have not too much noise around and we can talk. I ask him "What's up with Cara then?"

Caleb goes "I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I think she likes me and the next day she beats me cold. How do you know what a girl really wants?"

"You never know." I respond "That's the point. You have to guess, and even when she tells you something, you're never sure it's the whole truth."

"Man, that's hell!" He says with eyes wide open.

"Don't be mistaken" I add "There are good moments, very good ones, but sometimes you'll see that what you did with the best intentions will turn into a mistake or a fight."

He looks both sad and worried when he asks "How do you think I should do?"

"Did you tell her how you feel?" I ask back.

"Not yet. I don't know how."

I think for a minute and suggest "Maybe you should ask her out for dinner as a start. If she says yes it will be an encouraging sign."

He still looks worried when he asks coldly "Do you think I'm capable of love? I always wonder, because of what I did to Tris. I tried to kill her even though she was my sister…"

I suppose I forget I don't like him for a moment, when I answer "And you also decided to save her life twice. When I was really bad about what my father did to me, I believed I would never love again. Because I had only known love, going along with the worst pain: I just didn't want it anymore. But Tris changed that. It's like she released something in me that gave me the strength to move on. Love changes you, you can learn from it. " I pause. "And nothing compares to what I felt when I first met with Natalie and Adam. It's really worth it you know. Just try with Cara. Maybe you'll have remorse about it, if you fail, but I believe it's better than regretting all you life that you didn't try and let it slip away."

He looks at me in astonishment, but curiously all he says is "This is getting too serious. Maybe we should get drunk from now on?" I agree and go for a refill.

.

**A/N : Not a very exciting chapter but I needed it and this is my story so I do it my way ;-)).**

**I'm getting near the end but the next -and last- chapters will take a little time to write so be patient for the next updates. Thank you for reading and reviewing.**

**Go on with ideas for the baby's name, I haven't chosen it yet, but if you do, please tell me why you think this name would be good for him.  
**


	51. Chapter 51: Happiness ?

**51\. Tris: Happiness?**

**Saturday, September 18th **

It's our last day together with Christina, before her life changes completely. I'm happy this love happened a little because of me. Had we not needed help from Oliver to get Adam back, she might never have noticed, he had loved her secretly for years. I like him very much, probably because he has no violence in him at all. Oliver is quiet and wise and he is definitely very smart, but never shows off about it. He knows an awful lot about building, and he often gave me a hand when I was renovating Evelyn Johnson's Home. He is very handsome too, not very tall neither athletic, but his light brown hair and green eyes are really nice. I know he has been very patient with Christina too, because she told me she had felt guilty about making out with him for weeks. She said she would always think about Will or Uriah against her will. I've always known she had a crush on Uri.

We decided to meet in the park, where they installed a little tearoom where the chocolate cake rises higher than the Dauntless' one. When the waitress has brought the cups of hot chocolate and two slices of cake, I give her the little box hiding the present, I ordered especially one month ago. She takes the little objects carefully out of the box and I suddenly fear I might have done wrong. She lets the light play with the two hearts that have been carved, one in blue and the other in a black crystal block. Each heart is mounted on a hairpin and has a tail made of tiny crystal stars.

I see tears welling up her eyes when she looks at them "They're for Will and Uri aren't they?" I nod and say "I thought maybe you would like to have some way of remembering them you know… But maybe this was not a good idea. I'm sorry if I did wrong."

"No, you were perfectly right. I was just looking for a way to have them here with me a little, on my wedding day. I loved what you did for your wedding with the tree,**_ [A/N see_**_ "**Divergent Be there on choosing day" chap. 15]**_ but I couldn't find a good idea that wouldn't hurt Oliver. He knows they will always be somewhere in my heart, I told him first when we started dating but he doesn't like it, I know. This is beautiful, thank you. You really are a precious friend." She takes my hand and holds it strong for a second. I feel relieved she liked it.

"You are a precious friend too. I wouldn't even have my family without you, remember?" I respond.

"No you would have made it without me." She says.

"Maybe I would be back here, but you're the one who stopped Tobias when he decided to drink memory serum. So I owe you I still had someone to come back to." I smile at her "I wish you all the best with Oliver. You deserve it."

She holds my hand stronger.

xxx

**Sunday, September 19th **

We wake up quite early this morning, because I forgot to close the curtains yesterday. He opens his eyes, give a sweet kiss to me, and starts stroking my belly, hoping our baby will move somehow or give him a kick. I really love this sight, I can feel how proud he is about having this baby, and he's frustrated though he cannot participate so much to the pregnancy as I'm doing the best part of the job…

He says "We will have to speak about his name soon. Did you give it a thought?"

"Yes. I started a list." I respond "But, there's something I wanted to ask you about it though: have you ever considered Uriah?"

He pauses and answers "It doesn't feel good to me. I wouldn't cope with it, cause I still feel it's my fault if he died. I don't want our baby to wear a dead person's name. I mean not of someone we cared for, you know. I want him to be hopeful, ready for a better world that the one we grew up in."

I nod. "I understand very well what you mean and I you're right."

He asks "Did you think about Will?"

"No. I feel the same as you, and I believe that would not be fair for Chris, to remind her of Will this way."

"What about Marcus?" He asks suddenly. My mouth gapes "You're kidding right?"

"Sorry." He says with a grin "Not a funny one. I was joking. So did you make a list?"

I take my paper on the nightstand and read "I have Benjamin, George, Simon and Liam. What do you have?"

He thinks a little and says "I have Aidan, Kevin, Theo and Brian. What are yours for?"

I explain "Benjamin and George were the names of some of the founders who built this country long ago, I like this. They were clever and brave and fought with ideas for the better world they wanted. From the bible, Simon was one of the first believers **_[A/N I also have my personal reasons for suggesting this name]_**, I like it too. Liam is the Irish form of William, and means _strong protector_. Why did you choose yours?"

He answers with a grin "Aidan means _born of fire_ and I think that suits him well for a Dauntless child. Kevin means _gentle child_ or _well born_. Theodore means _Gift of God_ and Brian was a very famous and powerful king of ancient times."

I open wide eyes, because I did not expect him to get so involved into this. He always surprises me, I should know how much he cares by now… "I see you've done a lot of research. Which one do you prefer from yours?"

"I would choose Theodore first, then Aidan." He looks at me "What about you?"

I think over it for a while and answer "I believe my favorite is Benjamin then Simon. But now you spoke about it, I like Theodore very much."

He says "I suggest we keep Theodore and Benjamin for now, and think a little while over it again. We're not in a hurry yet." I nod and I lean over him to kiss him.

xxx

**Saturday, September 25th **

I should be happy: It's Christina's wedding today. She's my best friend and I should rejoice for her being happy like I am with Tobias, but I am not. Believe it or not, I'm jealous and afraid. I'm jealous of Oliver because he will know all of her too; I won't be her only trustful and friendly ear. I'm afraid too, that she won't have so much time for our friendship anymore. I suddenly realize how she must have felt, when I got married with Tobias. She never told me about this though, but I feel I have not been such a good friend to her, always getting busy with work or children stuff, but calling for her when I was in trouble. I know I'm the first one who started having a family life of my own, and I shouldn't feel this selfish. She was always here for me, since I came back in Chicago, whatever I asked of her. I must do the same for her now.

I pull myself up, and look at my reflection in the mirror. I started liking watching my reflection, especially now that my hair grow blonde again and my scar in the neck starts fading a little… or maybe I get used to it just because Tobias doesn't seem to care.

He doesn't know how important it has been to me that he does always act with me as if I was not hurt. I think he understood how much uncomfortable I was, with my skinny body from the beginning and how worse it is now for me that I have many scars, and prosthesis in my hip. It's good to feel beautiful in his eyes, whatever I think of myself. I see he always try to avoid me having to jump or run with the children though, because he knows I couldn't do it without pain. One day he told me that all he saw in the scars was strength and love especially in the C-section one. As a matter of fact, it's the only one I like, because it's related to my children. That makes me think this time I will be able to actually give birth to my baby. I'm suddenly a little scared by the thought… I wish my mom were still alive to tell me how it is. I suppose I will have to ask Shauna. She's the closest friend I have who can tell me about it. I really hope I will make it fine.

I go to the children's room to get them dressed properly and I check Tobias's suit too. When I'm sure everyone is ready to go, we pile up in the car to get there. Oliver managed to use a reception room in the building where they work. It's not so far away from our home but the children are so excited that just the 10 minutes to get there seem a glimpse of hell to me.

I threaten them to take them back home if I hear them fighting again during the ceremony and it seems to be efficient for a moment. I need to keep a careful eye on them… It's good that Christina had her mother and sister to help her get dressed, because it gave me time to take care of the children and they did not have to wait for too long.

The ceremony is supposed to be very simple. That means opposite from the decoration to be honest. It's like Christina's mother and sister didn't find a compromise over the style they wanted and made it into a wild firework of black and white from various styles. Flowers are spread across the walls while birds are on the tables and geometric shapes and balloons with ribbon's tails are hanging from the ceiling in various places. Natalie loves it of course. I find it a little too much but I won't tell her, it's her day and she looks gorgeous. I'm proud the dress is not like a big black and white meringue thanks to me.

She asked me to be her witness and bridesmaid, but I had to get the dress done my size because I'm getting bigger every day as I'm approaching my seventh month of pregnancy. I'm actually looking a black whale right now, despite what everyone else tells me, when they lie to be nice to me. I'm not blind though. Shauna got to wear the white dress as she's a bridesmaid too. Oliver asked his cousin to be his witness.

The ceremony is very simple and short – I guess Oliver didn't let Christina's mother and sister have a word in this. They exchange their vows about building something together, and I find it very moving. I wonder if they'll have kids soon, the first one could be nearly of age with our son to come.

Dinner is nice, but the party is not much fun to me because I'm so big, I cannot dance except for slow songs. But even for those, I notice Tobias's arms can barely circle me completely, along with my belly. Only 2 ½ months to go and I'll find my normal size… at least I hope so. I take the occasion to have a chat with Shauna about raising children and childbirth. She roughly says it's no big deal if you breathe and push as they tell you to, but it can sometimes be painful, if the painkillers don't work. She says she was lucky twice on this, so why not for me?

When I go to bed that night, I feel exhausted and still not really confident about childbirth.

**A/N : Sad I didn't get many reviews. I **** Hope you liked it so far though. I go on anyway for those who would like to know how this is going to end. I try to go on with my other story too, so I'll probably make alternate updates.  
**


	52. Chapter 52: Struggles and

**52\. Struggles and...  
**

**Tris POV**

Tobias comes back at 7. He looks exhausted tonight. He goes to see the kids and plays with them while I prepare dinner. I know he wants to make things right. He's only been in charge over two months at the City council, and I see him struggle to make his job right, and take time with us at home at the same time.

I'm cooking a salad and chicken wings because I was in a hurry today, and I couldn't find time to shop for food. I will have to do it tomorrow, because the fridge is getting empty. I noticed Adam and Natalie started eating more and more in the past weeks… just like me by the way. I think this baby planned on turning me into a whale or maybe an elephant. I doubt his father will agree with this part of the plan though.

I feel a pang of pain in the bottom of my back again. I put my hand on it and wince. I try to hold on, but my pregnancy is going on, and I start getting tired a little more each day. I keep putting on weight and my back hurts in the afternoons. My ankles are a little swollen too, I feel good that autumn is here… I feel better with lower temperatures. I sometimes really wish my mom was here to help, I feel lost and tired. I would need her advice and support, to tell me how I'm supposed to raise three children When I hardly can make it with two. I feel a tear about to fall in the frying pan, but I dry it up in a blink. I think I might miss Evelyn too at some point. I kept calling Shauna a lot for advice and talk, since the wedding, and she's been great. I found out she's happy to be useful to someone, as she didn't get to find a quiet job that would be compatible with her handicap. She told me, she feared the day when Mary will be old enough to go to school, because she will be on her own and lonely again at home. That's why I don't want to leave my job at the Home, whatever it takes.

We eat quickly because it's late already, and we put the children to bed straight afterwards. When the dinner is over, I let myself lie on the couch and I feel I might fall asleep right now. Tobias sits next to me, and I put my head on his lap, eyes closed, while he starts stroking my belly. Our baby is well awake like every time I try to rest, and he starts rolling and bumping inside, crushing my stomach and bladder. I know Tobias likes it though, because he can actually feel the baby.

Tobias says softly "You're tired, I'm sorry I came so late. Are you all right?" I feel concern in his voice, so I make an effort to open my eyes again, not to worry him too much. "I just need to sleep but I'll be fine." I smile at him "I'm much better now you're home."

"So tell me about your project now." I ask, hoping to change the subject. "They have finished the list of buildings that could be renovated and we will start the estimates next week. I think I will probably work with Oliver very soon by the way. He is in the building service I'm in contact with, for the second part of the project. They helped us sort the buildings with the right criteria for renovation you know: floors, network connections, material, heating..." He animates immediately when he speaks about his project, using his hands to talk and smiling. I think he must feel all excited like I was when I started at the Children's Home. I feel curious about it too. "How many do you have left?"

"I had 23 buildings with the required qualities at the last count tonight." He answers. But the City won't have the credits for so much renovating. We will need to narrow our panel with the next steps. I hope that we can have about a thousand new apartments in the end."

Another pang of pain bursts in my back and I wince again. He looks at me with a frightened look "What's wrong? I know you. You wouldn't tell me until it's too late. Tris, I don't want anything to happen to our son, you're doing too much. I'll ask for days off for the next two months, but you should slow down with the Home too. Maybe you could recruit someone to help you, just for a few months?"

I know I can't do that now. I won't find someone in a snap right now, and I would need someone I trust like myself. That could only be Christina to make it short… or maybe… The idea starts forming in my mind but it's not ready yet. I try to reassure him with something I don't quite believe at the moment "I promise I will give it a thought in the next few days OK?" I insist "I will." And I pull his face closer to grab a kiss. "I'm not against a little more of you in this home too." I add kissing him again... but he stops my move with his hand.

"Hey! Wait a minute! You knew that my new job would be demanding: I'll only be able to have time off for a few weeks because the baby's coming. After that, it will go back to long days as usual. I will start to attend a lot of meetings and official events, sometimes late at night and even during week-ends. Remember you agreed on that, when I took this offer. You said it would make it." He sounds annoyed when saying this.

I'm fully awake now, and I don't like how this nice little chat is going on. I sit down on the couch and look at him in the eyes and raise my voice "You said I should go for head of the Home too! So why would I drop it now, because of your job ? You know how important it is to me!" I hope he did not hear the crack in my voice in the last words I said.

This time I can see he's boiling "I said I would help but I have some responsibility for the citizens of Chicago now, I can't do whatever I want to!"

I can't muster the anger that's growing inside me right now "Do you suggest you don't have responsibility for your family?"

"No. Of course not!' He shouts "I just don't want to blow it all after only 2 months! I thought you would be able to manage this!"

I just can't help it. I burst into tears and I shout "And as you obviously can see, I'm not! I'm exhausted, my back and legs hurt more and more every day, but I try to run this home properly and take care of everything and everyone, like I do all day long in my job. Do you think food comes on your plate out of thin air? Have you ever pushed the washing machine's start button? I believe you're not blind anymore! If you want the whole truth I'm afraid to give birth to a baby without being asleep, I'm worried about my ability to raise three kids when I struggle with two. I miss my friends and I miss my mother. Happy?" I'm both angry and ashamed I'm such a failure, so I run to the bedroom to sob on my own and lock the door. I can't stand looking at him anymore.

xxx

**Tobias POV**

This explosion took me by surprise. How did we pass from kissing to having a row? I'm lost. I'm sitting on the couch like I'm stupid, head in my hands. I don't exactly understand what just happened, but I heard the click of the bedroom door…she does not want me around, that's clear.

Maybe the fact we wouldn't make it with those two big jobs is something I feared, but I suppose she did pretend things were going fine and I was fooled…Or maybe I felt more comfortable with the idea everything was going on well.

I'm not sorry for what I said though, she's the one who didn't ask for help after all! Why on earth do women have to be so complicated? Had she told me something… I think over it and… and what? Would I have started shopping for food and cooking meals? I suppose not. I start feeling less comfortable about my position in this. I realize I've been relying a lot on her. I said I would help, but maybe I didn't do as much as I could.

I hear the faint noise of her sobbing in the pillow.

I've been too confident and now I'm sure I broke something. I clench my fists and try not to cry. Right now, I don't know what to do, I just want to think about something else. I want to muffle the sobbing. I get up and grab a bottle of alcohol in the cupboard, I want oblivion.

**_A/N : Hi guys. You thought this story was going to end in baby's talk, marshmallow and kisses. Maybe if I was writing a fairytale. But as a matter of fact I am not. So this might resemble real life instead. If I have used some of my personal experience this is NOT all from my life!_**

**_Hopefully real life is not always sad and difficult :-)_**

**_See you again for the next chapters._**

**_Shoutouts to : NayNay2014 I'm glad you're back and Crazybooklover7676 thank you for your support._**

**_tris4eaton your PM really made my day._**


	53. Chapter 53: Sacrifices

**53\. ...Sacrifices**

**Tris POV**

When I wake up, I open the door to the living room a little, and I understand that Tobias is gone already. I would not have been able to bear his presence right now anyway. I still feel angry against him… and not very proud of myself. I get up immediately because I need to take a shower before Adam and Natalie wake up. I feel a little better after that; I believe I can think now.

As I get out of our bedroom, I spot the empty bottle on the floor. I grab it to throw it away; I know it was nearly full when I last opened the cupboard two days ago. My stomach clenches. I don't like it when Tobias drinks too much, his violent side awakens. I feel bad it affected him that much, but I don't feel bad enough to apologize or forgive him right now. I don't think I need to apologize for not being strong enough or for wanting another life than being a perfect housewife. Anyway that's what I need to be for today: I have to make breakfast and prepare the kids for school. I will think later.

I suddenly remember that I took an oath to stay with him… "_I take you to be my husband, in equal love, as a mirror for my true self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part."_ **_[A/N see_**_ "**Divergent Be there on choosing day" chap. 15]**_ It was last year but somehow, it seems so long ago. I just didn't think that some of my dreams would have to be sacrificed on the way… not so soon. I was probably foolish. I'm only 22. Had they lived, maybe my parents would have told me that I couldn't have a family and a nice job at the same time, and make everything fine. Maybe I should see the truth and accept that I should stay at home with my children like Shauna. Or maybe we made a mistake…

I shake my head and try to concentrate on getting Adam and Natalie to the Home on time for school. I try to work on my supplies stock for an hour then I have to make the order form over and over again because I keep making errors in the references or quantities. I drop my pencil and go to the window. I look at the lawn. The kids will start running on it in a few minutes for the morning break, I notice the slide was a success but I have to find a swing soon, because the 6-year olds already started bullying the smallest ones to play more often.

I wonder if he feels bad too. I'm so lost that I don't know if I want to be back with Tobias or if I would prefer being on my own again. I suppose I need more time to be sure of us, but what am I if I give up our couple at the first trial?

I have to sit down at my desk again, because I feel the pain in my back coming again. I rub my belly but our baby is not bumping right now. I remember that they usually sleep when mum's moving because it rocks a little inside. He was supposed to be a good thing for us, something magical to share as a family. How did I let all this happen?

xxx

I'm happy that Matthew pops in at the Home today, I suppose it will change my bad mood a little. He said he has great news and a favor to ask. I feel a little puzzled and frightened too. I remember Matthew is probably still working on what they were doing in Fort Sheridan, which means my family's DNA. I'm really happy to show him where we got to with the Home and children.

I'm so happy to see him that I jump straight from my chair and hug him. "Hi Matt. I'm so glad to see you. I hope you will have time for a tour of the Home, we have labs here too, you know…"

I suddenly realize that Matthew looks worn and worried. I am a little scared when I say "Hey. What happened to you? You look terrible, is there something wrong?"

"Hello Tris. I'm sorry I look this bad, it's just that I've been working a lot recently. I'm on a huge thing you know, and it's related to you."

I raise an eyebrow "How come?"

"I think I'm about to find a cure to the genetic mess they've done. I will need more help to get there but my research is very promising in creating a vaccine. That's why I needed to speak with you. I need something from you to go on." I suddenly have a bad feeling coming, as every time we have spoken about genetics and DNA together. I stay silent, waiting for the blow to hit me.

"I… First, that would be very helpful if you accepted to give me the placenta after your baby is born." I stay silent, expecting what the next strike will be "Second… I hope you don't hate me for asking this but I really feel I can make it and… I would need your eggs to prepare enough vaccine for everyone. I would need all you would agree to give. I cannot grow enough cells from the embryo I have. I need a lot of pluripotent cells to be able to vaccinate all the pregnant women."

I think I'm about to throw up… or faint.

Am I this special that I must tear away my body apart to save those people. Somehow I think about Natalie and all the other girls in this world that could have normal babies.

"How would you make those cells? Would you grow embryos again?" I ask, still uncomfortable with the very idea I'm talking about part of my body.

"I plan to make parthenogenesis embryonic stem cells. Erudites have successfully experienced the technique for years. This means I won't need to make embryos. I wouldn't ask that of you both again if I can help it. This is why I asked Caleb to join me for the last part of my research; he had occasions to work on parthenogenesis already. He didn't answer to me yet."

I think the idea of my own brother messing around with my genetic material doesn't help at all. It's rather scary, knowing that even if I decided to forgive him, Caleb tried to kill me once already, for science purposes. I ask "I believe you don't expect me to answer your right now about this, do you? I can't help my voice sounding like ice.

"No. Of course. That's why I asked you long enough, before I have need for the cells, you'll have time to think about it. I would understand if you say no to it all. But I hoped you would agree for the placenta though."

I just answer "I will think about it and I'll let you know when I make a decision." I suppose I will have to discuss this with Tobias… if we ever get to speak to each other.

I tell Matthew I have to go back to my work, so he prepares to leave. I'm not in the mood for a visit of the Home anymore. Before he opens the door, Matthew turns around to looks at me with a sad look and says "I'm sorry I asked you this... I now it's too much, but I had to try it; please, don't hate me."

I try to smile or speak but I can't.

xxx

**Tobias POV**

My assistant Carolyn, is doing her best to help me understand the Security Department's demands, but I can't concentrate on what she says. She was an accountant in the world outside before the war and she lost her husband and children in car accident. She is about 45 and I believe she could be my mother. The big difference is that she does not hate anyone for what happened to her. She came to Chicago to help us change things. I really appreciate her help because if I get along well with technical stuff, I have a rough time with numbers and business plans.

It' 10 already, I've been up since 5 AM and my hangover is not gone yet. I can't help thinking about what happened last night. I'm still angry but I'm worried about Tris. I kind of abandoned her with the kids and house to run. I have to know if they're all right.

I tell Carolyn I don't feel too well and ask her to leave me the file and come back this afternoon. I hope this will be long enough for me to do what I need. First I have to go home to grab a few things, I don't think I will be able to go back home tonight.

On the way there I keep thinking. What happened to us? Are we just learning some lesson of life or is there really something broken between us? I don't want to think that we could not overcome this, not now we have our children back and one to come, but I don't know what to do. I still believe I was right to stick to my obligations as a City leader, even if I had to sacrifice my family a little, but she must have felt the same with the Children's Home.

I wish I had an idea to sort this out. None of us would quit one's job, that's for sure. I'm not angry anymore but I don't want to change my decision about my job

When I get home, I quickly grab a few clothes and toiletries I might need. I don't take too much stuff though, not to let her think I believe this might last long. I give a quick call to make sure I can stay where I planned on the way, because I can't go to Zeke. I noticed that Shauna has become closer from Tris in the past month, and I believe she would judge me to leave her. I shall call her though, just to know if she heard from her today. I must be careful to what I say, just in case she would pass it on to Tris straight after.

On the way back, I stop at the Millenium Park. It's such a meaningful place to me: I fought my fear on the Ferris wheel for her…I took her on a date… I found her back here, when I thought she was dead. Thinking about that day, just reminds me how I felt when I thought she was dead, and it is suddenly so clear to me. I must find a way to get her back. I could not stand this pain and emptiness feeling again, that was filling every cell of my body at that time. I know I can't go on without her and the children. I just need to figure out something to make this work… and probably tell her I'm sorry, even if it's not the whole truth.

xxx

**Tris POV**

I already know I need him, I've known for sure ever since I was shot by David. Every day I had to live on without him, I have felt I was only half of myself. How come my strength always comes from others, and especially from him? Saying this, I still don't know how to make things better. If I dropped my job, I would very soon feel trapped in my life, I've already experienced this, and I don't want it back. I also want my family back to normal. Why would I be the only one to sacrifice her dreams?

I must stop brooding and think practical. I must try something I have in mind. I will have to make a few phone calls.

xxx

Shauna says that most of men (especially in Dauntless) find it easier to face a gun than a domestic problem. I believe she's right, because when I get back home with the kids at 6, I notice that Tobias is definitely gone. His toothbrush and razor aren't in the bathroom anymore, and a few clothes are missing in the drawer, as well a sport shoes.

I don't have time to think about how bad it is, because Christina rings at my door. She says that Shauna told her about a strange call she got from Tobias. He asked her if she got news from me today. She didn't ask him (better ask a mute), but she understood something probably was wrong, so she sent a message to Chris that I might need help.

She said she decided to come over to have a chat anyway. She gives me a hand to take care of the kids and after dinner, we can talk a little quietly.

"So what happened?" She says.

I tell her about our argument, but I feel I don't want to speak about it too much. She's happy at the moment; I want to speak about her life, not mine.

"Anyway, I decided I will find a way to fix everything. My idea is going on well. So tell me about you two instead. How's your life going?" She seems a little uncomfortable which is unusual, knowing the Candor part of her. I say "I'm you friend, you can tell me anything."

"Uh, I'm not sure it is the right moment to tell you this…." I interrupt "Would that be you're pregnant?" I ask pretty excited. She nods. "But that's great news!" I say. "I'm so happy for you both."

When she leaves two hours later, my mind is up a little, but tonight, I find the bed is empty and cold as a freezer.

xxx

**2 days later**

I'm worried, because I haven't heard from Tobias in the past two days. I had to lie to the children, saying he was on a trip for his work. I know he goes to work every day, but I couldn't speak to him and he's not staying with any of our friends: I called Zeke, Amar and even Christina and Matthew, but none of them seems to know where he could be sleeping at night. I have a little devil's voice in my head, telling me he might be gone with some girl from his work. That would be the only reason for him not to contact me…and if not me, he could give a call to Nathalie and Adam.

Christina says he is either too proud to surrender or too ashamed to dare talking first. We decided being proud is sometimes not so far from stupid.

I have left about 10 messages on his cell phone, because he doesn't answer my calls. What worries me is that he does not answer the messages either.

In the meantime, I managed to arrange my idea and it's just brilliant: I offered Shauna to come and help me at the Home part time. We will share my office which is huge and I will have a nursery installed in the next room, so we can have an eye on the babies while we work. She is thrilled. With her help, I will be able to make shorter and quieter days at work, so I can still be a decent housewife when I get home. I suppose that will settle it pretty well. Besides, I had a surprise going on for Tobias and the children. I had a big apartment renovated for us in Vincent and Louise House, and I started decorating and furnishing it, so we can move in when the baby will be there. It will also be easier for me to concentrate on work if I'm only 200 yards from home.

The problem is I have to talk to him, and I don't know where to find him. Thinking over it again, I manage to figure out a plan to get in touch with him...

_**A/N : Long chapter from different POVs this week-end. More ideas came to me while i was writing, so I gave them a try. Sorry if it's too long.**_

_**NayNay2014 you're really back in it. You guessed my mind right about Shauna. :))))**_

_**I've tried to update two stories at the same time and I feel my mind is splitting in two right now. This is why I'll concentrate on this story in the next days (weeks?), to finish it ASAP. Don't worry, I know where I'm going to, and I should only need two more chapters to tell you the end.**_


	54. Chapter 54: Appointments

**54\. Appointments**

**Tobias POV**

I enter the meeting room and as I usually do now, say "Hello, I'm Mr Eaton, what can I do for you Mrs. Wright?" As I lift my eyes up on her, I stop on the spot, looking at the somehow familiar silhouette. After a minute, I realize to my surprise that it's Tris. She cut her hair very short but it's her. I can't mistake her body, or her partly showing tattoos and scars that I know by heart right now. I immediately feel ashamed I didn't have the guts to talk to her until now "Tris? What? I...uh, I'm..."

She cuts me before I can make any bad excuses. She says calmly "OK. I've been a failure and you've been a jerk, so I suppose this makes one point each. I don't want to fight over the match point; I want to find a solution. That's why we need to talk, now." She said that like a settled fact. I open my mouth to respond, but she makes a sign for me to let her finish with her idea. "As you wouldn't answer your phone, I had to make an appointment with you. Maybe you don't remember but there's something we had to do this week. Let's go now or we'll be late. We can talk on our way."

I feel even worse than before, and I feel ashamed I have to rack my brains to find out what I forgot, that seems to be so important to her. The problem is that I don't find what we were supposed to do together…

I don't know what to say after that. I've never been very good for talking and today I'm not better than before. I can't help asking though "Why did you cut your hair so short?" She says casually "I thought a new me, might think differently."

"Did it work?" I ask again

"I think so." She says, and after a pause "I found someone to help at the Children's Home and I'll have more time left from next week."

While we walk our way out of the building, I have to ask her because I still didn't guess "Where are we going?"

"Hospital." She says. "You drive, I took the train." I look at her worried "Why are we going to the hospital? Is there something wrong…with the baby?" I have never felt that bad.

She seems to notice how bad I am, because she answers hastily "No, don't worry. There's nothing wrong with the baby. It's our last ultrasound exam today. You didn't answer my calls so I decided we should go today and I made an appointment with you through Carolyn, to get sure you would be there. I told her it was for a surprise for you. You left me no choice. I could not find you anywhere." I admire how determined she is.

I wish I was sure of what I want, just like she is.

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow to ask "By the way, will you tell me where you're staying? I've been looking for you everywhere."

I want to tell her where I've been, but I'm not sure this would help me right now. "I'll tell you later, I promise. I might need to hide for a few more hours, in case you would want to kill me you know… for being so rude to you."

She shakes her head as if I just said something stupid, and says "Don't be silly. But I'm not the only one you hurt Tobias Eaton. You will call your children tonight, wherever you are. It's not a reproach, it's an order: they believe you're on a work trip but they are worried and sad, you didn't even call."

I don't know why I haven't figured that out earlier. Am I such a bad father, I just forgot to call my kids? I squeeze the driving wheel like mad.

We don't speak any more until we get the hospital. I am afraid to ask the question I've been thinking about since I recognized her in the meeting room.

xxx

**Monday**

**Tobias POV**

We sit down in the waiting room outside the exam area, because we're a few minutes early. I don't dare looking into her eyes when I ask "Will you ever forgive me for being such a selfish coward?"

She looks at me and takes my hand "If I didn't, I wouldn't forgive myself either." She pauses. "We're family remember? It means we can make mistaken sometimes but we still care for each other. That's why I decided to forget the past few days. I think we just needed a break…family life can be really demanding. My theory is that we need to take some time off, just the two of us, just like our honeymoon trip. We wouldn't need to go that far all the time of course.**_[A/N see_**_ "**Divergent Be there on choosing day" chap. 15]**_"

"And how are we supposed to do that, what shall we do with the kids?" I ask.

She says "We will have to find some people to watch over them for a day, sometimes two. Seems easier to me, than going on arguing about our lives."

I feel better with her hand in mine.

**Tris POV**

The door of the exam room opens. I'm happy it is Dr Shaw again for our last ultrasound exam. I trust her and I feel confident.

This time I can really see our baby on the screen. I realize that I will soon be able to actually hold him in my arms and talk to him and I'm really excited. All the fears I had about giving him birth and raising him along with Adam and Natalie are melting. I smile at the thought of having him near me. I turn around to see Tobias and he is also smiling at the screen… or maybe he's smiling _**to**_ the screen. I don't think he even cares about what Dr Shaw is explaining. Things are how they should be.

When we leave the hospital, we linger in the park for a while. He says "Do you mind if I come back only tomorrow? There's something I need to do alone tonight. After that, I promise I won't let you down again."

I look at him to say "I trust you. I'll be fine for tonight, but please call the kids OK?" He nods. "There's another important issue, we have to talk about." I say gently. "Matthew asked me something, and I think we need to discuss about it." Then I explain the two things Matthew asked from me… from us. He looks both puzzled and a little disgusted by such demands. He asks "He said he could make vaccines enough for everybody if you… we do this?"

I respond "That's what I understood. He said he would need to vaccinate only the pregnant women to cure the genetic damage, but I don't know, maybe he was very optimistic. I understood he asked Caleb to come and help him, maybe we could ask him?"

Tobias looks at me quite surprised "Caleb told me about Matthew's offer a few months ago but I'm not sure he knew what it was about. I'll ask him tonight." I can't help a surprised "What?" He looks at me uncomfortable "Yes. I've been staying at Caleb's since I left. He's been surprisingly nice to me. He also didn't ask anything, and obviously did not sell me out to you."

I can't help being surprised by this sudden brotherhood between Tobias and Caleb, and I really don't like it. "How long have you been so close with Caleb?" I ask, in a cold tone that must betray my annoyance. Am I jealous?

"Since he actually saved my eyes and you forgave him I believe. Oh, and he also asked me for help about dating Cara. We just went out for a few drinks from time to time you know; I wouldn't say we're close friends. He helped me a lot though, in his way."

I'm just startled about how he hid this so well to me, but I don't want to be angry with him again, so I suppose I will just wipe it away for now. I hear it's noon so it's time to go. I get up and say "I'll take the train to go back to EJ's Home. I'll see you tomorrow then." I don't try to kiss him, I'm not ready yet.

xxx

**Tris POV**

**The next day**

It's 9 AM when I hear the beep and look at the message on my phone. It's from Tobias and says "Look through the window." I feel that's strange, because he called yesterday evening already, so I drop my charts and get up immediately to look outside. Under my window stands only the Quad lawn. When I open it, I can see a pretty big number of white chrysanthemums assembled to write the word _SORRY _on the lawn. At the end, of it, the flowers trace a heart and Tobias is standing in the middle, waiting in the cold. It's not snowing but it should not be long before the first snow. Talking of snow, my heart melts, I can't help it, this is just so sweet. I run down the stairs and jump into his arms. We start kissing desperately and he whispers "Please forgive me." I pull back a little from his embrace, cup his head in my hands and say "You're already forgiven, but we shouldn't forget this lesson." And I go back kissing him before someone comes around to break this moment... or I freeze on the spot.

_**A/N: Sorry the baby's not here yet, but the next (and very likely last) chapter is on the way, so you might have it quite soon. Thanks to everyone following this story and lots of kisses to the reviewers. Your support is great help.**_


	55. Chapter 55: A new life in this world

**55\. Tris: A new life in this world**

_**A/N: Warning this is a totally… fully girl's POV chapter with some "technical" details in it. I tried to render the idea that giving birth is usually magic but not only, when you're on the spot. Let's say it sounds better when it's over ;-) And yes it's painful guys (some men did experiment labor pain with a simulator and dropped it). I could not write about what men think while we go through this though, I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention…**_

_**If one of you readers, feels for a realistic one shot about what Tobias thinks during these hours, you're welcome for a chapter. PM me !**_

**Friday, December 23rd **

I turn on my other side again and I feel the hot liquid running on my thighs. I get up quickly and go to bathroom. I check what's flowing out of my body: it's clear, not blood. I have to wake Tobias and leave to the hospital as soon as possible. It's nearly midnight, great moment to play football in my tummy boy!

I go back to the room and I shake Tobias gently. I whisper "Please wake up, I broke the waters, we have to go. I take my things and you call Christina to watch over the kids."

The midwife comes straight to me and takes me to the exam room and asks Tobias to wait outside. I don't like this, I feel stronger when he's around. I try to hide my desperate look to him, by looking at my feet.

"Hello. I'm Susan your midwife for today." She says while making me lie down on the bed. The she starts asking me questions, about what has happened so far, I listen to each question, and answer mechanically like a robot, because I feel angst growing in my stomach every minute. "How many weeks pregnant are you?"

I give it a quick thought and say "I'm 38 weeks."

"Have your waters broken?" She asks

"Yes, about one hour ago. That's why I came here." I answer

"What color were they?" asks the midwife looking concerned.

"They were clear I guess."

"Have you felt your baby moving today?" I hardly have time to shake my head no then she goes on "Have contractions started?"

"No. Is that bad?" I ask, more worried than ever. She looks at me with sympathy this time and says "Hey darling, is this your first child, you look terrified?"

"No, it's not. I had twins 5 years ago, but I had a C-section and they had to sedate me because I was too weak, so it's my first time giving birth the normal way you see. I don't know exactly what to do, that's why I'm a little scared."

"All right." she says. "It's usually not a big deal. As the contractions have not started and it's not crowded today, we will take time together to talk about what's coming next. Would that help?" I feel relieved and I respond. "That would be very nice of you."

During the next hour I start pacing and making gym moves non-stop, to help the contractions start. The midwife explained that, because I lost the waters, I have only a few hours left before they have to start the labor medically. After 12 hours, the baby would risk infections. While I walk and trot around the room, Susan tells me about what I will have to do and teaches me how to breathe when she will tell me. Tobias is curled in a big armchair. I told him to try sleeping a little while there's nothing on, because Susan said you never know how long it can take till the baby's born. I hope it won't last 12 hours or more, that prospect, really scares me.

She says they can also make an epidural to me. She explains that painkilling drugs are passed into the small of the back via a fine tube, so the drug is injected around the nerves that carry signals from the part of your body that feels pain in labor. "It will numb your tummy but you will still be fully aware of what happens." She says. "You shall ask for it when you'll be dilated enough."

I've been pacing and trotting for 2 hours when I feel it. My whole tummy contracts violently and I can't help bending and clutching the nearest piece of furniture, while I try to breathe as I was told. Susan is gone, so I start watching my watch, to follow the frequency of contractions; she said I should ring when they start coming in less than every 10 minutes. I don't want to wake up Tobias until I'm sure it's time to, and at the moment, the contractions are only 15 minutes.

After another hour I can really feel the pain with each contraction. Shauna said that only women can stand the final contraction's pain, and I already feel it's pretty intense. I think I might start crying if this goes on increasing. This time I count only 7 minutes between contractions, so I ring for the midwife and wake up Tobias. She checks my belly and says it's time for me to go to the delivery room. I struggle with pain and angst at the same time and I think it shows on my face.

Susan says "Hey darling, that's a very good day for your baby to come. It's Christmas eve tonight!"

I'm glad that cheers her up, but I'm not in the mood for a little chat right now, another contraction is crushing me. When I'm installed on the bed, Tobias sits on the next chair. I understood he is here to support me, and eventually give me some arm or hand to crush and hurt when pain will increase, from what Shauna says.

Ok says Susan, it's time you choose if you want an epidural." I want so much to stop suffering –it's supposed to be a wonderful moment- that I nearly shout "Oh yes, I would like to." She gives a quick phone call.

Then Susan explains to Tobias that the anesthetist will be there in five minutes and she has to prepare me for the epidural. I sit down on the bed, while she opens the shirt at the back and starts installing sterile gauze around the place where the needle must be inserted. I see Tobias's face whitening and Susan, who noticed it too, says he can go and have a coffee if he wants to, because it's better we have no distraction when the anesthetist will proceed.

I see relief on his face when he gets up. At least, one of us can run away from here. Another contraction comes, bending me for about one minute and the anesthetist is here.

I think something is wrong, he's been trying to make this epidural for what seems like hours to me. I'm not allowed to move an inch when he puts the needle in my back so I have to deal with the now closer contractions and the uncomfortable feeling of the needle, entering my back. It's not painful but I feel it. This is hell and I forget everything about the good breathing and relaxing techniques. I can't do anything while I sit down like this, just enduring pain. I pray for this to end soon when I start panicking. I feel something sliding down.

It takes several minutes until they take all the stuff from my back and I hear someone calling Tobias outside.

5 minutes later, our son is out. They say it's 12:15 and it's just over. Susan says she hardly had time to catch him. I'm all to my relief from pain and I don't quite follow what's going on. I hear him cry and I see the midwife helping Tobias clamp the cord and take the placenta in a bowl. I told her what to do with it. I hear them taking care of him, checking his weight and wrapping him in a soft cloth to keep him warm, then someone finally puts him on my chest, letting his skin against mine.

It's actually Tobias, who's trembling as I've never seen him, but I also see in him, a glimpse of the strength you can find in yourself when it comes to your children. He looks both frightened and proud, but he is like suddenly grown up. He whispers in my ear "Wow. You've done a great job, I don't know how you made it, it looked like hell... Are you still sure about the name?" I nod because I don't want to disturb him because I notice he put his thumb straight in his mouth. I see Tobias lean over our son that seems so small, now he's finally out. I'm stroking his tiny body lightly, when I hear him whisper "Welcome to the world Theodore Eaton."

Then the little Theo finds his way for a little lunch. After hell I'm in paradise.

_**A/N: And the winner is enm4818 who suggested the name Theo Eaton! You changed my original idea for this. Thank you for your help everyone.**_

_**Here you are with the baby. I could not write from Tobias POV in this chapter it's too personal and I'm a woman so this is what I can talk about more accurately.**_

_**There's still an epilogue to come, where I will tell you what happens for nearly everyone in this story, and what they did about Matthew's demand. Don't worry it's currently in writing.**_


	56. Chapter 56: Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Sunday, May 2Oth**

A sunbeam hits my eye through the curtains. I wake up slowly and I stir up in my bed. I don't feel like getting up right now, I'm too tired by the party we had tonight. And Tobias snored for about 2 hours when we got to sleep. I turn around to watch him asleep. I like those moments, because I really feel he's mine, completely mine. I don't have to share him with friends or with the children. He jumps when I lay my head back on the pillow next to his. I smile at him and I cuddle myself into his arms, with my head resting on his chest. I can feel his heart beating calmly.

I am 23 today. Back in Abnegation, some would have said only 23, hardly the proper age to date someone. I can't believe so much has happened to me since my choosing day. I grew up a lot, lost my parents, fought a war, killed too many people and still, managed to have a family with my three kids and my husband, the man I have loved more than myself for nearly seven years.

He looks down to me and says "Hello love. Happy Birthday." I'm really bluffed that he remembers this, after drinking so much yesterday evening. I answer "Thank you. But how can you remember anything?" He laughs but that seems to bring him a headache at the same time as he winces too "I don't remember yesterday, but I still remember why we had a party." And he gives me the sweetest kiss. I pity him a little for having a headache, and decide to make breakfast to help. I reluctantly pull myself off his arms and get up. I am charitable enough to keep the curtains closed and I go for a quick shower because, even if I didn't drink alcohol-I'm still breast feeding Theo, I need my brains back too.

When I feel clean and awake, I go to the kitchen and on my way, I find Adam and Natalie in the living room, eating chocolate bars with a cartoon playing on. Hopefully they didn't make it too loud, not to wake Caleb and Cara who stayed over for the night. They were actually the only ones who could both get drunk, because Christina is about 7 months pregnant, and Shauna thinks she is. Shauna has changed a lot, now we work together. She's been a great help and she has brilliant ideas. She foresaw that we will have to improve the EJ's Home into a comprehensive education centre. She's right. The kids from fort Sheridan will grow up fast, and we will soon open a new building for another 200 children, so we will need a college and high school to give them everything they will need in the new world we're preparing for them. We're working on it with a team of Erudite to choose subjects and teachers. Shauna is trying to convince Zeke to move in close to us, when they'll have their third child. I hope he accepts, I love having my friends around.

Caleb made it public they're a couple only a few weeks ago, but I had caught them making out, long before that. At my baby shower, for New Year's Eve, they tried to hide in the guest room for a kiss, but I had to get in for an extra chair and caught them.

Theo is still sleeping so I will have time to do some coffee and maybe pancakes. I hope he won't wake up too late though, because my breasts start hurting from milk pressure, and I feel some milk dripping already.

xxx

After we all finished breakfast, including Theo, I dress Natalie and Adam, who leave to the playground outside, and start tidying up a bit, because we left it all scattered around yesterday.

We moved in this big apartment three months ago and I immediately felt home. This is the first time I really feel home in a place I like, a place where I belong. It's not a house but it's huge – we have 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and storage in the basement. The building faces a big lawn where a game park has been installed; I often go walking there with Theo.

I decorated the house with paintings I like and drawings from Adam and Natalie. The walls of all the common rooms are cream and white in the house except for the children's rooms: Adam chose a light green color and Natalie voted for a mauve shade. Christina helped them to choose stencils that I painted myself in black on the plain wall. This is for the "Dauntless touch".

In our room, I painted two walls in grey and the two others in black. I want to remember that our factions made us what we are now. I installed our wedding tree on one of the black walls; I mean it as a blessing for this home.

I head toward the window to open it wide; it's bright and sunny today. I hear children laughing on the lawn, playing on the playground. I try to spot Adam and Natalie in the middle of all the other children…I could say all **_my_** other children. I feel responsible for all of them now, and I'm doing everything I can, every day, to get them back to a normal life. I hold Theo in the baby carrier and he fell asleep, as usual after breastfeeding. I will take him out in the sun. I feel Tobias behind me. he puts his hands around my waist and starts kissing my neck gently.

We're happy with our three children. They are all Divergent. We decided we wouldn't have anymore. I was not that easy to go to the clinic and give my eggs though, but I finally gave all of them for research. We hope that our children will have a chance to live a "normal" life, and be over with factions and genetic experiments. If this is up to us, even for a small part, we want to give them the chance. I trust Matthew to do his best for it. Since he started working on the placenta cells, we don't see him anymore; I believe he will end up marrying a test tube. Caleb eventually agreed to join his research team, once he knew about our decision. What if my gift would actually save everyone in the future?

_At that very moment, I feel proud of what we achieved Tobias and I. It's strange to admit that we made actually so much more by giving life, than by dying for those people._

_**A/N: Here it is. I finished this story, even if it took me longer than I thought to get there. Thank you for reading so much stuff. I hope you enjoyed it. I have an idea for a sequel but let me know if you would like one !  
**_

_**If I have a lot of demands, I'll post the first chapter as a teaser and if you like it, I will go on.**_

**_Last special shoutouts to NayNay2014, Cheeky-lil-monkey and Crazybooklover7676, thank you so much for your support._**


	57. Follow the Sequel to this story

**_Author's note._**

**_Hi everyone. I told you I had an idea for a sequel. Here is how I planned to start it, 7 years after the end of Broken._**

**_It will mostly be about what happens to Natalie and Adam, both from their POV and their parent's. I plan to speak about teenager's problems and how parents sometimes can be of help, but don't always find the right way to do it. There will be a major issue for each of the kids too._**

**1\. Tris: 7 years later**

**Thursday, September 26th**

I come back home with Theo and I say as usual "Hi it's Mummy! We're home." As usual, I get no answer, even though Natalie and Adam came back one hour ago.

I install Theo in his bedroom to finish his homework. I tell him to finish learning his poetry that I'll check before dinner.

I go straight to Adam's room where he is reading quietly on the tablet, but with headphones loudly on, as usual. I shake him and ask "Did you finish your homework first?" He does not lift his eyes from the screen nor takes the headphone off, and makes a sigh to answer "Of course I did. You ask me every day."

"I'll check your homework in a minute anyway." I answer. He is only 13 and we have the hardest times to make him go out of his books and loud and violent music. We got over his morbid tastes, his constant dull mood, but I'm really worried about his rebel temper. He pretends we favorite his sister because she's brilliant, and we love his younger brother more than him, for being unspoilt by the experiments in Fort Sheridan years ago.

We tried to have Adam make sports. He is really talented for most of sports, and I understood he is a kind of a champion in martial arts, but we could not help him getting violent in any type of close combat. He is such a rebel that he will never stay in a team for more than a month. We confiscated him the video game consoles after he broke the second one from frustration, after a lost shooting game. That's how he ended up listening to loud music in his bedroom most of the time, no matter how much therapy we've been through. No need to say he has no friends. Curse Marcus for messing our lives even after such a long time! Had Tobias not killed him, I would have with my bare hands. I sigh and remember I have another teenager waiting and she's been much too silent.

When I open Natalie's door, I know something has been wrong. She's lying on her bed, and I can see she has been crying from her red and swollen eyes. I believe this has something to do with others bullying her at school again. Natalie is too brilliant and too lonely. It's not her fault, her brains seem to come from me, or my DNA to be exact. She has one friend in Alice, Zeke and Shauna's eldest daughter - they have three now. The problem is that, this year they are separated, because her teachers insisted on Natalie going to high school one year early, while Alice is still in 8th grade. I understood she was quite happy to miss the ball because I know she has no boyfriend. I understand her brains scare the others, but I thought it would get better with time.

I get in and sit on the bed next to her. "Okay, What's wrong sweetie?"

She looks at me sadly and gives a crumpled paper ball to me. I unfold it and I can read that it's a maths test labeled A+. I know she's been doing very well since she started this year. I ask wonderingly "And what about that? You've done very well honey..."

"They were mean to me and said I should tell them how I did it." She sniffs a little. "When I answered I just didn't really know how I had done it, they said I could not tell, because I was a cheater."

I come closer to her and take her in my arms. "Hey, sweetie, you know you did not cheat, and you don't care about what they think do you?"

"No, I don't really care… but everybody hates me now. They think that I found some trick to get all the good answers and don't want to share it with them." She says sadly.

I know she had not many friends last year and now she lost Alice too "I know you feel lonely. Maybe it will get better when they'll you're not good in everything."

"Like what?" She says hopefully looking up.

"You're terrible at sports, except dancing of course, and you're no good in singing and arts." I say with a thin smile.

"And you think that'll make it? Mom you don't get it at all. You're too old to understand." I retain a smile at hearing her calling me old. I mean, I'm just over 30! But I guess it's not fun for Natalie so I decide we need a chat.

"Okay what if we discuss it all after dinner? First I must go and check your brothers' homework and prepare something to eat. You've finished your homework of course?"

"Yes. It's a biology lesson and I know more about it than the teacher anyway, thanks to Uncle Caleb and Aunt Cara."

I smile, because I know she's right. Not only did she read all the books Caleb offers her for her birthday, but she started spending time in the lab with Caleb and Matthew last summer. Since she understood that Matthew and Caleb were actually working on some vaccine to kind of save humanity from genetic disaster, they both appear like living gods to her. I believe that Caleb's books turned her into a science freak… or maybe it's my Erudite's DNA? She doesn't know who gave Matthew the cells to make the vaccines though. I suppose we will have to speak about that some day… and add other problems to the ones we already have?

The vaccine has been ready for nearly five years now, and every pregnant women must get an injection in the first 2 months ever since. Christina had the vaccine for her second child, a girl named Deryn. Her son is seven and is very good friends with Theo. Our gang is growing bigger. The problem is that they still don't really know if the repaired DNA will pass through the next generation.

Before I get up from Natalie's bed, I just ask with a wink "Would you need me to give you a mood-song?" She nods with a smile. The mood-song is something I invented two years ago, because we're not the talkative family type, and I could not easily speak with Adam and Natalie. That's why I tried to find a way to communicate with them, even when we could not find words. I started this as a game where we would choose a song or a music, which would describe our mood to others. You could respond either with any other song or with speech if you wished.

During this game, I received love songs (not only from Tobias), anger songs, baby songs, hope songs sad or happy ones. Sometimes, I would also just put a nice music on just to make the atmosphere cooler, some other times I would play something on the piano when I felt like it. Theo seems to like playing it a little. We still use the game when needed, but recently it has been more often to find a song to help one of us get better. I get out to grab my tablet where I store the music files. I know what she needs right now... I give it back to Natalie with _Firework_ from Katy Perry…

_You don't have to feel like a wasted space  
You're original, cannot be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds  
After a hurricane comes a rainbow_

_Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed_  
_So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road_  
_Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow_  
_And when it's time you'll know_

_You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine_  
_Just own the night like the 4th of July_

_'Cause, baby, you're a firework_  
_Come on, show 'em what you're worth…_

While I check Theo's homework, I hear Tobias coming back. I peer through the door to ask him if he can check Adam's homework, while I give Theo his bath and cook for dinner.

_**Look for the story BROKEN PART 2 (story 10853363) to find out what happens next.  
**_

_**I WON'T UPDATE IN THIS STORY ANYMORE SO YOU NEED TO FOLLOW BROKEN PART 2.**_

**_But please please, do not stop reviewing on this story. I'm ready to improve it if necessary._**

_**See you there.**_


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